I'm new here...and I'm facing - me?

I'm so glad to have found your site. I have questions that I think only those who have experienced this (or close to it) could offer. Perspective, I guess. I think that one of the most important things here, is that myself and "the other interested party" go into this feeling mainly ok about it. Not knowing the future, of course, I suppose you could say that about any new relationship. Well, having said that, this is not my typical "new relationship". I am 49, but when the subject comes up in day to day sorta conversation, I hear "You look 35 to me" all the time. Well hey, and Thanks!, GREAT! I Love It!!...however, there are more layers to what I ponder... the guy that I bring here with me (in my thoughts) ...is ....ok.....,wait a sec.....ahem,..... deep breath in ... ....ok here goes...19 years old. whew. It's difficult to say his age, type his age, look at it in print...I mean...I PAUSE before I say it, type it, etc...to me, these are manifestations of my reservations. But wait, there's more...the LONGEST pause is when I speak of the age gap --- I mean, OMG - 30 years!!! Now THAT'S hard to say, let alone fit into my head somehow. And, oh yea, the old BODY thing. It's not bad for MY age, but what about his expectations? Hey, I've been SOBER longer than he's been alive!!! The numbers seem way too high to me, and yet...? There is some good news, tho... We are much closer in our maturity level?? I'm very young. thinking, music, clothing, attitude (except for this, apparently) and he's very stable. He has a VERY good job that he loves, apartment, car, he's even FULLY insured!) Well, kind people, I think I've said enuff. I'd appreciate any direction, insight, whatever...if u need any more relevant info, i'll try to answer (not having a clue what you may ask...) Thanks, so much. Just reading around on this site helps!
-In keeping with the most important time in my life, I'll use the screen name :
"here&now"
p.s. I've cleared any and all baggage/guilt/watever on this, so there's no need to discuss this, but for some more numbers: My son (long time gone) would have been 31 y.o. in April of this year....yikes! **12 years difference there....now that IS a good one! :)...fer real... Well, I always was (still am) a person of extremes. And I've always loved the ridiculous. (I mean that in a good way) (and no - no other kids) Thnx! - here&now p.s. he says he ABSOLUTELY doesn't want kids...yes, I know that could change.

Little breathless are you? :p

Well, my oldest is 8 years older than my man. My youngest of my first bunch 'o kids is 5 years older.

He's even gotten a nickname from the grandbabies these days, he's "Fid", which is how the baby says David, and it's kind of stuck.

That teen thing does kind of make you choke on the way out, I know. But that's a temporary condition. Mine turns 25 in a few weeks. It was a big relief when I could say his age without that "teen" as part of it.

28 years. Not much different between that and 30. It's been pretty great so far. It really does depend on the people involved. Nobody, and I mean NObody, gave us a chance of lasting. I told myself that if I had 5 years of happiness with him, I'd consider myself blessed. It's been over 7, and still going strong.

Don't sweat the body thing. Some men really do see you through eyes of love. Thankfully, that seems to be like wearing glasses smeared with Vaseline in David's case. He wants the blasted LIGHT on, for pete's sake. blech. Not for me, but blech for him.

Hang around here, talk, join in, and welcome.

Thanks, Bella....Life is full of twists & turns, and sometimes zig zags and loop-de-loops, huh? thanks for your input - much appreciated. here&now

Sometimes it's not life doing the twisting, turning, zig-zagging and loop-de-looping. Sometimes it's US.

Slow down, take baby steps in the relationship, realize what your comfort levels are for different situations and when they arrive, enjoy yourself!

After years of having body-conscious issues I realized I'm more than just a body!!! Last weekend I went skinny dipping with some of my closest friends, got up onto the deck and used my Poi for our entertainment.

That's something I don't think I ever would be able to do with confidence if I wasn't with a partner that accepted and admired my body, regardless of his age.

Either the two of you will click or you won't, but only time, some soft pillows and mood lighting, will tell!!!!!!

:Pillow_Fight:

Sometimes it's not life doing the twisting, turning, zig-zagging and loop-de-looping. Sometimes it's US.

Slow down, take baby steps in the relationship, realize what your comfort levels are for different situations and when they arrive, enjoy yourself!

After years of having body-conscious issues I realized I'm more than just a body!!! Last weekend I went skinny dipping with some of my closest friends, got up onto the deck and used my Poi for our entertainment.

That's something I don't think I ever would be able to do with confidence if I wasn't with a partner that accepted and admired my body, regardless of his age.

Either the two of you will click or you won't, but only time, some soft pillows and mood lighting, will tell!!!!!!

:Pillow_Fight:



Excuse me for being naive but what is a POI? Whatever it is, I want one!

~LOL~ I was wondering the same thing, CG.

Excuse me for being naive but what is a POI? Whatever it is, I want one!

haha it's a...thing..that you twirl.

Here is an old video of me using them http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLUkbJWfI8Q

Oh my, I forgot this was on here...before anybody comments, I want to point out that it was a LONG day at the zoo, my kids had been going Maaamaaaa for a long time and a bird had pooped on my face about 15 minutes before this video, I had no patience left! lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMDvXtv2DdI

...to differentiate between them and the stuff you eat. They're "neater'n ****" as folks 'round here would say, and I've wanted to learn to use them since the first time I saw it done.

Back to the OP--relationships between adults are about the people involved, not their ages. If you share common interests, morals, ethics, spiritual beliefs, goals, etc. and just seem to "click" with this guy, then go for it.

Some people don't like it when those around them are happy. You can't change you enough to fix them.

I'd be lying if I told you that you will receive universal acceptance. People will react in their own manner, and some of them will not react positively. When I was 29-30, I lived with and was engaged to an 18 year old. We received a lot of strange looks & people made crass sexual comments to me. That was here in Smalltown, USA.

However, I dated a different 18 year old when I was 28, and we did not get strange looks or nasty comments. We were also not in the US (Sydney, Australia).

There's a ym in my life now--I'm 39 and he's 22. We aren't a couple, but have been mistaken for one. Nobody was all "ick" about it, and I'm back in Smalltown, USA. I think if the disparity in our ages was more apparent--a la "Harold and Maude"--we might have received a different reaction, but really and truly it's none of their dad-gum business.

Us women folk are good for more than making babies, you know. Some men actually like to talk to us and hear what we think.

Incidentally, no I don't "prefer" younger men. I just prefer men. In the intervening 10 years, I've been married to (and am now almost divorced from) a guy who's 4 years younger than me. After the marriage failed, I was interested in a guy who's 15 or so years older than me, then dated (briefly) a man who's 2 years older I am. In the past year, I met a guy who will soon be 67. If he asked me to dinner, I'd say yes in a heartbeat.

Silly me, I thought POI was a Hawaiian paste...:D

haha it's a...thing..that you twirl.

Here is an old video of me using them http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lLUkbJWfI8Q

Oh my, I forgot this was on here...before anybody comments, I want to point out that it was a LONG day at the zoo, my kids had been going Maaamaaaa for a long time and a bird had pooped on my face about 15 minutes before this video, I had no patience left! lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMDvXtv2DdI

Those poi things are great, I would end up whipping myself in the face and losing an eye if I tried that. I laughed hysterically when you ripped the map though and one child looked at the map and then looked at the other child and said, "well,you wouldnt, you didnt...well you would never give me the map" as if to say SEE what you did. hahahaha:p

sorry way off topic...carry on :hijacked:

Great video!! I must have been in a cave somewhere for the past __ years, cuz I've never seen them before! They look fun...I can imagine strangling myself with them...YOU got the MOVES!!
Thanks, everyone for your replies...you all make a lot of sense. I'm going to be smart about this..... "Mr. X" & I have just talked about getting to know each other better, and taking things easy until/or if things change between us. Slow is the word of the day for me. Lord knows that slow was never my forte, but these days, I'm not in a hurry to go anywhere. It's great the way it is right now. I will be coming back here probably daily, and look forward to getting to know you all! :yourock: - here&now

If you look younger than your age now, you'll probably look younger than your age when you're 70, too. One thing you know for sure about a younger guy who's attracted to a woman significantly older than himself is that he hasn't bought into the societal idea that beauty and sexiness are equal to (or at least require) youth.

When I was in my 30's, there was a woman who worked in another business on the same floor of our building who was in her 60's, and I thought she was the most attractive woman on the entire floor of the building, and I wasn't the only guy my age who thought that, either. If hadn't already been happily married, I would definitely have been interested in getting to know her much better.

I envy you...as well as all the other OW's in here that have a larger age gap than mine (39/22) (oh heck, all the OW's in here!)... a lot of days I ask myself "what am I doing?", then my sweet honey calls me or sends me a text (like he has radar!), and my heart just jumps. It's like he gets a feeling when I'm doubting or maybe he just thinks about me when I'm thinking about him... I don't know... but it's been a year and 4 months and I've never been happier in my life! :D

I told myself that if I had 5 years of happiness with him, I'd consider myself blessed. It's been over 7, and still going strong.


Bella, that's exactly what I tell myself when I'm talking myself out of going down this road.

Our difference is 14 years, not as much as the gap you and here&now are facing but still significant. In 5-10 years I may be ready for him to move on, who knows. I do think that when it's over he'll be a stronger more confident man because of my love and 5+ years of bliss is worth the roadblocks and potential heartache.