Complimenting On Looks

Have you ever wanted to compliment someone on his/her appearance but were too afraid to do so? I seem to have that problem.

There's an OW (early-40s) who works at my college library. She has a sweet, sensitive personality and has been very nice to me and all of the student assistants who work there. On the physical appearance side, she has what I like: Nice legs, great hear, lovely smile.

She always looks wonderful, but I'm afraid to compliment her for a couple of reasons. First, she's married. I don't want to put her under any kind of weird feelings. Believe me, I'd ask her out if she weren't married.

That leads me to my second reason. Because she already has her special someone, I'm sometimes afraid that he might come after me. Or if he doesn't, my words might be seen as a form of sexual harassment. I doubt she's the kind who'd take it that way, but in today's world and today's workplace, one never can be too careful.

What do the rest of you think about this issue?

that in today's workplace, but if you really want to complement her, then do it in a natural way, if it is part of the conversation...I have given married men compliments before when in a group while others are doing it, so I am not standing out as being after them or if you are talking to her and she says you look nice today, then you say she does too...but I would be careful about complimenting her legs, because that is sensual and can be taken as flirting or harrassment in the workplace....Stick to the hair and smile. ha

Hope that helps.

Yep, I would back away from that one. In my mind, "married" means "off limits."

Jannie is correct in that there is a way to compliment someone in a natural way. If a guy, married or not, at my office is wearing something I like, I say in a joking manner, "Hey, you look snappy today" or "You're all spiffed up today" and then I might follow that with "I really like that tie or that shirt," but I say it in a general manner and nothing that could be construed as flirting or a come on.

It is really sad that the sexual harrassment issue is at a point that you can't even be friendly in the workplace. Personally, I think it is way out of hand and driven by those people who are just looking at something to be offended by and that they can file a lawsuit in hopes of recovering $$$$!!!

I think you should put this lady in the "don't touch, don't think about her" category and keep looking.

something reverse happened to me a while back... I was supposed to meet this professor during office hours to discuss some course material and we decided on a time/date and she goes to me "okay it's a date" so i look at her and just smiled and before i could say anything she interjected and said to me "wait are you married?" and i said "no, i'm single but you're married right?" and she says "no i'm single too" and i just said "well i'll see you on monday then" and she said "hey dont get me for sexual harassment..." I just smiled and walked away dumbfounded. She's very hot by the way...i still wonder till this day if i should have done something further...:eek: :confused: