Something I've noticed and a bit of advice for YM

I look at these personal ads on this site and I've noticed that many YM load their ads with personal stats, i.e. I'm this tall, I have this color eyes, I'm well built, yada yada yada. Do these guys realize how unappealing this is to most older women? Most of the women actively posting on this site are fairly attractive from what I've seen of their pictures, so most women have probably had their pick, at some time, of hot young men. Not only are we not desperate, but we are also not all that interested in what guys look like. Been there, done that. We are interested in men of substance.

I don't know what prompted me to go off on this little rant, but if any YM are out there looking, this is not the way to snag an older woman, no matter how interested she might be in sex. An OW rarely will rarely go for sex without something more and sex is not going to be the thing that peaks her initial interest. In fact, ads like this scream "I'm a youngster!!" If you have to sell your looks, it makes me really wonder if you have anything else to contribute to a relationship/friendship.

Just some food for thought that I'm tossing out there.

P.S. Not looking for a guy, so don't PM me.

I think many of them are seeking to fulfil an older woman fantasy and think this is the place, of course a moments reading of the threads on here would quickly make them realise that it is a site for (mainly) serious discussion of relationship issues and not a place for sexual pick ups.

this seems to be the case

i have in the past spoken to 2 guys on here who initually posted personal ads, basically i wanted to offer them some support on their quest and both times the conversations turned to how they have either 1) a fetish for older women and 2) a desire for the older woman to take care of their problems and "make everything better"

now the first part isn't that big of an issue in of itself, i mean everyone has things they find attractive about a potental mate, however the single fact of a woman being "older" seems to be their main driving force

the second part, on seeking a woman to "make things better", of the 2 i have talked to from here, and of the people i have known in real life who fall into this catagory, they usually don't have a job and live at home, not to generalize or attack anyone in that situation but it seems to be common there, as well as their lack of desire to improve their situation before even attempting to find someone,

now i'm not saying that money should be a factor in dating someone, but having a partner who doesn't work, has no desire to and is well capeable of isn't really going to attract a possible OW

they also tend to focus all their energy on finding the OW and not on anything else which seems a little obsessive-compolsive to be honist

i hope this doesn't come of as an attack on anyone personally or offend anyone, these however do seem to discribe a fair majority of the guys who post personal ads looking for older women, both here and on other sites

I agree with her_man. I am also thinking they are ones that have that *older women* fantasy thing going on and when they do read up on stories here they realize it is very serious discussion on making our relationships work.

Most of us don't care how they look, how tall they are and so on. We care about how they will treat me, respect me and love me and if they are mature enough to handle it as well. I also am happy to say My ym does not care what others think and they have to be strong and YOU have to be strong enough to handle the age gap.

anyway THATS my two cents LOL

I think there are YM who definitely have the OW fantasy and since it's in vogue now, think it might be easier to live it out. But bottom line, I think guys are guys whether they're 16 or 60.

They just get a little better at disquising their fundamental biology as they get older and also know they eventually want more than just a pretty skirt. And the younger ones who "have substance" are still "just guys" underneath it. It's just the human drive to reproduce at the wheel, IMHO. I have yet to find any, even the nerdy ones, who defy this stereotype in the end.

Your mileage may vary.

Personally, I think it's really up to each person to describe themselves in whichever manner they prefer... it's a choice. That doesn't mean that it will have the impact or outcome they wish. If any YM wants to try to hook up with an OW by advertising their best features, well, I guess they can try.

Something that bothers me though is when I get a "let's be friends" message from someone who doesn't tell anything about himself in the "About me" section, doesn't initiate threads or doesn't post replies at all. He doesn't even describe himself physically for god's sake (this would be the least if he can't say anything else).

On top of that, if you accept to be his "friend", he doesn't even follow up on the "friendship". At the end, he's got nothing to say to you, only if you're the one initiating the introductions so that he can choose weather to keep you or not as a "potential friend". To be honest, I accepted one invitation even though I didn't feel it was right, I thought that I should give this person the benefit of the doubt, but a while after I deleted this "friendship" because there wasn't really one. I think he had sent invitations to dozens of OW members in a systematic way hoping to catch something sort of in a fishnet style. Come on ladies, we're not fish!

Well that has been the first, the only and will be the last time I accept that sort of invitation. You can only imagine what kind of person does this.

now i'm not saying that money should be a factor in dating someone, but having a partner who doesn't work, has no desire to and is well capeable of isn't really going to attract a possible OW

You know what, a YM/OW situation is getting more and more common nowadays. By the same token, I'm sure most of you know an instance or two of women who expect men to take care of their every single need since they don't work, have no desire, but are well capable of. Still, there are men who seem to be attracted to them.

Might as well take this as a sign that times are changing, and that women are being taken seriously in their role of breadwinners.

This is all interesting input. I'm rather curious about how it goes from the standpoint of the younger man. Do OW really respond to your ads?