The long haul

When I look at the big picture of the relationship I am in sometimes I get concerned about things that perhaps I should not. Things have been really great and for that I am extremely happy. I also feel her getting emotionally closer to me and that she is letting me in a lot more.

The age gap between us does not bother me, but I hope it never bothers her. In other words, I hope a day never comes where she feels that for my own good I should try to find someone younger who can have children and who I can grow old with, etc. I understand this concern and kindness, but at the same time I am happy with her. Another concern is that perhaps she may be told by others that I may find someone else and run off with them and leave her. Hence, she may think we are not for each other in the big picture. All this concerns me seriously, but I think she is strong enough to follow her own heart. She knows how much she means to me and has told me she is happy with me.

I know this situation is not unique to me and millons of others are concerned about it or have experienced it in their YM/OW or OW/YM relationships.

Another thing is money and security. I know I can't offer her a "better life" in terms of financial security, a big house, SUV, all that stuff that so many people mistake for true happiness. I don't think she wants that, but I get concerned that others may tell her how great all that could be if she found an older "successful" man who has done the children thing and is "set".

One of the many great things about her is that she accepts me for what and who I am. That is something that is extremely rare in this day and age.

Sorry to ramble. Any thoughts or comments would be appreciated. :yes:

With a gap as small as yours (7 years, right?) I don't think you have anything to be concerned about. 7 years is insignificant as we age, when you are 55 and she is 62, I can promise you, people will not notice any gap at all. And, you are technically in the same generation, so long term issues like retirement and providing a good life for each other, that too will level itself out as you get older. When you are in your mid thirties, you probably WILL be in a better position to plan for things like a nice home, vacations, retirement etc. But....most of us struggle with those things whether we are in our 20's, 30's 40's or 50's.....good planning and fiscal responsibility will help you provide a good life for yourself and your s/o! :)

How common is it to see couples with a 5-10 year gap...om/ym AND ow/ym? It is becoming VERY common. Your concerns are valid because you are feeling them, but to be honest, they are more applicable for those of us with a 15+ year gap. :) You may inadvertantly be adding to your gf's insecurites by thinking of her as an "ow" when she is statistically the same age as you are (women live an average of 7-8 years longer than men, so you guys are in a dead heat :p). Think of her as your girlfriend, you lover, your partner....and eventually the "ow" label will fade away from your mind...and hers!