Thanks

Thanks for the warm welcome.


I hope to learn something from this .


prince

...a warm welcome from whom???? (but I will extend you one!)
and you hope to learn something about "this" ???? This as in what exactly??? (damn pronouns without antecedents).
AND am so glad that you are once again using your name instead of the stupid symbol!!!! :D

I would like to understand what the big deal about age is ?
I am under the impression that age was just a number ? In ref to the age gap in a relationship. Older women younger man isnt maturity and intellegents the controlling factors not age?

Thank You ....I'll keep using my name the symbol got old. LOL

Prince

So.. I've noticed how much effort is put into looking at ow/ym relationships here... and seems like a lot of very smart people have something to say.... though I dont totally agree with a lot of it. I'd like to hear less about why its ok to be the way we are and more about the 'bad' or 'nasty' or 'good' ways we look at our desires and relationships... how about some history from some of the senior members? Up to sharing some of your past experiences.. including the ones that may make you look bad? It would be refreshing.

I admit that the reason for my attraction to older women is mostly very much a fetish or taboo idea... and I like it that way. I've only had a couple experiences with older women.. and they were both pretty playful relationships.. nothing serious. We both enjoyed it. I was sort of stuck relating to the frist one on only a sexual level... so of course that ended... the other.. well.. we had more in common... and it was very interesting. I felt like I was with a tantric master who could play me like a piano. I was sad when that one ended... but then again.. I had some big life changes to make. Anyway...

I'd like to know how you look at yourself knowing you love something not really accpeted in most circles. :eek:

...and you are right about age in relationships. It is just a number. However, intelligence is always a BIG factor as well as maturity, but both emotional and spiritual. So what has been your experience regarding it thus far, Prince???
Now with that said..... May I ask why you chose that quotation? AND I will give you a hundred dollars (in monopoly mone, of course) if you can tell me just who Jeanne Moreau is and why she made that statement! (no cheating via a net search!)

AND sheesh...had to jump back and edit this, as the post that is right above me, does not really follow this thread I don't think.... grrrrrrrr..... why the heck is that here???? Looks like you are "bogg(ed)" down with some pretty heavy and negative thoughts and ideas....

It may seem like it....

being bogg-ed down by negativity is a real pain... then again I may not be the one looking at my ideas in a negative light. But please... the reason I shared so honestly is that I'm honestly interested in knowing how others feel and look at it.

share with me baby....


Bogg(ed) :confused:

My ex was 11 years older than me and we stayed together for 8 years. but it wasn't the age gap that was the difference in our break up as it was our maturity level. we both contributed to the departure but looking back had we been closer in age we might of had a better chance in making it last a life time . That question has me wondering.

the lady in question is a screen actress and is instrumental in women activist.......love last a life time and is ageless there for protecting you from age.........her statement is true.


Don't you agree?

Welcome, Prince, it seems you opened another thread for the same subject, but we always close an eye to the newbies, especially if they are this nice!
SB, Jeanne Moreau is one of the greatest French actresses. Great phrase isn't it? I've seen it around, I don't remember if it was here...

Anyway, Bogg, you started nicely, my friend, but then this thing about fetish and taboo, you know, it's as if you went to preach Shintoism in a catholic church. You may think it's okay since people are into religion, but the beliefs are not always the same. We are here to talk about relationships that go way beyond that sex thing, that there's real love.

I am not saying that your fetish is bad, there's always an old pair of shoes for your old socks, you will find women that are willing to go out with you knowing it's only for that. But that's the kind of talk that, although we know they exist, we don't appreciate. You see, it's not about sex. It's about Love.

Thank you for the welcome. I agree Jeanne Moreau is a great lady and the quote is a fine line of her views.

Do you think age is really a big difference in the relationship arena, or is it over rated . I kinda get the feeling there are two veiws here and would like to know both sides.


just inquiring ???

Prince, I think the age gap is much less important than the maturity level of the people. I was very imature at 20 years old, but some people are already getting married and having children at that age and leading completely decent and normal lives.
Another thing that is also important is the actual ages of the two people. At 20, dating someone 8 years older may be much more of a drama than a 30 year-old dating a 50 year-old. Again this comes to a maturity problem.
I don't give much important to the age of a person, that's why I got myself in a mess, dating someone 15 years younger and having a whole bunch of people crying scandal here...and no, the guy was not a minor, he was 27...but I know I had done nothing wrong and that is a cultural problem, too, since in Brazil nobody said a word, they found it normal...

I certainly cant speak for anyone else...

and I've only talked to one of the older women I was with in depth about my views and hers. What she shared with me about her view (and maybe this isn't true for anyone else here) of younger men seemed to be something like a sweet she wasnt allowed to have but got sometimes anyway. I felt the same way.

I am certainly not trying to say love inst the most important part of any relationship you get in... I guess I'm just sharing some of my ideas wondering if women have a similar if inversed idea of the situation.

Apparently not.. at least so far. So far it seems to me a ow/ym relationship (to women.. or at least one woman here) is something you get into only becuase you meet someone who interests you the same way someone your own age would interest you. He just happens to be younger...

One more thing. I know the ideas I talking about are not popular.... dont think of me as a bad guy. I am not.... I guess I'm just interested in getting an honest reaction and really interested in hearing from women who think that way. Its a bad idea to make things like this things we cant talk about.... and If I'm preaching anything... its being honest about what turns you on... physically, emotionally.. and spiritually...

and thank you MariaLux. I find learning about how other cultures accept different types of relationships very interesting. Sometimes very preferable to where I find myself.

Sorry in advance if I'm being a pest to anyone... sorry you see me that way.

Of course there are women who think like you. I just think they would not take their time to come to a site where mostly we discuss relationship problems.
I mean, when it's mainly about fetish and sex, and short lived encounters, does one have relationship worries?
As I said, it's not that your ideas are wrong or right. I would just like to quote a very wise man who came here once and said:

So far it seems to me a ow/ym relationship (to women.. or at least one woman here) is something you get into only because you meet someone who interests you the same way someone your own age would interest you. He just happens to be younger...

I totally agreee with him, except that I would include many of the men here think like me.


But I may be wrong http://smilies.crowd9.com/cwm/cwm/uhoh.gif

Different strokes for different folks. That's what makes the world so interesting :)

ok...

maybe im being close minded.. but... if what you say is true MariaLux than either you have a hard time finding people your own age that have the qualities you like... or what? I dont know.... MariaLUX please tell me why your with your currect partner. Does his "young, beautiful" body :D have anything to do with it?



ps. I think your really beautiful MariaLux.

I didn't understand your question....http://66.227.101.70/contrib/dvv/cwmddd.gif

Why would I have problems finding someone my age or any age? There is always an old pair of shoes for my old socks, too! ;) And as for my boyfriend, my ex, I should say, yes, he was cute, of course.... why would I torture myself being with someone to whom I was not attracted :eek:? I am not against attraction, sex, nice bodies http://www.gamers-forums.com/smilies/cwm/cwm/circle.gif, but if they come with love, I prefer!

And wow, thanks for the beautiful... http://users.telenet.be/eforum/emoticons4u/love/1227.gif

Did you get together with him originally because you thought he was hot?


Do you get together with younger men becuase you think they look better? (all other things being equal)

Some people never look good, young or old. Some look better when they are older. So I don't really think younger men look better or worse than people other ages, it's really individual. Also what is beautiful for me may not be for you...

I didn't choose him because of his age. I chose him because of the whole person, his personnality, his beauty, his voice, his gestures, the way he treated me.

And you, Bogg, how do you choose your partner? Is age something that is really important for you?

I wouldnt say its really important to me.....

be able to relate with someone of interest is very important to me though.... I havent had much trouble with older women.... younger... ouch... I hit a brick wall there... at least when it comes to an actual relationship of some sort.

and then there is the 'drity' or 'bad' turn on factor..... hehe... yes it turn me on to have sex in a museum or do some other thing i'm not supposed to. hehe... i have my own limits there though... it doesnt turn me on to do anything to far beyond the realm of acceptance.... /i guess I have a sort of dirty side.

OK - you want honesty - you got honesty.

No idea if I'm going to make myself look bad or not, but I don't much care one way or the other :>

I'm not into younger men as a species, despite the fact that I've spent the last 4 years of my life with someone 16 years younger than me, who I met when I was 35 and he was 19.

I spent the previous 14 years with (and recovering from) a guy 11 years older than me, who I met when I was 21 and he 32 and who I eventually married. I lost him when he died of cancer at 42.

When I finally stopped grieving for someone I had loved terribly much, and spent alot of my adult life with: and got back into the dating thing in my early thirties, I found much to my disgust that I seemed like damaged goods to alot of men my age, who seemed convinced that I would always love my dead husband more than them. And many of them, frankly, were unhappily divorced and a bit angry - and that's not where I was at.

I had a fairly close and in some ways wonderful relationship with an English guy who was around 40, but we had both serious geographic and temperamental divides and were unable to bridge them, although he's still a very dear friend.

Then I met the 19 year old - through a
protest that was related to my job at the time - and through working together and hanging out, we became good friends over the course of the summer.

Since we both were quite partnerless,
as he'd broken off with his high school girlfriend of 4 years duration six months earlier, we decided to be friends with benefits. (Well, I decided - and he went along :>

So much for casual. Since he was smart and funny and totally wonderful and cute as can be, (and I'm not bad myself) - we fell in love with each other a mere three months in.

And while I felt at the time like there was something severely wrong with me, I eventually realized all that had happened was that I met a great guy:
a true friend and companion and partner who made me happy.

So we moved in together and here we are.

Sure I love his body, but I also loved someone who rotted away to a stick from cancer, and I loved that body until the person inside it died in my arms.
So what the hell do bodies mean in the end?

Is it a fetish? Of course not. If it were,
I could replace him with any of his friends and it wouldn't make a whit of difference. But it does. I don't want his friends - I want him.

I'm sure that his relative youth made it easier for him to accept my cancer baggage. It was probably too much for someone loaded down with their own. Or maybe he's just the kind of person who understood that I deserved to give and receive love again, despite what had happened. Who knows?

Why kiss a gift horse in the mouth?

But it works or has so far. I'm grateful for this miracle that has dropped down in my life.

And that's the story :>

No idea why you think you'd look bad here, DS. That's a pretty incredible story. Your YM *does* indeed sound like a true miracle. And his acceptance of your past probably has nothing to do with his age. Just to do with who he is at his core. I'm glad you found each other.

(applauds Desert Spring wildly) Woo Hoo! That was great....and the point was well made.

I've heard DS's story before, but I never tire of it. It's beautiful, open, honest and shows that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Another thing is, unlike some of us from bad, abusive marriages ending in divorce, this was not so with DS. She was happy and in love with her husband. I'm sure DS is attractive, as is her ym, but what draws them together exceeds physical. It probably wouldn't mean a hill of beans to either of them who was younger or older. They love eachother from the inside out. :)

I found your comments interesting, Bogg. It sounds like you really don't gel with yw, but you aren't ready to be serious with ow, although they are great fun for you.

I think the majority of women here don't exactly prefer ym, although I'm sure some do. I met my ym through a mutual friend. Sure, I thought he was hot. He thought I was hot. I thought he was 30. He thought I was 25. I was 36, he was 20!!! We didn't know that until after we'd talked for eight hours straight, non-stop, and then decided we were attracted enough to sleep together because we knew we'd be dating. It was perfect, the most perfect meet/date/live with/get engaged to relationship I was ever in, but you can imagine how shocked I was to find out his age! He has thick facial hair and a deep voice (plus a CHILD) so naturally I thought him to be older. Before him, I dated older men. I had a trist with a 23-year-old before him, and swore off ym forever. Then I met him the next week.

Life plays funny tricks on you sometimes. Just when you think you have a handle on things, you get yet another curve ball. You either play the game or drop out. If you drop out, you always wonder, "what if..."

I hope that whoever you are with, Bogg, knows your intentions. In other words, if you're just having fun, no intention of a relationship, I hope you're making it clear to your lady friends.

It isn't that I don't agree with the ladies above....I do believe that love is the reason to conintue a relationship with someone. A sexual relationship, without love, won't last anyway! And, I think that Desert Spring and Polly and anyone on this forum, who have found the perfect fit, are testimonials to all of us who ever wonder if an ow/ym long term relationship is really possible. Obviously, when you really love someone, age is insignificant.

Ok, so here's where I feel, not different, but possibly a bit more unconvinced about why MOST of the people posting on this board are here.

While its true that some people come here for relationship support (I did at first) the truth is that many people come here to talk with, express ideas with, share a laugh with and toss around ideas about sex with age gap opposites. It is no secret that most of the men here are much younger than most of the women. If we only cared about discussing love related topics, we probably would not have looked for a forum about age gaps. We would all, both men and women, have been going to another site to talk to people of our own age. And while its true that I specifically looked for a place where I could get support from other women, I stayed because it was alright for me to like younger men here. I have made friends here, as so many of the women have done - its wonderful and I'm so grateful for it. But that is not because I could not have friends anywhere else, it is because the women here and I share an attraction to younger men. That is the way I see it. So, regardless of whether someone here wants to find love, or just have a little fun, the fact is that the women here want to find that with younger men and the men here want to find that with older women.

Now, as to why I like younger men as opposed to older men....well, there's too much involved to just throw it into a few words. I can say this....although sex is great with younger men, it is so much more than just that.