Why do I have to feel this way?

Why do I get so depressed and feel like I'm just waiting for the other shoe to fall. I love him so much and want to be there with him. I always have this feeling deep down inside that he's going to leave me and that maybe I'm just a passing thing for him until someone better comes along. He is so wonderful, kind and loving, so I don't know where this comes from. Is this a normal feeling with an OW/YM long distance relationship or am I just overly insecure?:o

I don't know how normal it is, but I can tell you that you don't even need to be long distance to feel all of that. I feel it too at times! :yes:

It is insecurity and I am no beacon of wisdom on how to get over it!

Whenever I feel that way I remember that people seek like people (or what we believe to be like people). So if he is wonderful and sweet and amazing then his counterpart, you, must be wonderful, sweet, and amazing.

Sweetie I feel it sometimes to..ITS NORMAL!! Like Angel said as well..we all feel it EVEN if it is not an LDR ( mine is still and SOON it wont be WOO HOO)
BUT i completely UNDERSTAND..been apart now for a little over a year and it SUCKS
I can't WAIT to get him off that plane and not have to see him go again and wait another year

HUGS SISTER!!!

To top it all off, plane tickets have sky rocketed. I had kind of planned to drive there, him flying here and driving with me, (2000+ miles), but gas prices have also sky rocketed. The money I was going to use for my part is tied up in the stock market and lost in value drastically.:(

The plan was to spend almost 6 months there if it worked out. Now I don't know what will happen. He has a full time job and I only have a part time one right now, so me going there is the most practical.

I can't work while I'm there because I won't have a visa.

Then there is a gal he works with. He keeps telling me they are just friends and that's all it will ever be. He's cooking for her and her kids tomorrow evening. I'm ashamed that I'm jealous and feel depressed that he's cooking for them and spending the evening with them. I also know that he has had an interest in her previously. She knows about me, but never met me when I was there.

[QUOTE=kilny

Then there is a gal he works with. He keeps telling me they are just friends and that's all it will ever be. He's cooking for her and her kids tomorrow evening. I'm ashamed that I'm jealous and feel depressed that he's cooking for them and spending the evening with them. I also know that he has had an interest in her previously. She knows about me, but never met me when I was there.[/QUOTE]

I don't blame you for being jealous. If I were in your position, never met his co-worker and being in a LDR I would be jealous too. All I can say is keep your cool, follow your instincts and believe in yourself. Believing in yourself is the only way to get what you want.

Lots of:bighug:

I read your thread yesterday but did not post, I have a hard time being open minded sometimes.

If I were you, I would not feel comfortable with him cooking for his friend and children. But then, that is me. I know my bf would not go out with other women and he would not like for me to cook for other men. But then, that is just us, different couples have different rules.

I read your thread yesterday but did not post, I have a hard time being open minded sometimes.

If I were you, I would not feel comfortable with him cooking for his friend and children. But then, that is me. I know my bf would not go out with other women and he would not like for me to cook for other men. But then, that is just us, different couples have different rules.

I'm very insecure anyway, but this actually kind of cuts to my heart. I've had so many bad experiences in the past that maybe I have a hard time getting past this.

Something like this always seems to happen when I start feeling really comfortable and at ease with the relationship and then I start having all these feelings all over.

I'm very insecure anyway, but this actually kind of cuts to my heart. I've had so many bad experiences in the past that maybe I have a hard time getting past this.

Something like this always seems to happen when I start feeling really comfortable and at ease with the relationship and then I start having all these feelings all over.
Your feelings are very valid and stop labeling yourself as insecure. You react as a result of past experiences as most living creatures do to. There will be times in your relationship, in the future, when you will know him enough to feel comfortable in these situations but that is not the case now. Maybe a constructive dialogue will help him understand.

Have you met him already? Or was this going to be your first time? LDRs are expensive. Chatting, camming, voicing, calling are free or almost free but being physically together is expensive and going to get more so. Can you afford it? Can you postpone the trip until you have saved more money?

I wish you good luck. Big hug to you.

Your feelings are very valid and stop labeling yourself as insecure. You react as a result of past experiences as most living creatures do to. There will be times in your relationship, in the future, when you will know him enough to feel comfortable in these situations but that is not the case now. Maybe a constructive dialogue will help him understand.

Have you met him already? Or was this going to be your first time? LDRs are expensive. Chatting, camming, voicing, calling are free or almost free but being physically together is expensive and going to get more so. Can you afford it? Can you postpone the trip until you have saved more money?

I wish you good luck. Big hug to you.

I've visited him 3 times in the last year. We webcam when we can occasional phone calls, he doesn't live in the US. I have to postphone the trip until I have the money. No choice there. He knows I feel really down, he tries to tell me there won't be anything happen, that he loves me. But the distance thing can be very hard for him too.

Thanks for chatting with me about it. Talking to someone else helps a bit.