shelley061 05-01-2003, 05:44 PM Is see that mostly women are the ones posting on here. I would like some opinions from men and women too. Let me explain: I was 18 when I met my OM and he was 35. Now years later we are back together. I am soon to be 37 and he is 54.
I was not the first nor the last of the YW he dated.. He evidentally has an attraction to younger women and I have always had an attraction for older men, I never dated anyone my age then married one and gosh what a mistake that was.
NOW. I feel that I am too old for him. Does that make sense? I worry about it. I am not the 18 year old I once was. A few more pounds, a few stretch mark, my boobs do sag a bit, and now divorced with a child.
He says he loves me and always has. Never told me till now 19 years later. Why are men so closed with their emotions?
All these years we can't stay apart. His daughter she is 30 and a great friend to me says there is definitly something special there.
MerAlove23 05-01-2003, 08:09 PM Well Men aren't as open as women... They say they aren't scared but they are!!!! very scared!!!
Anyway... Read that book Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus....
It's a great book!!!
EMCAD80 05-01-2003, 08:23 PM Well its good to see that after so many years there is still an attraction. Although physical features do take part....the emotional aspect plays a much greater toll....but that's my fairy tale thoughts ;)
datura81 05-01-2003, 09:48 PM How can you say you're too OLD for him now? I'm sure he no longer looks like the strapping man of his earlier days. Which is not to say he looks bad, how the hell would I know, but most people develop a few flaws as they age. I'm sure there are parts of himself he doesn't like either. As for the sagging, the stretch marks and weight, I'm sure nobody notices as much as you do. And any woman he's ever dated surely has some by now, unless they have a keg of Botox in their fridge. I'm sure he's realized that even 18 yr olds grow up, and if he's looking for just a physically younger woman, he desperately needs to GROW UP. I hope you're selling him short, because I'm tempted to tell you to ditch him.
IrishKid 05-01-2003, 10:18 PM Shelley...
I hope true love is not in how young the woman i love is...but in how i can not live without her...no matter her age. If the interest of your affection really has a 'thing' for younger women...then he does have a problem. I hope he is really looking for what he lost in you...and is trying to replace it.
I am sure, that if my lover and i broke up, I would be open to another young woman as a lover. Before I met her, I would never have considered someone that age..(I am 47, she is 21). So I have learned about one of my former prejudices..;and it is a thing of history.
Be true to who you are...and if he is fixed on a young body....you dont want him. If he is searching for true love...no matter the age...then show him what a great lover you can be.
Best of luck on your journey...
The IrishKid
Spunkasaurus 05-02-2003, 02:43 AM Shelley; only going on what you described, I side with the opinion of that best friend of yours.
You didn't describe fully what you feel for your man, but what comes across the most is that the only thing that'll sink you here is your own insecurity. The belief that needs dismantling (and probably the men in your life have done you a disservice) is that you're only valid in a relationship based on your looks.
Sometimes it takes aging and change and experience to start opening your heart to fuller, deeper and quite possibly, real love.
It sounds possible that your man might be tentatively exploring these thoughts... (perhaps for the first time) ... so celebrate, don't just reinforce the outmoded stereotype.;)
shelley061 05-02-2003, 04:15 PM I do believe this all stems from my insecurity. I love this man with all my heart, and always have. We have been back together now for almost a year now and it has been GREAT. I couldn't imagine this world without him in it.
I just know I am not the "young" girl I once was. He has not said a thing bad but things quite the contrary, always telling me how sexy I am etc. and I love that. I just have a fear that I will loose him again.
He is the love of my life.
EMCAD80 05-02-2003, 04:25 PM it's understandable shelley...and you probably feel like there is a lot of lost time, but don't spend the good quality time you have now pondering the 'what - if's' - it will all pass before your eyes and you'll kick yourself for allowing it to happen. If it bothers you so much...talk with him, have a good heart to heart :)
Best of Love
~EMCAD
twiggy 05-02-2003, 05:28 PM hi shelly.
I've got to say...you couldn't have gotten any better advice than the thread you've just received. I can't add anything more. Just thought I'd say hi and tell you that I agree with everything you've just been told.:)
Shelly,
Just like you, I got back together with my OM after 20 year gap, and two kids. I'm not the girl I was, but he tells me I am beautiful. He makes me feel sexy, intelligent, and loved. So what if there are some stretch marks going on - he's got a little bit of a belly going on too! The thing is we LOVE each other and it's better than ever because we both have some life experience under our belts - he just CANNOT use that old excuse of years gone by: "you need to meet men of your own age before you settle for me" - BEEN THERE, DONE THAT and VERY HAPPY TO SETTLE THANK YOU!
Grab him now, girl - if the flame still burns, it didn't ever go out, and you need to celebrate you found each other again!
Rula
rollsharley 05-05-2003, 08:18 AM Quotes by shelley061,
He says he loves me and always has.
All these years we can't stay apart. His daughter she is 30 and a great friend to me says there is definitly something special there.
I do believe this all stems from my insecurity. I love this man with all my heart, and always have. We have been back together now for almost a year now and it has been GREAT. I couldn't imagine this world without him in it.
always telling me how sexy I am etc. and I love that.
He is the love of my life.
Girl, STOP reading between the lines and read your own lines :)
You love this man, He loves you, enjoy your happiness! Everytime your insecurities kick in, just come back in here and read your own words. Well ok, do like I did and delete the insecure lines in 'between' :D
Don
SilverMermaid 05-05-2003, 09:00 AM Girl, STOP reading between the lines and read your own lines.
Well, ok, so like I did and delete the insecure lines in 'between'
These are great ideas! Takes a lot of guts and confidence to write your own script, but I say go for it.
SilverM
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