Re: OW in General in the Press and Other Places

Making Observations in Society in 2008

I have noticed lately if you are an OW and say so either in an ad on some of our very well known social networking systems either via an ad or via a statement, and you mention that you are in the title 9 x out of 10 it will either be yanked, be flagged, or you will be asked to remove the "OW/Older Woman" verbage from the title or from the body of the text. This has happened to me on CL and on M*tch dot ancient men 4X in the past month.

Of course, it is ok for guys no matter how young or how old to vary off of age- appropriate status and announce their preferences either in text or in title headings, but just let an OW do it, and the flash brush fire that will be either heaped on her head or the wrath of the editors/swat team is just deplorable.

The other thing I have noticed in the past 6 mos, is the number of times that I and my friends have turned down either men our ages or men close to our ages, and the angry, high drama temper tantrums that have insued because the men felt that we should be so grateful to go out with them as we were so "old" and needy of attention. They were just dumbfounded and amazed that we would turn them down. It is not that we didn't let them down easily. We did. But the frightening piece is that they reacted with such rage, that it was frightening...and probably why their wives vanished off the planet as well. It is this very reason that I find hanging at bars these days even in a classy location to be a bit scary...I would rather date the net...even though it speeds things up often too quickly. Yes, meeting one on one in real time is so much better, but frankly, the tempers of the men in their 50's who now realize that older women are now on level playing fields is just mind blowing.

The women's movement 40 yrs ago has given us all more choices, more time, more courage, more power.

The next thing I want to address is politics. For those of us in the USA who want to see more estrogen in the White House, come Nov., many of us are writing in Hillary Clinton's name on the ballot. I truly believe that more estrogen in the White House will mean less wars, less ego posturing.
That is just my feeling.
My skin is tough, and I am open to your comments.

http://sp1.yt-thm-a04.yimg.com/image/25/f10/345918913
whoopie.

thick skin? yeah, right.

Kerri:
I will only address the political part because I really do not care if a few men get angry because I reject them.

I do not think that you should pick a candidate just because of their gender. If you think that Hillary has the best political ideas, political platform, and great list of accomplishments by all means vote for her. But do not vote for her just because she is a woman.

I live in a country that had a woman president and she committed her share of screw ups same as any man.

being a female and quite educated and articulate helps her...as she has already proven herself several times over...but also voting my wallet, as I earned more under Bill Clinton, her husband, than I have ever earned in my life...so I am voting also my wallet.

However,if I have heard it once, I have heard it at least 5x this year from white American males that they would never vote for a female. Ånd this is quite sad.

However,if I have heard it once, I have heard it at least 5x this year from white American males that they would never vote for a female. Ånd this is quite sad.
They are probably the same kind of ignorant that would not vote for a black person either, so McCain has a good chance. :rolleyes:

I am not sure how much estrogen Hiliary will be bringing to the White House, but I am QUITE certain she has as big an ego as any other politician...no penis factor with that aspect! ;)

I am not sure how much estrogen Hiliary will be bringing to the White House, but I am QUITE certain she has as big an ego as any other politician...no penis factor with that aspect! ;)

I would have to agree. I don't think estrogen in the whitehouse is what we need anyway.

I think we need someone with honesty and integrity who has the interest of the american people first and foremost in their heart and mind.

Yeah thats a bs thing.

Honestly, this site is a ground breaking spin on the OW/MILF/Cougar titles.

To me this site turns them all around into positive titles to have.

Why hate the titles when you can start the idea of turning them around and have people describe the title the way OWs would want them them described instead of an offensive description of some OW who is sex crazed and has the idea that YMs last longer due to youth.

So keep the OW title here and let the rest of the world play catch up with you ladies.

Redefine it all :)


As far as the presidency I'm not too in favor of Hilary. However I would love to see the day a woman like Margret "The Iron Lady" Thatcher runs for the oval office.

I can not believe it...you mean they don't allow you to post in your ad "OW looking for YM?" That is outrages and crazy! I mean, it is actually in vogue now for an older woman to pursue a younger man...look at Demi Moore, Cher and others who have been open about it.

I wrote in another post but might bring it up again...a week or so ago...went out with the other ladies for my friend's 40 bday. The group had women in their 30s to 50s all together, a big bunch of us.


After dinner, we went into a bar that turned out to have a younger crowd. This man said loudly "Watch out for the cougars!" This young guy was in front of me and he gave me a look up and down, sort of had a look on his face like he thought I was on the prowl. I was mortified! I scooted past him. For one, I am not on the prowl...I am actually taking a break right now from actively looking. And for two, when I am back to looking, I would be searching for an old-fashioned guy who wants to go to church with me, looking at marriage. I am not looking to make a cougar booty call or something. But I got the feeling that he saw us on the prowl.

I just so happen to be more attracted to younger men. It is not all the physical, I find many older guys alluring (like Simon LeBon, he is 10 years my senior and what a hottie..from Duran Duran!). But it is more I enjoy their attitudes and energy level. If I found a Simon LeBon, I would go for him no matter the age. Kind of hard to explain but I think some of you might understand.

I get too weird reactions when I pass on guys...just for being a plus size gal. Some guys think I should be desperate and hard up for sex or something. It is so sad! Like I would have zero self-esteem and be easy to push around. I have dated guys who just could not believe I did not kiss the ground they walked on since i am plus size...one told me he thought that "bbws are less hardened since less men hit on them then skinnier women" and he expressed surprise that "I do get hit on".

Stereo types seem to die a slow death sadly.

I gotta tell ya, this is very sad and this nonsense about YM in bars trying to hide from OW (that "watch out for the cougars" quote), is the stuff of insanity. I don't know who these men are in these bars, but it seems to me that their brains are either severely diseased or they are all suffering from some sort of immature personality disorder.

Now this stuff about striking OW/YM from ads is just outright wrong, and any publication that does this should be questioned. I would certainly want to know on what grounds the publication feels it can just go ahead and make this kind of edit. What's the matter? Are they trying to protect adult YM from something we don't know about??????? Now what could that be, since OM placing similar ads for YW don't seem to be having this kind of problem?

I suspect the person in charge of the ad department has a bias against OW/YM relationships and is thus "ordering the edits." The only way to fight these kinds of biases is to ask questions and demand answers.

As for those bars where those mad men are shouting out weird things about OW, please don't go to these places. These people have some serious issues and they swim in a pollluted pond that you really don't want to dip a toe into. There have got to be better places to socialize, places where adult men both YM and OM, share the same space and act respectably when OW and YW come in for a drink, conversation and relaxation.

I posted an ad 6 mos ago, didn't stay on long, got flagged because I used "OW" spelled out, and it lasted about 2 days and then someone flagged it.

Most recently it has happened to me twice, my ad never got approved at
"Match dot com" because I used the words "Older Woman " in the title...I kept getting "Not Approved" over and over...that "no profanity, names, phone numbers, raunchy pics, etc>.." could be used...I kept looking at my ad, then I realized I had "OW" in the title and that for many that is the last taboo...it is ok for the older men to spout they want a younger hottie, or for a gay or lesbian to post their ads, but the last frontier is OW/YM...and for some reason many feel once you hit 50+ you need to hit the rocking chair...obviously in the ads they feel that way, also.

The worst reaction again for me has come from males 50+. They feel I am venturing where I should not go. Yes, there is the incorrect assumption that once you get 50+ and I am 59, that you must be suddenly a shady character to be dating anyone over ten years younger than yourself...wink , wink is usually the attitude you get.

The other problem I have is that a lot of my cute gf's are suffering from some type of depression. They have bought into the rocking chair mentality, and I can't get them out. But I think that is because I live in conservative Richmond, VA, USA. Location has a lot to do with attitude. I stay away from here for a year or so, then visit back usually when I bump into those that put down anyone over 45 who is female...it just reminds me that I am not the lone ranger.

Im staying off the politics and commenting on the temper tantrums thrown by older men re:dating ads.

Its been a few years since I had any ads posted but even back then--men would have those tantrums with the mere mention that I was OPEN to dating younger guys listed in my profile. Id get lectures by guys closer to my age (I think I would put something like 10 years younger and 5 years older for my required answer on age range). They were not very nice about it :no:

Id also get completely random and unsolicited emails from guys older than my specified age-range which were downright cruel!! The equivelent of calling me derranged or sick, and saying that when Im too old and (insert cruel adjectives here) to have any man want me I'll be sorry LOL. Yah....frightening is right.
I think that this thread does touch on some pretty hot topics re:dating sites and that IF those sites are rejecting profiles based on a womans' wilingness or preference for dating men younger than they are its pretty dispicable (and especially so if we are paying for it)!

I guess if you think about the motivation for the admins pulling those ads, perhaps they dont want to alienate what may well be their largest PAYING client base. Again, its been a few years however, I seem to recall that the men with the payed privledges on those sites were probably between 35 and 59 give or take. Suddenly if the environment is rich with women who actually PREFER men younger than them and have the 'nads to actually state that in their opening? what could happen!? :rolleyes:

I think we need someone with honesty and integrity who has the interest of the american people first and foremost in their heart and mind.

Any nominees????:rolleyes:

As for the reactions of older men toward us dating/marrying younger men, I too noticed the severely negative reactions from men anywhere from 5 years younger to 10 or so older. Go figure.

In response to your comments about the OM knee jerking to OW with ads out, even though ads might be yanked with OW in the header, YM will seek out and do seek out women they feel are savvy and trendy regarding the age...if they feel a connection, they will seek out the writer no matter. So yanking the headline doesn't stop men from pursuing those they want to pursue.

You might have a point about OM being the chief purchasers of paid for dating sites.

YHowever I would love to see the day a woman like Margret "The Iron Lady" Thatcher runs for the oval office.

:eek: Really?

You do know how she is regarded by a very large number of British people, right? She's a perfect example of a woman not meaning less war, etc.

I do not trust Hillary as far as I can spit........she is way too power hungry, changes her views with the "tide", and, I believe, can be bought as easily as Bush:rolleyes:
I will never put gender, or soley American agendas, over my role as a citizen of this world!
I'd vote for 3 people b/c, even if I didn't agree with them, I trust that they cannot be bought....
My list is Bill Gates, Bloomberg, and Oprah!
Too bad they are not running!
As to men, I belong to a couple of free sites and have never found there to be much difference between the younger or older men who hit on me lol.....98% of both age groups are kind of idiots :eek:
I've had a few women and men in my own age group make jokes but they didn't really bother me.
As to my personal preference............age has nothing to do with it except, now that I am divorced from my husband of 5 years, 20 yrs younger, I want to be with someone similar in age, spirituality, financial level, etc... to me or I prefer to be alone.
I've found that for me, I get way too stressed out trying to come to terms with too many differences but.......carry on!
Blessings, TD

:eek: Really?

You do know how she is regarded by a very large number of British people, right? She's a perfect example of a woman not meaning less war, etc.

Well, I'm a Reaganite that never got to vote for Reagan. I was born in 84.

"Thank you Mr. Reagan for putting the West back on offense where it belongs." -Margret Thatcher

I will always believe that the "Big Stick" method works. Because it does. Ask a Gangster in private if he fears the cop more or the fact that he's packin the gun. He will say the gun. Always. The gun is the Cop's "Big Stick".

It doesn't mean I'm aggressive, but it doesn't mean I will put up with being pushed around by some douchebag 5000 miles away either. It's a balance. Friendly, but stern. That's the idea of the big stick quote.

"Speak softly and carry a big stick."

sweetie dahling, you may admire maggie thatcher for her talk tough policies, but if you'd lived in the UK during the '80s and been the target of her economic and social decisions, you wouldn't admire her at all. and by the by, she was in love with ronnie reagan. a bad actor and a bad prime minister: perfect match.

sweetie dahling, you may admire maggie thatcher for her talk tough policies, but if you'd lived in the UK during the '80s and been the target of her economic and social decisions, you wouldn't admire her at all.

That's precisely it. The best quote to tell you what she was all about is "There is no such thing as society". At least it was something very close to that.

Its been a few years since I had any ads posted but even back then--men would have those tantrums with the mere mention that I was OPEN to dating younger guys listed in my profile. Id get lectures by guys closer to my age (I think I would put something like 10 years younger and 5 years older for my required answer on age range). They were not very nice about it

Id also get completely random and unsolicited emails from guys older than my specified age-range which were downright cruel!! The equivalent of calling me deranged or sick, and saying that when I'm too old and (insert cruel adjectives here) to have any man want me I'll be sorry LOL. Yah....frightening is right.
I think that this thread does touch on some pretty hot topics re:dating sites and that IF those sites are rejecting profiles based on a womans' willingness or preference for dating men younger than they are its pretty despicable (and especially so if we are paying for it)!

Me too, Raven....I remember blocking a BUNCH of older men who outright insulted me or called me crude names for the preferences/age range I had listed in my profile back then. I actually went out (face to face) with a guy about 3 years younger (same age to me)...mid 40's...who told me that when I finally "grew up" I would realize what I was missing with guys his age and older:mad:.
Whatever dude; chip on the shoulder?...date over...delete...next...

Wow, Kerri, Raven, Special K -- that is unbelievable.

What is wrong with some men? They are SO threatened by a woman that doesn't fit their narrow little world views that they need to lash out at people that way... WOW.

I KNOW not all men are like that, obviously. But lately I've been feeling disillusioned about male-female relationships (nothing to do with my own relationship... actually, it started with all the hating that I've been seeing lately by some men's reactions to the Sex and the City Movie, of all things... my own sweet boyfriend likes the show a lot and came with me on opening night, so it's not him).

Well, I'm a Reaganite that never got to vote for Reagan. I was born in 84.

"Thank you Mr. Reagan for putting the West back on offense where it belongs." -Margret Thatcher

I will always believe that the "Big Stick" method works. Because it does. Ask a Gangster in private if he fears the cop more or the fact that he's packin the gun. He will say the gun. Always. The gun is the Cop's "Big Stick".

It doesn't mean I'm aggressive, but it doesn't mean I will put up with being pushed around by some douchebag 5000 miles away either. It's a balance. Friendly, but stern. That's the idea of the big stick quote.

"Speak softly and carry a big stick."

Dude I grew up during the Reagan era and it was CRAP. Nothing about those 8 years of Reaganomics brings any happy nostalgia to mind, I remember a lot of people losing their business, their jobs and their homes...kind of like today lol. No wonder Margaret Thatcher and Reagan were friends. UGH.

Dude I grew up during the Reagan era and it was CRAP. Nothing about those 8 years of Reaganomics brings any happy nostalgia to mind, I remember a lot of people losing their business, their jobs and their homes...kind of like today lol. No wonder Margaret Thatcher and Reagan were friends. UGH.

I am with you on this..NOT saying he was a bad president BUT I can remember the economy was CRAP and MANY job loses and homes flushed away because of it

PS I just got asked by some older man ..ever try us? I said once and I did not like it thank you very much.
HE GOT SO MAD i thought he was going to explode. He proceded to say I should be HAPPY someone one my age would even be asked. All I could do was LAUGH and told him..hunny I get asked out a LOT by younger men and there is ONLY ONE I want and have been with a while now...but thanks for telling me I should be happy YOU asked me...makes me realize why I do not date men My own age

I got told off by a youngin in the online dating thing today...something about younger men have a hard enough time being faithful to a 25 year old...much less a 40 year old. Oh, bite me.

Oh my goodness... these guys think you should be grateful they asked you out??? If they really thought you were so pathetic they wouldn't ask you out, so what's up with that???

I feel a lot better about myself as a human being now that I am 61, and I can look back on my decades. Without judgement, I can say I did the best I could at the time in relationships. I dated older, and younger men. Each one taught me something about myself. I gave too much sometimes, and not enough at others. It was very hard to maintain stable, practical, relationships with guys my own age, and the young ones were busy growing older. I didn't want to be "kept" because I wanted my own security, and material wealth. Not having to fully depend on a man was the key for my being able to take my time, and, if necessary, be polyamorous. (Not because I was fickle, but because other people were fickle at times.) The man I wanted most would frequently choose another woman. The guys I liked a little, and kept at a safe distance, were often crazy about me. I feared making the wrong decision, so I stayed single.

I watch for negative patterns in myself, and my male friends. I don't want a guy with a lot of baggage. And I don't want to be "mom" to any of them. I have 3 male friends, and we are all sitting on fences. The only life I can lead is my own, and they can sit all day for all I care. BUT, if any of them want to play, and be happy with me, I will be glad to give it a try. I want equal respect. I don't want to be owned, or own anyone. I just want to share the pleasures in life.

As for politics : I can't stand Hillary. Reagan forget it. I want my community, and family values back. The economy is dreadful, but the lesson has always been : "learn to economise" and learn from the past. Many people threw caution to the wind, and got way too deep into debt, and they knew better. They just didn't care. Misery loves company. They though that debt was "normal and trendy" (till the bills came in like a tidal wave). I don't own a charge card. Forget it. I am going to honor my grandparents, and live well, but with financial common sense. Sorry for the rant....

It's funny.....when Reagan was running for president ALL the dancers, actors, artists, were signing petitions b/c they didn't want him in office.
Oddly, I was dancing in the same company as his son, Ron Jr. lol.
Personally, I made more money in the 80's than any other time in my life....I was young and didn't give a hoot about American politics.
All I know is that I had tons of work, bought my first house, and was doing great financially!