I am so disappointed in most of you.....

Hi this is Hunny, and I wrote to say I responded to your answers to my post a few days ago,, "Bumped into his young ex- girlfriend....Help!!"So you all can go to the second page and read my response. I have been gone a few days so I just read it.

Your responses really surprised me, and most missed the whole point and expressions of my post.

My YM wanted to go in there and out of love, lacking of jealousy, I must'ered up confidence to give him the freedom to see his ex girlfriend. My YM DRAGGED me in there!

About my tube top, my point is... well, you will all have to read my response on page two, as I am hurt and dont want to type it twice. but I love ya all.

May all of us OW have confidence!!!!

Hunny

I said this on the other thread...it is hard sometimes to "hear" the way someone means something when just reading the words. Especially when you don't know them personally. However, no one should have "read" more into your post than was there and we all should have given you the benefit of the doubt. I, for one, am sorry for anything I posted that disappointed you.

You did a nice thing for your boyfriend and for the right reasons. Nobody can control other people's bad behavior but we can do the right thing when we need to. It sounds like you did just that. :)

You know what Hunny.. I can tell that I would like you a lot. You came back and posted your disappointment... you didn't just disappear or tell everyone to go h..l. I hope you hang around more. PM me if you like. Barbara

Wow Hunny!
I'm impressed that you stuck up for yourself without being rude to the people who slammed you in your first post. That shows a high degree of maturity...and your YM is a lucky man. Congratulations on your pregnancy and the fact that you still feel good about yourself. :)

"I dont know what all the fuss is about my tube top, hehe, .I didnt want to go into the store, but my YM did. He had deep feelings of love for her in his heart, but he was never attracted to her."

deep feelings of love, but couldn't handle her being overweight. shallow, shallow, shallow!!!

"He wanted to see her as one sees an old friend. I was scared to see her, cause of his past feelings for her, but I was showing my love for my YM and letting him say "Hello" to his past. "

showing your 'love' or were you afraid he'd get mad if you didn't?

"My point of my post was to show how I support my YM in seeing and feeling out his feelings he had as a young man, and seeing how the world sees us."

who gives a f**k how the world sees you? most people don't care.

"Our relationship does not fit in the norm, My point is that OW, YM will always be seen as the rebels, and she was the one that revealed her jealousy. Going in to meet her was my peace offering to show that I didnt want to be jealous."

rebels? hardly. now if you were a blue-blood, old money, debutante from boston dating a paroled murderer with no job from east pigs knuckles, alabama, THAT would be rebellious.

"My story about the tube top was such a minor point to tell all OW out there that they can feel good about themselves. Feel proud and confident, and not be threatened or jealous over rival young women that hover around in our YM's lives."

'hover' sounds like they're tailing you 24 hours a day, or spot your every move in a helicopter. do they? and this older, rubenesque, ripe, luscious, sexy, FAT older woman has confidence to SPARE, hunny!

check back with us in a few years after you've had the baby and let us know if mr "i can love a woman who's fat but can't f**k her" younger man is still in the picture.

I'm sorry Mel, but I don't believe you're lashing out at Hunny is justified in any way. She wrote her post, she explained her post, it's not her fault her YM wasn't attracted to this young woman because of her weight, and it just seems you're out for revenge in some way with Hunny. No matter what she says, you attack her for it.
I think you should retract your claws. You're right, there are plenty of men that are attracted to larger women, but there's no need to be overtly rude to Hunny about the fact that her YM did not.

Hi, I wanted to thank you all for ALL of your responses, I love the positive ones fer sure, but we all can express ourselves, and thats allright.

I just wanted to express to Melisande that if my YM rejected his former girlfriend for her weight, it was HIS preference, and not mine.

I think all woman can be pretty and confident and love THEMSELVES.. I can compare myself to a 105 pound 18 year old girl and cry, but I try not to do that.

My story showed how we can ALL be jealous over someone we think has something we dont. Like my YM's ex. Who said something that hurt my feelings. prob because I had a different figure than her, and I got the guy that she wanted.

But it can all be the other way, I could take out my feelings on the 105 pound 18 year old, but it is senseless really.

Believe me, young girls do "hover" around my YM. He is goodlooking, and he is a delivery man who comes across young girls every week who flirt with him. They comment about his butt, tell him how cute he is, or they try to ask him out.

I wonder why you sound so bitter. I am sure if you are on this boards that you do have a younger man that loves you, or you are in a relationship with one, so it would mean that you have something special that he didnt see in other girls younger than you.

I guess you sound insecure, I dont know. I have many things to be insecure about, like I am petite, but wouldn't dare wear a bikini, I have scars from childbirth, I see the beginings of a first wrinkle. I bruise easily from a medical problem, so I have to cover my legs alot. I have a thinning hair problem, so I cant do much with it.

I have some kind of feeling that some of you are mad cause I came across as feeling superior like I'm Hot stuff or something.

So......yeah I am happy sometimes that I am shapely and look great in a tube top. I am on top of the world that I have a very cute 20 year old, and that the ex girlfriend his age didnt get him....

But hey, I get down in the dumps too about myself....scared about my future with my YM,..I think that is why I reached out for this board,

We try to be happy, we try to support eachother, give advice too I guess......Melisande......DONT WORRY< BE HAPPY !! CHILL

Hunny:p :)

Very well said!

Melisande,,

I reread your post and see that an issue is that you think my YM is a shallow guy for wanting only thinner women, and you happen to be a full figured woman, whom I have no doubt is beautiful inside and out. :)

Please dont be bitter at me, it IS HIS opinion, not mine, and it just happens to be that he is only aroused by thinner women. There are men out there that like full figured women.

My YM is a loving sweet man, whom I very much doubt will break my heart and leave me as you apply.

If he didnt choose a full figured woman, I think of it as some people being more attracted to someone with certain facial features, height, or coloring. I dont think it should be applied to his personality that he is a Bad person for what he prefers a womans body shape, or size to be.

Hunny.

Hunny,
I think you are so cool. YOu are such a good example of stuff.

You are peaceful and forgiving.

Everyone has the things they like. there is no right or wrong.

It has been a pleasure reading your post. Thank you.

All I can say is that if I had ever been pregnant, and sprouted a chest that would actually hold up a tube top -- hey, I'd be running around showing it off too!!

:D :D

Originally posted by hunny
About my tube top, my point is...


Let's see a pic! :D

What Joe? And have the women here stone her? :D

Originally posted by Joe
Let's see a pic! :D

http://images.alloy.com/images/products/7c5117_main.jpg

(This is a tube top, Joe)

:p

"deep feelings of love, but couldn't handle her being overweight. shallow, shallow, shallow!!! "

Seriously, though... does a guy have to be attracted to EVERY SINGLE GIRL ON THE PLANET to prevent him from being labeled a shallow dawg? He obviously found his ex stimulating in some ways, but not physically... yeah, that must mean he's a pig, right?

I don't find all men attractive. There are certain physical characteristics on some guys that I downright dislike. This won't prevent me from being friends with them, I am just not attracted to them! Does this mean I am shallow?

Hunny, you showed great tact in your responses. I'm sorry anything you said was misinterpreted! I agree with theprinsess -- you seem really cool!

Originally posted by yellowrose
What Joe? And have the women here stone her? :D

LOL @ Yellow!!! :D :D :D

Originally posted by Savannah
http://images.alloy.com/images/products/7c5117_main.jpg

(This is a tube top, Joe)

:p


ROTFLMAO @ Savannah!!!

http://www.manifestation.org/~ill/images/funny/willis.jpg

boy, Mel, that was a bit over the top. I can understand what you're saying, but most of your post was uncalled for and in poor taste, girl. It is his choice.

Hunny, I think if I can turn this around and formulate my thoughts abit...I can make sense of what Mel was trying to say...

As your man had deep love for this girl, we constantly tell o/w that if he loves you and your age isn't an issue, then you should believe him. Yet, your guy claim to have a "deep love" for this girl but it wasn't enough for him. Yes there are physcial characteristics we would not want in our partners but once the love is there, those negative characteristics that society claims to be "bad" we can overlook. What Mel was trying to say, I wager though badly, was that if he had such deep love for this girl why was her weight an issue anymore then your age would, thin or large, old or young, don't we fall in love with a person personality or is that one big, fat lie?

Other then that be happy as what we say is here today and gone tomorrow.

Paris

I am just thinking that it was deep love as a friend. I have felt that way about 2 guys I dated and did not have sex with. They were terrific people (we are still friends) but I was not and could not be sexually attracted. Sometimes (believe it or not :D ) people date someone that they are not hot for, thinking that it may grow. When it doesn't and one has spent time and know their good points, they care about them.

Now this girl was young, I don't maybe 16-18 when she went out with the guy. She might have invested more than would be logically expected for a dating relationship. If she got herself pregnant as a reaction to the breakup, she definitely was overly invested and not too wise.

And don't know anything about her boyfriend really but I am glad that hunny posted and I think she will add a lot of good to Ageless. So I am hoping we can quite analyzing and just get on with getting to know a new friend. :)

yellowrose, i do have a deep love for a few of guys I've meet within the last couple of years...although would not have a relationship with them, through no fault of their own, I won't also stop my relationship with them either, after all you can never have enought friends, and they knew within the first couple of weeks of getting to know each other that it was a lifetime friendship.

I think Mel, through her fit, can accept the no chemistry responce (I think alot of people can relate to that), but when its a physical rejection, she takes it personally as age is a changing, revolving physical attribute as well, and we all want to be accepted for who we are, but of cause that's hogwash...but i get what you're saying....

Paris

well.. ILl say the tube top thing.... Kinda superficial isnt it? since you mentioned she was overweight? a friend is a friend regardless of what they look like. The thing is.... does it take a tube top? Is he the one who wanted to see her anyway? or did you both want to see her? I would have to aks why he wanted to go in there where she was? I would also have to ask why would having been married before imply you "get around" a monogmous relationship of marriage would imply the opposite. you dont get around...
I loved this quote
"Yes there are physcial characteristics we would not want in our partners but once the love is there, those negative characteristics that society claims to be "bad" we can overlook."

Or we should be able too....

Im sorry if this sounds negative... I really am.. But it seems he is doing some of the things that have made me insane in my relationship....we are in therapy now.... but... they wont heal... its an insecurity that runs deep based on not knowing how he actually feels.. Perhas as in my case, his actions dispute what he says?... again I am sorry. for being so direct...


By the way Savannah... I LOVE YOUR DOG! I have one too almost identical.. His name is Biscuit.... woof woof!

Originally posted by willowsecho
By the way Savannah... I LOVE YOUR DOG! I have one too almost identical.. His name is Biscuit.... woof woof!

Thanks -- the pic is actually an ancient sepia photo of a Springer spaniel (too small to see that he actually has a full tail -- obviously from a time before docking was common). Colour him black with white and tan markings, and you'd have my guy -- that's the wistful sucky-face look I get when I leave every morning. He was kind of a Mystery Mutt from the pound, abandoned at 6 weeks, but they suspected collie and husky ancestry. Once his full coat feathering grew in, the Springer was unmistakable.

Now I have to dig up a pic of my REAL dog........!