I'm putting it out there

This is sort of dumb little post and question, but I'm interested in what people think. I'm having a little get together tonight at my home, with people from the office. I live in a unique building and of course I'm going to have to give the "little tour" that you do when people are seeing your place for the first time. On my nightstand I have a picture of my boyfriend and myself. A few people in the office know there is a age gap, but not the width of it.

As I was dusting, it crossed my mind that it might be wise to put the picture away. I am their boss; not sure how it will be perceived. (You know this has been an ongoing issue.) But I'm bold right now. Hell, I'm almost outta there...let them gossip.

What do you think?

Leave the picture out!!!! :)

I think this really depends on how much you want your employees to know about your personal life. If it's about the age gap, fuggetaboutit and wear it proud!!!!

I have a pic of my boyfriend and I in my office and I really don't care what anyone thinks. But that's just me...

A few co workers have asked if that's my son, and I admit, I'm a bit naughty and thrilled to tell them its my boyfriend. The general response? "You go girl" lol. Be proud of your man.

He's your boyfriend and you'll be moving down to be with him in a month...leave it out...show him off, show off your relationship!:tongue2:

Okay, I'm usually in the "leave it out" crowd, but this is one time I'm going to say, "Put it away" if you believe you should.

Why? Because, like you said, you're outta there soon, but how will the remaining days to go? Will you risk adding to a stressful time with more stress? Not that doing this will. I have no clue, but I have a strong feeling you do. ;)

If you think you could handle it, no problem, I say go for it! But if you believe they would be unreceptive and it would make a stressful time of your life darn near unbearable (as the days get closer the emotions rise) then don't.

Me and Alex always come off as a pretty strong couple, but I'll admit that the last 3 weeks before he came here were terrible. We barely spoke, our emotions were all over the board, I went to the airport not expecting him to show up. :eek: (which is a story within itself from that day...his plane landed, he got lost on his way to the luggage terminal where I was waiting, and was almost 20 minutes behind the last person :eek: - I had stood up in tears feeling played, not sure to leave or stay when I spotted him wandering about obviously lost, lol). I always view that time of change in our life as "keep it as stress free as possible" and will remember that when we relocate!

So, sure I'd love you to proudly display it, but ONLY if you are ready to own the relationship with these people (who don't matter in 2 months but DO matter while you still work with them) and any consequences (or rewards, woot, lol) from owning that during a highly emotional time in your life.

I do not mean to play devil's advocate and feel horrible for doing so, but having read so many of your posts I want to make sure that Rozie makes this choice for herself and not some belief that you must follow X rules for this relationship to count. This lesson you have taught me in the most lovely way and I want to show support back by stepping outside of my norm. ;)

Either decision you make I fully support. :bighug: for the bravery you have shown in overcoming your fears since joining Ageless.

I think if you're just giving a quick little tour of your house....not that many people will honestly notice it or give it much more than a quick glance.

My vote is leave it out. :D

Nadine.

Angel I agree with you it is Rozie's choice, and it is a symbolic gesture. My thoughts are it is the ending of the old and the beginning of a new start, so start as you mean to continue, strong in your choice to have a different relationship and strong in the knowledge that you love each other very much and are on a journey. Leave it up as a sign of your trust in the relationship.

Well, Jesique wins!! I left it out and only one person noticed...lol. I appreciate the comments about making this as stress free a transition as possible. I have mentioned in some other threads that my situation at work over the last few years has not been the greatest, so there is some true wisdom in that line of advice. But part of what I need to do before I leave work is to achieve some sort of closure with some people who hurt me by engaging in some pretty unprofessional behavior behind my back.

It was sort of in a win, win situation. If I was open and left the picture out and then suffered some sort of repercussion from my partners, it would prove my point that I work in a place where decisions are based on gossip and personal bias. Since I'm leaving them, nothing to lose sleep over. I have exactly 4 weeks left. If I left the picture out and people were accepting, then its an encouraging thing.

Woohoo! I love to win! :D

I'm glad it went well for you Rozie!!! :D

Nadine.

Woohoo! I love to win! :D

I'm glad it went well for you Rozie!!! :D

Nadine.

:pppbbbttt: :D

:pppbbbttt: :D

:tongue2: :bgrin2: :bow: :angel:

Here's what I have to say to both of you. Behave!! Mama loves you both equally.

:Pillow_Fight::fryingpan::rollingpin::kfluffy:

Rozie, I know the event is over but I would think of it this way:

How would I feel if he had company coming over and hid my photo?

I guess I just feel that when we choose to date YM (I'm not at the moment), if we feel that we have to hide them, we need to think twice about the relationship.

SG, generally I agree with what you are saying. The problem here is not the relationship, but the work environment and whether I wanted to endure the gossip.

Why hide it, it is YOU.......There is NOTHING wrong with a relationship just because the people are not the exact same age!!! Leave it out always!

Hey, Rozie, I put up a picture of me and my "crush" at my previous work and we weren't even romantically involved...lol! I didn't care what anyone thought. I hate to admit this...but I even had one of our pictures up on my desktop on the computer! (Me 49, him 29...in the photo...I was 46, he 26).:D

SG, generally I agree with what you are saying. The problem here is not the relationship, but the work environment and whether I wanted to endure the gossip.

I hear ya, Rozie, and again, I'll say (with love and gentleness of course) that we need to choose to endure the 'gossip'.

Heh...also, since you're moving, I was thinking that it actually would have been a little amusing to leave behind a little gossipy tidbit! :)

Well SG, whether or not one chooses to endure the gossip depends on how caustic the work place is, not necessarily how they feel about their romantic partner or the relationship, is all I'm trying to say. I really am more forthcoming about our age difference these days. I admit that has taken some time and maybe longer than it should have. But in being open with even my own parents, I paid a price and it still hurts, although time has been smoothing things over with them. The question is whether or not they need to know anything about this man as I prepare to leave them. When people know you are seeing someone romantically, it naturally spawns curiosity. That I don't mind. When people make a judgement about one's job performance or professional choices based on conjecture or gossip about who they are dating or any other personal tidbit, well, that is just plain wrong. I've already endured some office persecution, just because one of my partners didn't like me. I don't want to go through that again...believe me. And in the end I had the support and backing of my remaining partner's, which is why I am still there and going strong. But, the discomfort of those days of him talking behind my back and trying to oust me because I wasn't one of the "good ole boys", still sting.

The flip side is, I love my YM and I do want to tell people all about him. Its a dilemma, and in the end, the picture did stay out. Maybe God was watching and made sure that only one person noticed!!

i honistly wouldn't hide it (the picture or the relationship) you have to be honist with yourself and others

i don't have an issue with my employees knowing i have an older wife, and if they attack it verbally i would tell them where they can go :-) but that's just me and my line of work allows a certain level of bluntness that other lines don't

i say if you REALLY think it will make YOU uncomftable (not them) then hide it, however a certain emotional strength is gained in being open and not careing what others think about an issue that is personal

Thanks Tourniquet. I thinks that's pretty much what everyone has been saying, so I'm happy with my choice. Its sort of sad that I even have to give a second thought to leaving the photo out.

Rozie, please know that I wasn't writing with a 'tone'. :)

SG, I didn't get a 'tone' from your post at all and I appreciate your input. I hope you didn't feel that I responded with one. Its just that I choose to be selective about who knows my personal business and the workplace is the problem. So even if I'd chosen not to display the picture it wouldn't have been because of shame or embarrassment and I don't think there would have been anything about the relationship to rethink.

Aww, thanks, Rozie. No, I didn't hear any tone at all. Just doing a self-check on my own 'tone'. :)


SG, I didn't get a 'tone' from your post at all and I appreciate your input. I hope you didn't feel that I responded with one. Its just that I choose to be selective about who knows my personal business and the workplace is the problem. So even if I'd chosen not to display the picture it wouldn't have been because of shame or embarrassment and I don't think there would have been anything about the relationship to rethink.