15 more sleeps...I'm feeling nervous....

countdown's begun in earnest and today I'm feeling a bit anxious.....unwelcome worried thoughts of meeting my family and friends and a bit nervous about how that will go. You see, it's been a VERY long time since my family or friends have seen me in a relationship....21 years to be exact. (Wow that IS a long time!!). I think I"m just having a momentary lapse into this worry and I know it's going to be just fine, it will be what it is and I truly am fine with that. I feel strong and good though I've been having some 'moments' since being back in my 'hometown' (over the last year I've been doing contract work in the far north and then in between only stopping here briefly while on my way to spend time near my man and travel) It seems being here again, especially spending time with my mother!!! (yea, that's a whole other story!!), brings on self doubt and fear shit. Aaahh the joys of peeling away the layers towards healing :rolleyes: It's good actually, I'm so much healthier than ever before. I just don't like it when this fear rears its ugly head. Apart from that I'm mostly really excited :bgrin2: and so is he. Maybe I'm feeling a bit anxious now because it's also the first time he's going to be in my country, culture and home space....and I"m curious if and how that's going to create a different dynamic for relating....also, as happens each time we are together again in person, we're going to talk about our future plans....

I get inspired and dosed with strength coming onto this site and reading your stories and comments. Thanks.

This is a very exciting time for both of you, and I can understand the nervousness and anxious feelings. It's a bit of a crossroads for all of you isn't it? I would just concentrate on having a wonderful time with your ym, showing him your country, and let your family and their thoughts and opinions be secondary. Why waste a beautiful opportunity to be with your young man to worry about others' opinions? Besides its only temporary and both of you get to go home and raise this future together. I wish you the very best......

Thanks Sharron...it helps to hear it from someone else so I appreciate your encouragement. It is a 'temporary thing' as you say, this visit. However, the thing is we don't know yet what we are going to do about living together..that's what we're talking about. He's still finishing up post grad school, will be done this Sept and he's been back living with his family (for support) and wants to get his own life back. He has been feeling badly about how little he has to offer me at this point in his life. I've told him it's okay, we can build it together. But I have to respect his needs and so that may mean waiting a bit longer before we are living together. But it's all wide open and I am too. I feel better today. :yes: Just staying in the present and remembering how good we feel together and how much love we both feel.

One of the things I find hardest about an LDR is the not being in contact to regularly affirm the feelings we have and the rightness of it all...there is definitely something to being together in person.