New concept for me

Hi All. I'm new here. Wow! What a beacon of hope. I had no idea that the OW/YM was so prevalent. Makes me feel alot better about my recent experience and hoping someone can shed some light on this for me....
After ending a 7 yr relationship with a man 11 yrs my senior, I have been single and dateless for over a year. A few months ago, I met (and became friends with) a business associate who is 14 yrs younger than me. I've always thought he was incredibly attractive, but it never occurred to me that we could be more than friends. I've known that he has been in a rocky 2 yr relationship with a woman ... what I didn't know she is only 3 yrs. younger than me!
Now, looking back on his evening & weekend visits to my office (business, of course) ...our evening text sessions (more fun than business) ... his comments about 'her' being jealous of him working with me...all these things considered, am I out of line to wonder that he might be interested in me or is he just a nice guy? We share alot of common interests and we enjoy each other's company. The idea of a relationship with someone so much younger than myself is a new concept for me...albiet an exciting one!:bgrin2:
Here's the thing... I don't want to make a fool of myself and lose a friend in the process. How would I know if he is interested in more than just friendship? I don't want to mis-read his actions/intentions but I don't want him to think I'm not interested either. I would defintely wait to make sure his current relationship is truly over but in the meantime... any insight or advise would be greatly appreciated!

If a man born in the same year as you or a man 5 years older than you was saying and doing the same things as the YM you've mentioned, what would you think?

If you'd think he's interested, then there's a good chance that the YM in question is interested.

If you'd think he was just talking a good game, then the YM in question is probably talking a good game.

Just don't put your life on hold 'cuz you're waiting for them to break up or something goofy like that.

:)

Welcome aboard,
MM

Hi MM and Thank you!
Sorry, should have clarified one point... It's been almost 8 years, so unless a man is direct and just asks me out, it wouldn't matter what his age is... I'm pretty clueless when it comes to whether a man is being friendly. flirty, or interested. :o Definitely not planning to put my life on hold for this YM but I would be interested in him if his interest was mutual and we were both available.

Hi MM and Thank you!
Sorry, should have clarified one point... It's been almost 8 years,.
It has been 8 years since you last had a relationship?
Excuse me for asking, but I am not sure whether I understood that correctly (linguistically).
I think it doesn't matter how long ago your last relationship was. It is always difficult to figure out a man. :D:D *Redhead is quickly looking for a place to hide*.

so unless a man is direct and just asks me out, it wouldn't matter what his age is... I'm pretty clueless when it comes to whether a man is being friendly. flirty, or interested.
Welcome to the club. That is difficult for many women (including for me).

:o Definitely not planning to put my life on hold for this YM but I would be interested in him if his interest was mutual and we were both available.
Try to meet him for coffee or try to suggest something to him that you could do on the weekend. For example go to a museum. Most people who are not single whill then say "I am sorry, weekends are not a good time. My girl friend is waiting."
In general try to spend more time with him. Then you will find out.
The only way to find that out quickly is to walk up to him and to ask him bluntly. :bgrin2:

It definitely sounds as if he is interested in you, but only time will tell in what way. Let things happen naturally. That's always the best way. If there is romance in your future with him, I'm sure you'll know it soon.

Good luck and welcome to ageless!

Personally, I'd wait for him to end his "bad" relationship of his own accord and not b/c he met someone he likes better.
Just me.

Personally, I'd wait for him to end his "bad" relationship of his own accord and not b/c he met someone he likes better.
Just me.

Oh, sorry, I had overread the fact that he is still in a relationship. In that case I would definitely not make a first move as long as he is not single.

If a man leaves his girl friend, he should not do this for me, he should do it because he has realized why the relationsship does not work. If he dumps a woman for me, he might one day dump me for the next girl.

First off Before you even think about pursuing this with this man HE needs to NOT be in this relationship with this other woman. I am not trying to be a meanie, but do you honestly want to be the reason they break up OR the mistress??
You are very vunerable right now and he knows it...BE SAFE. IF he wants this with you HE will end it with her and get rid of his baggage (meaning pain of break up and past issues) before trying to date you...TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEART!!

YES he is interested...GO SLOW and no no to it till he does that :)

PS I love this place to! I thought I was alone in dating a younger man until I found this place!! I had no idea how many of us older women are in relationships with younger men..THAT are working!! LOL

best wishes to you!
meri

Thank you Ladies! Will keep you posted.
:grouphug:

this brings up an interesting topic.. that of monogamy or not. So if he's not in a monogamous relationship with this woman, then he might very well be interested in a relationship with you as well. If that is the case, then it depends how you feel about monogamy. That being said, (and believe me, I am in no way an expert on relationships!!!:no:) if he is in a monogamous relationship then I'd agree that it's better he end that relationship and begin another for the right reasons.....

Why not just be straight up with him and ask him if he's interested in you? Daring maybe, but hey, we're daring women!!! :ohyes: and really what's so wrong with just speaking it, even if we're mistaken, that should be okay though I know our society doesn't allow for such upfrontness, especially from women!!!! (and that's another interesting topic....)

Welcome!:wavey:

Try to meet him for coffee or try to suggest something to him that you could do on the weekend. For example go to a museum. Most people who are not single whill then say "I am sorry, weekends are not a good time. My girl friend is waiting."

Actually, I liked this idea a lot. I think that if he is not married, and not living with his woman, he is a definite maybe.

Bf/gf relationships have various degrees of "seriousness" and is up to you to discreetely explore what the situation is.

My own bf was in a dating relationship with a girl when we started chatting online. Nothing serious so it ended in a couple months.