EMCAD80
04-04-2003, 01:30 PM
Well I'm back to spill my life story :) It always makes good entertainment. Well last night I had to work till 9:00 pm. I was not looking forward to the drive home. It's an hour drive from San Diego to Orange County. So I decided to call D. I called the house and got his son. He told me he wasn't home. I was eager to call his cell....but his son asked if I had some time to talk. Being a troubled teen, I couldn't say no. So I sat and listened to his stories about being caught with alcohol, running away and going to places he shouldn't be. Little did he know that I already knew all of this. He also told me that he was going up to LA to visit his aunt for spring break. Wow...now that was news to me! I got excited! After talking to him for about five minutes he said he was done and he'll talk to me later. After I hung up with D's son, I call his cell. I asked if I could spend the night on his voicemail. I told him that if he gets his message in the next 10 minutes, to call me. I didn't hear from him in time - so I just started to head home. On the long drive home I got paranoid. Why didn't D tell me about his son going to LA! It's perfect for us to spend time together? Is he seeing someone else? Is he having reservations again?
I drove myself nuts!!
Well we hadn't talked to each other since last Saturday. Mainly phone tag messages. So I was really bummed to begin with. Then I'm on my monthly friend, so I'm all emotional. Five minutes before I reach my front door D calls. He said he was @ work at left his cell phone in the car. He said he was pretty bummed that he didn't get my message sooner. He said he really wanted to sleep next to me last night. My ears purked up and I got that happy feeling again. He said that his son was going to his aunt's for a week for spring break and that we could finally spend some quality time together!
Now I'm kicking myself....why do I jump to conclusions? The man has his hands full with a toubled teen, he has his own businesses that he has to worry about and I think he has time to see someone else!? He's too sweet. I feel like a jerk even thinking bad things.
We talked for a good 20 minutes, mainly about his son...but then it happened.....my light of hope for this relationship. Before we hung up he said "I want to tell you something." In a five second time span I felt 10,000 different feelings. At first my heart pounded wondering if he was finally going to say that he loves me, then I started thinking...he's probably going to say thank you for being so understanding with his life issues. Then my heart started pounding more....harder and I was so nervous. After kicking myself b/c I doubted his intensions, I started to think this is it, he's finally going to break things off with me for good. He can't handle it, why is he pushing me away. yeah, I really thought all of that in that five seconds of silence.
Now to make myself look like the ultimate bastard...he said to me:I just wanted to tell you that out of all the people I've been with, you are the best one to cuddle with . I love sleeping next to you I could tell in his voice he had a hard time say this b/c he is deathly afraid of our age gap. I wanted to cry because that was the first thing that he's ever told me that was hard for him say. Something that was meaningful and probably had an alternate meaning. I wanted to cry because I judged him not once, but twice on one phone call. But now I know that there IS something there and that there IS a light at the end of this long and very dark tunnel.
I drove myself nuts!!
Well we hadn't talked to each other since last Saturday. Mainly phone tag messages. So I was really bummed to begin with. Then I'm on my monthly friend, so I'm all emotional. Five minutes before I reach my front door D calls. He said he was @ work at left his cell phone in the car. He said he was pretty bummed that he didn't get my message sooner. He said he really wanted to sleep next to me last night. My ears purked up and I got that happy feeling again. He said that his son was going to his aunt's for a week for spring break and that we could finally spend some quality time together!
Now I'm kicking myself....why do I jump to conclusions? The man has his hands full with a toubled teen, he has his own businesses that he has to worry about and I think he has time to see someone else!? He's too sweet. I feel like a jerk even thinking bad things.
We talked for a good 20 minutes, mainly about his son...but then it happened.....my light of hope for this relationship. Before we hung up he said "I want to tell you something." In a five second time span I felt 10,000 different feelings. At first my heart pounded wondering if he was finally going to say that he loves me, then I started thinking...he's probably going to say thank you for being so understanding with his life issues. Then my heart started pounding more....harder and I was so nervous. After kicking myself b/c I doubted his intensions, I started to think this is it, he's finally going to break things off with me for good. He can't handle it, why is he pushing me away. yeah, I really thought all of that in that five seconds of silence.
Now to make myself look like the ultimate bastard...he said to me:I just wanted to tell you that out of all the people I've been with, you are the best one to cuddle with . I love sleeping next to you I could tell in his voice he had a hard time say this b/c he is deathly afraid of our age gap. I wanted to cry because that was the first thing that he's ever told me that was hard for him say. Something that was meaningful and probably had an alternate meaning. I wanted to cry because I judged him not once, but twice on one phone call. But now I know that there IS something there and that there IS a light at the end of this long and very dark tunnel.