Why Can't It Always Be Like Last Night

Ah the fabulous Friday!!! Larasteele you're gonna love this story. So Friday I called D after work and asked what he was doing and if he wasn't doing anything...maybe we could go out and do something. He called me back to let me know (datura81...pay attention!!) that his son hadn't left the house yet. He was going to stay w/ D's mom, and if he saw me there he would get jealous of me and want to stay home. (datura81....that's why I don't see my honey as often) Anyway, I was running some errands and D called me as soon as his son left. I got to D's house, closed my door and enabled my car alarm. Not two step into walking to the front door, D pokes his head out. :D He was waiting for me by the door. Till this point we hadn't see eachother in two weeks...and a day. So when I got to the front door, he let me in and we hugged..........and hugged.........then kissed............and kissed some more. It was wonderful to be in those arms again. Actually - on a side note - they were different arms. He's been working out.....oh my GAWD! His arms are so buff now....he didn't need it, but I secretly love it. Hee hee. Anywho, after a few minutes of uncontrolable hugging and kissing, we went upstairs to his room. We were both tired, so we ended up taking a nap. And we slept cuddled so closely I couldn't tell who's body was who's. It was great...being tangles up together. :) :D After waking up we took a shower......uh...together....*devil horns popping out* and got ready to go to dinner. Little did I know that we had slept for a while. It was already 8:00....looked like a late dinner. So we finished getting ready, hopped in the car and headed for downtown San Diego. On another side note....I love going places in his car...everyone looks at us. He drives a Jaguar XK8.....p.s. don't make woopie in this car unless your really small...say like 4'11" (hee hee...that's me). So he wanted to take me to this new hotel that just opened up called the W. This place was crazy. San Diego has never seen anything like this before. You walk in and there is a bar, sofas, love seats and coffee tables every where. There were t.v.'s, lights and a DJ creating the atmosphere. The blues really brought out the soft whites of the place. Everyone who's anyone is there. It's where the 'beautiful people' come to play....we blended well :p. Little did I know that this party area we were standing in....was the LOBBY! It was crazy! So we took it all in...then we moved to the second floor. Yes there is more to this madness. Before you can go upstairs, you have to pour your drinks into a plastic cup. Oh, this is the top floor of the lobby, the tower of rooms was next to it. So here we are on the top floor of the lobby. You wouln't believe it....IT'S A BEACH!!! There's sand...did I mention it was heated sand! Yeah...I KNOW!! Tables, chairs, heat lamps, two bars, cabanas and the bright lights and big city of the GASLAMP. It was a cold and crisp night, but extreamly romantic. We couldn't keep our hands off of each other....can you blame us, we hadn't seen each other in two weeks! We finished our ****tails and continued on our Downtown adventure.

Next we found ourselves in "our" wine bar. More ****tails and great conversation. MerALove this is where I brought up:

I like you for you, not for your age. You weren't looking for someone younger, nor was I looking for somone older...we just found each other and connected.

By the look on his face, I could tell that really ment something. All we talked about all night was how much we missed each other, how well we fit together and how great the evening was. We fed each other our snacks at the bar. We stared at each other knowing that we both have emmence (sp?) for each other. It was fabulous...feeling like a million bucks!

After the wine bar, we took one of those rides....you know the ones where you sit in a little cart while a guy pulls you along by his bike. Like I said, it was cold, so we were cuddled pretty closely...almost as close as when we took a nap. We headed to the other side of the GASLAMP (downtown) to have dinner. Again, feeding each other, more ****tails and great company.

But I must say the best part of the night was being able to go home with him and falling asleep next to that wonderful man I call MINE :) :D

Then even better....I woke up next to him.....so to reinstate my question: Why Can't It Always Be Like Last Night?

We stayed in bed till about 9:00, then he had to get up and pick up his son....and I had to leave. datura81 that's where I get sad and jealous. But nothing or no one can take away the fabulous times we share.

Thanks for reading about my Fabulous Friday!!

~EMCAD

Emcad....


I'm happy you used that comment with your OM... I hope it worked for you both... You seem like a very nice woman and you deserve the best....... You both need to sit down and come to terms with your relationship... I think it's time he talks to his son........

but whatever you decide... Just YOU be happy... :-)

His son had a HUGE episode a week ago and said some very hurtful things to my sweetie...Lord knows he didn't need to hear those hurtful comments. He does everything for his son and gets crapped on!

On the flip side, D told me that his son must of realized how hurtful the comments were, because he has been really good lately. :eek: Shocker!!! However, I don't think now is the time for him to have a heart to heart sit down talk for D and his son. They are spending good quality time together. His son is jealous of me...probably as jealous as I can get too.

He's almost done with eigth grade. D listens to Dr. Laura a lot. According to her, single parents shouldn't date till their kids hit high school...now I don't know about that, but D feels she is right. So a few more months and we'll see how things go.

After last night, I'm okay with the way things are...and I'm actually happy ;)

Thanks Mer...you, Happy, and Lara have been my rocks...from the bottom of my heart.....THANK YOU!

I don't invest a horrible ammount of attention in Dr. Laura or Dr. Phil, or any of those "Doctors". Dr. Laura is the last person who should talk about family values. From what I understand, her mom was dead a few days decaying in her appartnment, and she was too busy to go check up on mom. So, for that (true or otherwise) I don't invest my attention in her. Dr. Phil, he just looks like a moron and doesn't sound too much better than that.

I see those guys pandering to a lot of social norms. I agree that the needs of the children should almost always come before the needs of the significant other, but this does not mean that you should not see anyone because your kid doesn't think its right. And it definatly shouldn't mean that he shouldn't do whats good for him because of what some bonehead who's getting paid $100/hr to spew bogus advice.

I remember when my parents were divorced, I didn't like my dad's new girlfriend and I didn't like my moms new boyfriend, but eventually I got over it. I still don't hold my dad's girlfriend in high regard, but thats for deeper reasons than she's my dads new girlfriend.

My girlfriends' kids talk a whole lot of shit to her sometimes, and they say some pretty hateful things. I know its hard to take for my sweetie, and its even harder for me to take, and it isn't even coming at me. He's lucky in that his kid is still 13 and, with any luck, he'll figure out not to say the hurtful things any more.

In closing, I'd like for you to remind you hombre that his child needs to see a good, healthy, stable relationship in the works and as its happening. One nasty trend is that kids end up in relationships just like their parents were in. And, no offense to him or his ex-wife, but their relationship went defunked as they are divorced now. Maybe gradually giving his son expoosure to your life will help him create a better mold to set after when he becomes of dating age.

I think i've said enough here, but we'll find out. I'm spreading like a disease on this side of the fence. . .just keep the weed killers off of me. . i've got sensitive skin :)

Take care, and again best of luck. And, yes I know what its like being apart for so long. The longest time i've been away from my sweetie is 5 days and I can't handle it, it hurts a lot to not be around her. So, I can definatly appreciate where you are coming from when you long for every night to be the same as the night you just recently experianced. Keep the memory close to you, and dream for it and it may happen.

Steve

Me...I'm a shortie! I'm 4'11" and a half...the half I hold near and dear :)

As stated in my previous post, I hold Larasteele, Happy4Me and MerALove near and dear to my heart, seeing that they have done nothing but shed light in my life as well as hope and love. Tall Guy...your now on that list. It means a lot to me when people take the time to identify with my posts and share their knowledge. Thank you :)

I most certainly agree about the Dr. Phil/Dr. Laura thing. You can only imagine my frustration when he says:Age gap relationships are normal....just ask Dr. Phil/Dr. Laura/Dr. Drew This drives me mad!!! I can literally pull out my hair thinking about it. My defense, which is damn good, is:When you call into these talk shows/radio shows, these "Doctors" here two minutes of your life and judge you by a phone call. As usual he always has a come back: But they study these things and know stats. You know what I say SCREW STATS!!! Who knows if your in the minority of those stats. Do they live your life, do they wake up every morning and truly LOVE the person they wake up next to. I HATE (I know it's a strong word) but I reall do HATE people when they live their lives through society....I think that's D's only flaw. It's clear how happy we are together, why can't he just accept the fact! Grrr!

I remember when my parents were divorced, I didn't like my dad's new girlfriend and I didn't like my moms new boyfriend, but eventually I got over it. I still don't hold my dad's girlfriend in high regard, but thats for deeper reasons than she's my dads new girlfriend.

Same here, but I did accept my mom and dad's new found happiness. I didn't have to like, but I did have to live with it. Those are just the hard truths of growing up.

In closing, I'd like for you to remind you hombre that his child needs to see a good, healthy, stable relationship in the works and as its happening. One nasty trend is that kids end up in relationships just like their parents were in. And, no offense to him or his ex-wife, but their relationship went defunked as they are divorced now. Maybe gradually giving his son expoosure to your life will help him create a better mold to set after when he becomes of dating age

Now that is good advice if I've ever read it...now how to implement that into a conversation....turning of wheels. Oh, becomes of dating age?! Please!! The kid isn't a virgin....:eek:
As for exposure....when he does see me and D together, he sees nothing but love because that's all we ever show each other.

You're very welcome to post here....no weed killing over here. Just willing and eager ears :) Post as much as you want...I love it...even at one o'clock in the morning...happy to know I'm not the only night owl ;)

Thanks again

Because in about 55 minutes we're going to see a miraculous jump from 1:59am to 3:00am in the blink of an eye. Kick *** eh.

Anyway, i'm glad you appreciate the words that are comin outa my fingers.

As for the kid not being a virgin. . shit they start younger and younger these days. I was. . nm that. . but shit man. . .he's 13. Oil well. Ha, I remember in middle school where that was the milestone and the right of passage into manhood. *sigh* so little do they understand eh. But, I still stand by what I said in that he does need a proper roll model, and I see no one better to provide him that than dad and dad's new girl :). It'll help him understand a lot of important concepts.

Remind D that there are statistics on everything. Baseball is a game of statistics. Without the stats, we wouldn't be paying people $20 million/season to wave a stick around lol. But, just because statistics are out there doesn't mean you have to become a statistic. And, on the same token, doesn't mean you have to live by them.

I should add that I ultimatly accepted both my parents' happiness, and my mom's boyfriend I came to look upon him as a father figure. Now, i'm not sayin D's lil squirt is gonna look upon you as a new mom, but hopefully he will give you the respect you need. I don't know too much about your situation, and therefore don't mean to imply anything negative.

*sigh* Another night in paradise eh

Steve

I'm visiting my mom right now (hence the appearance on the weekend) she lives in Chino...ever heard of it? You probably have...the PRISON! Yeah, among that there are a lot of dairies (sp?...looks funky) and with those you get lots of cows and horses....you know what comes with that! The crisp morning air of..........POO! :p

Now, i'm not sayin D's lil squirt is gonna look upon you as a new mom, but hopefully he will give you the respect you need. I don't know too much about your situation, and therefore don't mean to imply anything negative.

I know his son likes me...I think he thinks of me more as a pal. He even emailed me for my phone number....in case he has any "questions" LOL He does show me respect, but none for his father when I am around...I hate that. Apparently, he's only like that when someone else is around. Hence me not seeing my honey that often. I hoping its a phase....praying! His mom has really screwed him over. I'll have to find the post where I explained everything...then link it in another post here. It's just too sad and too long. But the story basically states that his mother is a dead beat and shouldn't be allowed to have children.

My girlfriends kids both get along well with me. Her eldest and I are good friends, and her youngest and I are. . well thats tricky. More than friends but at the same time not close personal? I dunno, tricky :)

I'm glad the lil guy atleast respects you. . and I've come across my fair share of whacked out parents who should never have had kids in the first place. Then there are the kids who are walking justifications for birth control lol. I'm gettin goofy, the time is catching up to me

Steve

So lets see how long this will take to explain. D's ex up and left one day with his employee...and 18 yr old pizza boy (hence the fear of our age gap) His ex left with almost everything, but most importantly...left with his son! No good-bye, no nothin'! One day a few years down the line, his ex shows up at his door step and says she can't handle their son any more. Already a red flag for motherhood failure. I tell ya - I don't know the woman, but I hate her for what she is doing to her son.

Anyway, he's been with D for nine years now. D has been nothing but wonderful to his son. But his son is a troubled teen due to his mother's lack of parenting. She used to live a half hour away from them. Yet she would only see him during craft fairs she would sell her things at. Even then she would bark at him I'm working...go play and leave mommy alone. She would see her son once (maybe twice - on a good month) for a few hours....not even paying attention to him.

About a year ago she moved four hours away...yeah, likes she's ever gonna see him now. Well, he did...last spring break. He went to visit his mom and step dad for a whole week. They live on a farm. She made him get up every morning at 4am to shovel cow poo...what a thing to do on your spring break. I remember him calling D everyday and vice versa. When he came home, I let them have their quality time.

September rolls around and his son starts eigth grade. Phew...that's when it all started...with the alcohol and pot. His mom really didn't care. She did, however, get his hopes up one December day. She said she had a show in San Diego. She wantd to pick him up after her show and take him home for the weekend. He got really excited and D even offered to pick him up!!! Amazing what this man will do to see his kid happy...what parent wouldn't....his ex, that's who. His son had previous plans that he couldn't break because his mom gave too late of notice. He asked if she could wait till six that evening. She never returned his call and he was at the house, bags packed and all...and never heard from his mom.

A few weeks past and he got a call from her. Again, she got him all excited yeah, mom really does care! When she got her son on the line she passed him to his step dad. Before you read this...keep in mind that a teenagers mind is very fragile.

Step Dad:Your mother and i want to know what you want from Christmas.

L: I don't know

Step dad: well your not getting sh!t because your a spoiled brat and we want nothing to do with you

Obviously there was more to this conversation, but that's the basic idea. With out a doubt his poor little heart was crushed. Who wouldn't be. And he just started taking steps to getting better. Then his mom and step dad pull this crap. He fell back and went back to pot and alcohol.

That Christmas he spent with his grandmother and aunt on his mom's side. She later called him and told him HE was the reason why her family hated her. What an evil *****...excuse me...but when it comes to children...ESPECIALLY your own, you just don't do that!

A week later he received a card in the mail...very genaric and no note, just signed with a check for $100. L ripped it up and sent it back. He since then can't seem to stay out of trouble...he hasn't heard from her since.

Seems mad cow disease hasn't only hit the cows. . .seems to have hit the cow owner too. Man, I dunno who's worse in that situation. . the mom or the step dad for saying that he wasn't gettin nothing because he was spoiled. I don't care how spoiled the kid is, that kind of stuff isn't right. Mesa thinkin Mesa gonna have to go kick this mad cows ***. Poor L, and I can now see why things are difficult. *sigh* I dunno, people lik her don't deserve to live amung the upright. I wonder if she moo's when you kick her in the ***? Fun to think of nonetheless. D is lucky to have someone like you to be able to "fall back on" to make his day turn rightside up. And, i'm glad L has atleast 1 good parent and 1 good female role model. *sigh* my heart hurts after reading that one.

Steve

It's hard for me because i wish i could do more for the poor little guy. He thinks D doesn't understand, which could be true in some areas. He does talk to me about some things, but I can't do much. I'm not his mother, nor am I there as often to help out.

I like that D tells me all the things that go on, it makes me feel apart of his life. Like he confides in me...honestly, I know I calm a choatic day.

It just sucks that L has to live through this...no kid should have to.

My girlfriends youngest tells me a lot of stuff, and if its something I don't approve of, I atleast make sure she's doing it safely. And, if its something illegal I pass it off to Lady to handle. I'm not here to be the cop, but at the same time I am here to try and keep the peace. It makes me feel good that she comes to me if she needs something, because both her kids know if they ever need anything from me they know they can come ask me. There is very little I wouldn't do for either of them. But, then I guess that happens when you become part of the family. I think some of the friction that happens between me and her kids is that i'm so close to their age, and I think that kinda weirds them out a little bit. But, there are certain things that people have to get used to in life. I can't become chronologically older, as much as it'd be nice and cool to do so. . it just isn't possible.

As with you, I am not their father. Sometimes I kind of feel like it though, like a pseudo-dad or a stand-in or whatever, but I know I can never take the place of the real thing -- as sad as that is. I didn't have the best growing up period myself, but I do know that I would not be the same person I am today if all that stuff didn't happen. I just hope whatever L learns out of this will shape him into a better man as he ages. This is my hope, and i'm sure D's prayer.

Steve

I think it's D's fear of L's experience that will not allow him to become a great young man. I sometimes fear it too, but then I think back and remember that i did a lot of those things too...they just happen to start ealier now a days. I would like to think that I turned out okay.

But these are the reasons why D wants to spend so much time with L...to let him know that he IS a FATHER FIRST! Which I don't mind taking things slow in order for their lives to mold and shape into what they need to be.

He is a father first, not just a father. I'm glad you're willing to hang on, he must be a great guy thru and thru. You should have him come here and post so we can interogate him. . I mean get to know him better :D

I wish you and yours all the happiness May/December relationships can offer

Steve

I print out threads for him to read, but he says the opinions are bias...well duh! It's an online SUPPORT group! I try to get him on here, but his life is too busy. The closest I got was him actually reading a thead online and not a printed version. I think things will come around. I am a positive thinker......I forgot what I was going to type...damn daylight savings! when in doubt blame it on the time change!

yeah yeah yeah!! three cheers for excellent times!! SOOOOOOO very happy to hear this!!

and i had a good time with my guy this morning by the way...not AS fabulous as yours, but he makes everything fun when he just lets go and lets things happen...


sooooo....good, no, GREAT weekends all around:D :D :D :D

toe tappin', heel kickin, roll on the floor good times!!! But as stated before my friend....I'll always want MORE. I get greedy with him...I don't want to share D...he's mine MINE all MINE!!!!

hee hee

Girls Girls .... You are to funny.....I am glad you both are happy......... Just keep it real.....


I say the same thing about how come it can't always be like last night.... We live together and it's the same day in and day out.... except the other night we laid down to sleep and he held me and said softly into my ear that he loved me and lets make love... OMG i got shivers all over.....

Why can't it always be like that ... :-(

Doesn't lifes interruptions suck! That's what it is...if it were me and my sweetie and you and your honey - the world wouldn't even exist. It would, but we would be oblivious to it. Unfortunatly, there are kids, businesses and just life in general butting in! If it were D and me against the world....we would win because we would have each other.

I hold Friday night in my heart so close and wait till the next time.

~EMCAD

p.s. I love the shivers too

Hey EM~
Thanks for the shout-out, I do pay close attention to your posts because I know you have a similar situation, except you're further ahead. Up til this point my OM has been able to live like an (almost) single guy, so I know things are gonna change a lot when his son moves in. I don't want to be put on the back burner, and I also worry that if his son decides for some reason he doesn't like me, he would make it difficult for us to be together. Right now I think he does like me (sigh of relief) although he does get in his clingy moods where I can see he gets feeling a little jealous of dad's attention to me. I don't want him to see me as the enemy, after all we're not exactly vying for the same role here. He wants dad to be happy, I want dad to be happy, but the negotiation of the details obviously worries both of us. I hope things will get easier as time goes on and we get more accustomed to each other's presence, and I like what TallGuy said about the positive impact of seeing a healthy relationship. Not that his mother and stepdad are unhealthy, but they were in counseling before they even got married, decided to tie the knot anyway, and continue to bicker constantly, which upsets/annoys Dylan. Plus they just had a baby a month ago. He's rather sensitive and I think he wants the relative calm and quiet of living with dad and a sometimes-there girlfriend, and I can't blame him. I'm sorry D's ex-wife sounds so self-centered and disinterested in her son's feelings. That's a sorry excuse for a mother, and it's not surprising that he's acting out negatively. It's the hardest thing in the world for a kid to feel like their parent can abandon them and not even care, it makes them feel like there's something wrong with them, and different kids have different ways of reacting. Some, like one I knew, overcompensate and hide the pain by becoming straight-A, straight-and-narrow uber-responsible miniature adults, and others, like D's son, seem determined to fulfill the prophecy of the inadequacy they feel due to the absent parent. It's tough, and I really hope that D (and you too) can help him to someday see that it's not his fault that his mother is a flighty, heartless ***** so he stops wanting to self-destruct. Look at me, rambling on, while your post was about a heavenly date! Sounds good to me, and kudos to your man for still showing you the romance and adoration you deserve even during a tough time. It's quality of time, not just quantity, right?- and your night sounded 100% pure platinum. Happy freakin' Monday everybody. :)

I don't want to be put on the back burner, and I also worry that if his son decides for some reason he doesn't like me, he would make it difficult for us to be together

I have been put on the back burner, but I agreed to it. L does make it difficult for me and D to be together...but I keep reminding myself there is a child who needs guidence and his only hope is his father. I wish I could be selfish and b**chy so I can have him all to myself...but I can't do that to a 13 year old boy.

In your situation - which sounds much better than mine - it's work out, build a good relationship with him. You'll go through hard times, but I think ultimatly it will work out. :)

All the best
~EMCAD

HUGS! Your Friday night sounded wonderful!! I just hate it for you that you have to go so long without seeing each other; that you have to wait it out. At least, if nothing else, that makes the time that you do spend together even more precious and wonderful.

Also, reading your posts reminds me of how thankful I should be that B is the person that he is. He has FOUR children. Two are from his first marriage (they are in their 20's) and two are under 10. The under 10's are at our house on Wednesday evenings and Friday & Saturday evenings. Luckily, for me, they have accepted me and B has been very open about our relationship. (Although, when I first moved in, I slept in the "guest room" when they visited...now I just sleep in our bedroom. They aren't stupid and thought it was really weird that I would sleep in the guest room rather than with their dad. One of them even asked me if I slept in another room because of their dad's snoring!) B has pretty much told them to accept the fact that their parents are divorced an in love with other people. He openly tells them that he loves me and that we are together and that they can accept it and live happily or they can not accept it and miss out on a lot of fun.

I PRAY that you guys will eventually get to that point. Being evasive and not allowing children to acknowledge that parents have needs and desires and personal lives usually has a less than sparkling out come. Also, keep in mind at his son's age, he is going to be constantly challenging his father for the next few years. At that age, you suddenly realize that your parents are human, they don't know everything and they fall from that pedestal. It happens all throughout the animal kingdom! (That's why some animals eat their young. Ha ha ha).

You are so good at being patient with your man and being supportive and hanging in there. Keep bolstering, loving and being non-judgmental. He should love you all the more for it once this storm has passed!

As always, wishing you happiness & joy,
much love,
Happy

I'm trying...his son can be a pain...but he's such a sweetie at the same time. I don't know where this will lead, but my heart tells me it's something good. It might hit a few bumps in the road, but I think we can hold tight and get through it...together.

Well, according to B (yeah-he-knows-everything); the more challenges we go through, the stronger we become. So maybe this will apply to you.

Otherwise, the next time the kid acts up, drag him outside and whip his *** in a game of basketball or something. ROFL. That's what I do with B's kids. If they start being shits I'm all sweet and like "Hey, let's go play some basket ball." Then I trounce them (it's not hard. They are both under 10 :o ) and we've all worked up a sweat and gotten rid of a lot of aggression. Tee hee hee.

ROFL. (sigh) I don't know what you can do other than hang on for dear life. ;)

Love,
Happy

yeah right, L would kick my butt in sports. D has him in boxing right now...w/ my luck he'll want to punch the crap out of me :eek:

I think we are becoming stronger...i a weird way, but I'll fight till the end :)

Ummmm....yeah! Probably not a good idea;) ROFL! Poor Em, black eye and knocked out!!!