Families' opinions and thoughts

How did your parents/children react when they found out you were have a relationship with someone much younger/older? Were they ok with it? If not, are they ok with it now? What were their thoughts?

This is a recurring question and theme around here, I've noticed.

Personally, as it stands right now, my Mom and Dad know I'm dating a guy...I mentioned that he is "a bit" older...but my Mom is a sharp cookie, she knows if I mention a guy to her, no matter how casually I do it, that he matters...or potentially and hopefully could matter. Plus she proably can guess that he is more than a little bit older--again, I mentioned it, it is important. I'm very quiet about my love life as a general rule. I would be keeping them just as much in the dark at this stage if he were my same age...my love life is private, and I don't introduce guys to my parents until I'm sure its going somewhere. But thats just me.

When I do--if I do--get the chance to introduce him to my parents, they might not approve. This bothers me a bit, but my mom knows that I live my own life; I am my own woman. Her opinions count--more now that I am older and a bit wiser--but I make my own choices based on what is right for me.

This too is a recurring point made: be your own person. Prove to those who love you, your parents and family, that you ARE your own person. Prove it in actions; they will eventually respect your choices, whether they approve of them or not.

Which is not to negate the impact of their words and deeds. Family counts; their opinions and words go deep into the heart of us. Just look at my guy, who-as I stated in another post-hears from his parents that I am a lovely, intelligent GIRL...but soooo young. Its up to him to do what he will do with their opinion...its up to us to decide what to do with our lives, love-life or otherwise.

Hope this helped, or answered your question, or made some small degree of sense!

My parents went totally psycho, called the cops, called the priest, and spent hours on the phone begging me to ditch him. About 24 hours later they were fine. It was the weirdest turnaround ever, but now they think that the bf is a really great guy. Go figure!

Have a better one!

Felix

Felix! Oh my gosh! You poor thing. What an experience!!!

Well, I am very open about most things I do. At first, both of my parents exhibited concern. They didn't give me ultimatums or demand I quit seeing him; after all, I've been married once already and I'm hardly a starry-eyed school girl!

Once my mom realized that I'm am REALLY happy and secure with B; once she realized that he had nothing but my best interests in his heart, she relaxed and they are really great buddies now.

My father has only recently started to warm up to him. My dad was a real sh*t about it at first, but he was afraid for me, worried and thought he could be a bully. Guess he forgot that he raised me to have a mind of my own. Ha ha.

It has all turned out really well and no where near as badly as it could have been.

Good luck,
Happy

Yeah, it wasn't particularly fun for a couple of hours, but afterwards I was just laughing so much at the scale of their over-reaction. Although, I'm glad they were concerned rather than not caring - fortunately I have good parents. Anyway, I guess on the whole it worked out the best it could have done.

Have a better one!

Felix

Welcome to the boards :)

Well, they knew about my "friendship" with D. I lied at told them he was 32 (when he was 38)....they saw pictures and believed me. He really does look that much younger :D But when we started dating I told my mom the truth...she said she knew all along .... mohter's how do they do it!? lol

My father...I had to figure out a way where he didn't think D was a perv or anything like that. It was funny how it happened....he called me at work to tell me how great his date went. I asked all my normal questions. Personality? Job? Kids....and now (more important than ever...age? My father is 46 and was dating a 29 yr old. I said...she's 17 years younger than you? He hesitated - thinking I was disapproving....and he blurted out a Yes. I laughed and said that's funny because D is really 38 and he's 17 years older than me!

My dad was quiet for a second and said (same as my mother) as long as your happy, I'll be happy for you. Even if they don't like it - which they are okay with it, but that's their motto for me.

:) Best of luck :)

At first I got smart remarks from them... but they met him and they liked him then they just want me happy...Now I think they like him more than Me lol