I am in a strange situation.

I met a 20 year old online. I just moved to a new town, and have always enjoyed younger men...not like the older ones have been any better for me...
This guy posted an ad on Craigslist that was really intriguing. Now I know as well as anyone else that when I meet someone online they could be lying to me in every way possible.

He wants me to take his virginity, or so he says he is one. It was in the tag line in the post, and I couldn't help but answer. His post seemed so honest, really. Now I've had "friends" that turned out to be pathological liars, and he
has even admitted to lying about his age (he likes older women), but swears he is now 20, and will be 21 in July. So, we have been talking on the phone, and online, and I keep becoming more and more intrigued. Now I am a fairly educated woman, and he "keeps up" so to speak intellectually in our conversations. I really like him. He lives 3 hours away, which is bad and good, and we are planning to meet at some point. I know this could have bad consequences, but since I've been talking to him, he seems very honest and real.

This is something to know as well...He seems very knowledgeable about sex talk. I don't know if this is just from "online chatting, or if he really does have experience." I don't want to do something stupid, but I am SO intrigued, and he is interesting to me on many levels...we have even talked about trying out a relationship once we meet if things go well.

Here's the big thing...sort of...and he will say so himself: he lives with his mom and is out of work right now, and I cannot be a sugar momma, nor do I want to be (well, on a fantasy level I do, but...), and I like the fact that he calls me mommy...I really get into that sort of thing. I always felt like I was weird for having that fantasy, but it has never gone away...

SO, I just don't know what to do, or even how to feel at this point. I have a lot of mixed emotions. Any ideas???

This sounds kind of spooky, so I would be very careful. I mean, he wants you to take his virginity but he talks "sex" like he's had experience. He lied about his age but now swears he's going to be 21 in July? Why did he have to lie in the first place. Something is not right here.

But ok, let's say he's telling the truth and that it's July and that he's 21. He's out of work and lives with his mother. Does he have any plans for the future? Is he in college, or is he an artist, or does he have something planned so that he can make some bucks? In other words, is this man self-sufficient or is he working hard to become self-sufficient. If not. why not.

Does he really call you "mommy?" Ok, if that's your fantasy, I won't intrude. That said, you better make sure that you're not looking to play the "mommy" role in real life cause he's already got a "mommy."

Meeting someone is harmless, but in this situation, I'd want to make sure this guy is what he says he is and if that means putting his driver's license or birth certificate on the table, so be it. If you can get the mystery out of this equation and keep the "mommy" thing locked in the fantasy zone of your brain, maybe something will develop, but there are many factors here that mimic the feeling of standing on a bridge that is about to collapse. Just way too many unknows.

Sounds to me as if this is more about sex than anything else. You want to go to bed with a young male virgin and that is what intrigues you, from your post it doesnt sound as if you are interested in a relationship but in starting an affair. Which is fine.

The mommy thing...ok no comment, it's a bit creepy but hey if it turns you on then more power to you and youre both adults so thats between you.

You answer a craigs list post looking for sex, you want sex and if you like each other after the sex then you might try a relationship. So whats the problem?

If you are posting here to feel validated, I do not think that you are going to get that from the general membership...

You have a fantasy, you want to fulfill it, go for it, but it is up to you, not us to tell you it is OK to go for it! You must live with whatever consequences it may result out of making your fantasy a reality.

Good luck.

I am asking for ideas...the first post seems very helpful...others seem a little more on the judgmental side...I mean, fine, if that's the way you feel, and I appreciate your input, or I wouldn't have asked for it...However, I do NOT have a problem with my fantasy, and this is more about wondering about the truth...no about fulfilling a fantasy...SO, thanks Unconventional, for understanding that. We all have our fantasy lives, and if you think there's something wrong with that, maybe you have some hangups...we all like something different...

I thought this was supposed to be a supportive place. You may most certainly not like or agree with my fantasy, Strawberries, but listen girl, for you to say it is "creepy" is insulting, and unnecessary...If you say no comment, then don't make it. Besides, I am comfortable with that part of myself (no validation needed!). What I was asking for is ideas about his honesty. If you read my bio, and if you read my post, you would know that I inevitably am looking for a relationship...are we not allowed to talk about our fantasies on here???

I met a 20 year old online.

Congrats! You got yourself a good catch.



He wants me to take his virginity, or so he says he is one. It was in the tag line in the post, and I couldn't help but answer. His post seemed so honest, really.

From what you've said so far, he appears to be a true-blue virgin. I was in his shoes at one moment and I had no true intention of lying, as I'm sure he doesn't either.

Now I've had "friends" that turned out to be pathological liars, and he
has even admitted to lying about his age (he likes older women), but swears he is now 20, and will be 21 in July. So, we have been talking on the phone, and online, and I keep becoming more and more intrigued. Now I am a fairly educated woman, and he "keeps up" so to speak intellectually in our conversations. I really like him. He lives 3 hours away, which is bad and good, and we are planning to meet at some point. I know this could have bad consequences, but since I've been talking to him, he seems very honest and real.

See above. Sure you had a few bad run-ins from the past, it doesn't necessarily make your new encounter like those.

This is something to know as well...He seems very knowledgeable about sex talk. I don't know if this is just from "online chatting, or if he really does have experience." I don't want to do something stupid, but I am SO intrigued, and he is interesting to me on many levels...we have even talked about trying out a relationship once we meet if things go well.

As someone who practically went through the later practically cybered in the early 2000's,, and before I had sex with my current partner, I can honestly say that you will pick up alot of ideas. Ask anyone who has cybered for years. Judging from how you're typing it, it seems you are serious and sincere, and praying deep down for a relationship. I wish you luck.

Here's the big thing...sort of...and he will say so himself: he lives with his mom and is out of work right now, and I cannot be a sugar momma, nor do I want to be (well, on a fantasy level I do, but...), and I like the fact that he calls me mommy...I really get into that sort of thing. I always felt like I was weird for having that fantasy, but it has never gone away...

Once again see above. He has little to no reason to lie to you about his current situation. Virgins in his predicament tend to be honest, perhaps too honest and seeking others to "feel sorry" for him. Normally I'd say, "He can fix it himself." But with the economy on a different tune, I can say it could be hard for him to get a job. So you wanna spoil your younger man? Go for it honey! Especially with his birthday going right around the corner. Why not ask what he wants? As for the "momma" thing, did you ask to be called "momma"? If so then he's most likely doing it to probably make you melt. Its just a fantasy so cut loose!

SO, I just don't know what to do, or even how to feel at this point. I have a lot of mixed emotions. Any ideas???

Life wouldn't be interesting if we all knew what to do. I think you should keep it to a level where you both can enjoy. He asks for sex, you replied to his Craiglist post, give it to him. He's young and inexperienced obviously. And by no means ready for a relationship or a commitment. Even if he says he is. But to be fair, that doesn't mean you can't try to have one. But if I were you, I'd stick to the original plan of casual sex because maybe he isn't the one you're looking for. As for how you should feel at this point, that is strictly up to you. Excited would be a good feeling, keeping a positive vibe could make things better for you both.