Help! communication gap

Hello all. I just signed on but have been reading ("lurking") for a while. I really admire the healthy attitude most posters on this board have towards relationships in general, and age-gap ones in particular. My question is nothing that hasn't been asked before. I met the older man in question about 3 months ago. I'm 35 and he is 57. It seems obvious to both of us that we would like to get together, but he has made no overt moves in that direction. He is more subtle; e.g., once when someone mentioned that she had a much younger mate, he turned and smiled at me. Is he waiting for me to do something? He is not only older but considerably better established professionally (we are in the same field but do not work together). I would like to bring my feelings out into the open before summer, because at that point it will be difficult to see him otherwise. There is mutual friend who might help, but I want to ask her only as a last resort. Any suggestions?

Silver,

If its ok I'll put in my two cents on your situation.

"It seems obvious to both of us that we would like to get together, but he has made no overt moves in that direction. He is more subtle; e.g., once when someone mentioned that she had a much younger mate, he turned and smiled at me. Is he waiting for me to do something? "

Um....YES!:) This is a world full of both outgoing and shy people.
You've found a shy one! In my opinion that smile was as brave and forward as he's going to get, and even if he's building courage to ask you out. Your both missing out on time that could well be the exciting time at the beginning of a realtionship just because your both at the dance kicking the ground and giving shy glances instead.

"I would like to bring my feelings out into the open before summer,"

Well then other half of the shy couple......Do it!:) Tis better to have loved a short than never to have loved a tall or somethin like that? In other words, your heart is telling you you like this man. Your pretty sure his heart is in the same place. This leaves only three possible responses.
1. Do nothing! and wonder for the rest of your days....was this the love of a lifetime and I missed it?
2. Ask him out, and be rejected! and know you were chasing the wrong one and its time to move on.
3. Ask him out, and be told Yes I've wanted to go out with you from the start! and find that you made the correct choice and go into the love that you feel inside of yourself continue to grow.

3 1/2. Oh! and theres always sit and wait till he finally brings up the courage also!


"There is mutual friend who might help,"

Well.........I'm not too big on the old schoolgirl....(will you pass him this note for me, and ask him if he likes me?....he he he!)
I think its much easier for the ones involved to just swallow their pride and give it their best shot. But good luck and let us know how it turns out for you in any case.

Don

Thanks for the sage advice, rollsharley. You make good sense.... and strengthened my resolve to act sooner rather than later. Sometimes it's hard to remember that people can be shy in some ways and not others. I'll let you all know how things turn out.

Silver..... If you have a mutual friend and they don't have any issues with a relationship of this sort... than maybe she or he is the one to turn to....

Or I like the sutle approach...flirt like only women do best!!!! turn it on overdrive..... then ask him.... I get very forward after a lot of flirting...... Or maybe ask him out for coffee or dinner... and see where it goes

Good Luck let us know the outcome

ROFL@MerA,

"Or I like the sutle approach...flirt like only women do best!!!! turn it on overdrive..... "

:D :D :D Why am I picturing your OM pinned to a wall and squriming now??...oops nevermind!:D :D :D

Rolls... Hehehe... My OM is always on his toes with me... he loves that about me though..... says I am definatly a spitfire..... so....I guess i am just a very strong forward woman who knows what she wants....