Who Was The First To Make A Move In Your Relationship?

I know with ours I was scared to death! So even though I knew she was the one......At the time I could not get over the fact that she was so much younger than me.

Luckily for us though she let me know how she felt for me or we may never have gotten together.

So thats my story.....whats everybody elses? I'm wondering if most of the older guys were as worried about the age gap like I was at first?

Don

Oh yeah! D is still concerned with our age gap. I persued him like there was no tomorrow. We were at a TGIFridays with my ex roomie, and a few other of his employees...not to mention the girl he was dating at the time. I started to paly footsie with him and he started to rub my feet under the table. It was great.

Later that night, my ex roomie was pissed at me because she saw what was going on...fooey!

Then I pretended like I couldn't find my licence. She called the restaurant and asked if someone could call D. Someone did and D called me back. We then started talking on the phone all the time. One night he asked me out to dinner as friends. We both talked of our 'bad relationships'....and I couldn't stop calling him after that. He tried to end it a few times, but I guess I'm just so damn irresistable that he couldn't stay away.

He blames our relationship on me...it's all my fault....and I take full responsibility for it....I had to have him :)

I made the frist move. i was a little nervos about being tured down but i took my chance. and here we are 9months later.

welcome to the boards big daddy....hee hee I said big daddy :D

Originally posted by rollsharley
So thats my story.....whats everybody elses? I'm wondering if most of the older guys were as worried about the age gap like I was at first?

At least ten times more so, I'd be willing to bet.

I'm not really sure how to answer this one, because it was a little complicated in our case. We've known each other for quite a while (about two and a half years now), and I think we'd both kind of known since about December or so how we each felt, but both pretty scared of the whole thing (add in to the age gap the fact that neither of us has particularly large amounts of experience in relationships). Things finally got serious, however, when I stumbled across her weblog about two and a half months ago and found out that her feelings were every bit as strong as mine. After that, I broached the conversation. So depending on how you want to look at that, you could either say that she made the first move or that I did. Confusing, eh? I've said it before and I'll say it again, I owe a huge debt of gratitude to whomever invented the weblog.

Interesting thread topic, and responses. I look forward to hearing more.

hey thanks for the welcome Emcad!!:D

your welcome big daddy...hee hee ~ i just can' t get over it!!

He was giving me a massage - nooooo, guys, not the sexy kind, but a truly non-sexual massage! I had a bad kink in my shoulders and he was helping me out. I'd recently separated and we'd been friends for a while. While he was rubbing my shoulders he said "When you're a little more free, I could do this for you all the time..."

It sounds soooooo corny, but it was cute. I was not sure if he was "joking-flirting" or "flirt-flirting." It was hilarious, because when I was officially "more free" I ran over to his house, held up papers and said "I'm a little more free now..."

ROFLMAO.

Aw Happy....

that is too cute! i love it :)

Everyone's stories are so interesting and special... Happy's flirtatious massage, Rhadamanthus finding out his love's feelings in a weblog, Em playing footsie in a restaurant... What all these stories have in common is that someone was willing to throw caution to the winds and take a chance. I'm still looking into the many ways someone gets to that point, but I guess it helps to care a lot about the person whom you want to get close to.

Anyway, I'd love to hear more tales like these, and (raising a glass of grape juice to make a toast) here's to successful pursuit of love.

-SilverMermaid

First off, I would like to welcome Big Daddy to the site as well.

Second, I feel the need to say that normally I'm not as forward as I was with D in letting him know how I felt about him. I think it was seeing him all torn up (from his soon to be ex wife leaving him). Like rolls said I was the first to confess how I felt about him.

Third, Great stories everyone!!!!!!

C

Well, he made the first innocent steps...talking to me, he sent me a card, tried to put himself in my path. But I was the one who ultimately asked him out. He drove me home and I crawled into his lap (he was on the driver's seat). I just put my head on his shoulder and cried my eyes out, because I found home. I knew that home would always be wherever he is. The funny thing is, we hadn't even kissed yet!

That freaked him out, but since he was feeling the same thing, he got over it! He still talks about that night, and how it changed his life forever.

Originally posted by SilverMermaid
Anyway, I'd love to hear more tales like these, and (raising a glass of grape juice to make a toast) here's to successful pursuit of love.

Hear hear!

Well we worked together... he he started to flirt with me like crazy and Yes I flirted with him to so that was mutual...but i gota vibe from him right away... I remember my HR rep introducing us and me and him shook hands and I smiled and he did to it ws just the warmest feeling... he became the person i went to for questions and so on.....one day he walked me to my car after work and he turns around went to leave and then turns around again looks at me and says "***** it" grabs my face and kisses me...... and the rest is history!!! hehehe I love him to death ...:D

Posted by Emmie
I knew that home would always be wherever he is.

Isn't it the best feeling!
What's the age gap between you two?

Our age difference is 23 years and 51 weeks!

Well congrats! Your a great addition to the wonderful people on this site. Even though some of you comments aren't towards me, I gather a great deal from you.

I wish you all the best
~em

Ken and I met at work. We both worked midnight shifts at a police department. He was (and still is) a police officer, and I worked security. We always had to come to a briefing of sorts before work. Then we would go to our assigned posts. Mostly we worked a lot of state buildings. The ONLY, and I do mean ONLY thing everyone ever did, was talk on the phone to each other. The whole shift would literally take turns calling each other. It kept us all awake and from being bored to tears, since not too many folks came to work in the buildings on midnight shift. I ended up getting pretty close to another guy on the shift (strictly friends), and was talking to him one night. He was working with Ken. He handed the phone to Ken, and we talked for a long time. We just fell into each other's lives. It was wonderful to have someone to talk to who cared about how I felt. He got in the habit of bringing me coffee every night to wherever I was working, and made sure I didn't need anything. It became common knowledge around the department that he was my night in shining armor, and everyone just let us be. It was a month or so after we first started talking and he came to bring me coffee and looked into my eyes and kissed me. It was the absolute most romantic thing I have ever experienced. And every kiss after that has been the same.

And the rest is history. He ended his very unhappy marriage, and came and rescued me.

Well, thanks!

I too have learned so much from the members on this site. I have always felt a special kinship (well, sisterhood actually) with other young women in age gap relationships. We definitely share some similar issues!

I know my other 'gal pals' would sit and listen and try to give the best advice possible, but its so much easier when it comes from someone in the situation.

So thats what I am doing wrong...I have to make a move......

G

Better step on it GrayFox....us gals are impatient!! Hehe.

Dankia~

What did you do? How did you confront him?

Let's see now. He and I knew eachother for about a month before we started talking more online and then he was the one who started being very forward. It was very funny because at the time I was only 17 and he was so nervous about just making sexual jokes with me and then we fell for eachother. We could never be alone because of the whole him being in the public eye thing so the first time that we got to be alone I wanted to kiss him and I told him and he said, "You can't kiss me" and I said, "well what if I kissed you anyway" and he said, "I might not let you kiss me".. He was utterly terrified of what one kiss might lead to(I am 18 so don't get scared), not just physically but how much deeper our feelings would go when we are still trying to work through a lot of issues of not being able to be together officially(it's an on going issue). So I started to be a real big tease and just touching his face and he caved and kissed me. It was the most amazing kiss ever, there were so many sparks you would have thought it was the 4th of July. So I made a lot of advances because I knew he couldn't resist but he was the one to initially kiss me and start talking to me about how we felt.

-A. Jane

I'd known my OM for close to two and a half years before I finally spoke up. We'd been very good friends for most of it, and I'd known for the last year that I had some sort of feelings for him. I was happily dating other people at the time, however, and really felt the age and distance were too much, so I dismissed my feelings as a passing fancy. I even mentioned that I knew we'd never get into a romantic relationship several times to keep him from reading too much into our friendship.

My other happy relationship dissolved, and I ended up in a brief and intensely dysfunctional relationship. In the aftermath of that, I took a walk to a nearby fountain that I often visit when I'm upset and sat down to tell the ornamental fish all my problems. (It's cheap therapy.) I happened to have three pennies in my pocket, so after unburdening myself I figured I'd help myself to three wishes. One of them was that I'd somehow find someone who loved me and whom I loved back.

On the walk back home, I was hit by the fairly intense epiphany that I already had that person, but was ignoring him for trivial reasons like age and distance. At least, I loved him -- I wasn't entirely sure how he felt about me. I'd been pushing him away for a while, so who could blame him if he'd set aside any feelings, even assuming he might have had them in the first place? I chewed on it for a few days before finally gathering up my courage and broaching the subject with him by beginning a conversation on secrets we'd kept from each other.

Given that I log everything, here's a somewhat edited (to remove personal details and so on) version of that conversation. (Hope no one minds how long this post has gotten.)

Me: Didn't want to hear the other thing?
Him: Oh what's that?
Him: tell tell tell
Me: (Not that, again, you don't already probably know.)
Him: ::listens::
Me: I love you?
Him: You love me love me?
Me: Yes.
Him: Ok, I wont say that I didn't know. I thought you might have a slight crush type thing on me
Him: And in all honeslty I feel the same way.
Me: "slight crush." Heh.
Him: Well, you know how it is, across the net on words, it's hard to tell sometimes.
Him: But I did not expect you to say that.
Him: And yes, I love you too. I do amit that I feel slightly weird admitting it.
Me: Didn't want to make you nervous. Didn't want to make me nervous by recognizing it, for that matter..
Him: I can honestly say that I feel very close to you from just talking like we have for the past year or so.
Him: I care extremely deeply for you.
Me: . . .and you stopped talking.
Him: I am...
Him: Sort of speechless (hard to imagine for me, I know)
Him: Even though we have never met, and only talked through typing....
Him: If I had to describe the perfect woman, the combination of brains and sweetness, it woudl be exactly the way I know you to be.
Him: I am completely and utterly in shock....
Him: I am glad you had the courage to say something.

So it all worked out marvelously, and I'm glad I had the courage as well -- but I still admit that I was so nervous about the possible response that as soon as my fingers hit the return key after the initial "I love you?" I was curled in a ball on my bed with my face buried in the pillow, too terrified to read whatever might come. Good thing I got up after a minute.

Waiting,

Have you and your OM met yet? and what is your age difference?

Reading what you guys said online made me think of me and my OM, so that made me happy, I love being able to relate to everyone, it is such a change from what I was used to!

-A.Jane

who made the first move. little hard to say. (thanksgiving) we was driving up to ark. to see family. two others was in the back seat. i ask could someone stay up with me. it was 2am and the trip was 7 hours long. edyta said she would stay up. (in my heart that is who i wanted to stay up with me). so we left. right before daylight just outside of texarkanse we looked at each other just for a moment. ***just about month ago we talked about this moment, so i can tell both sides**** for me i had a quick day dream of us being together five years form now and felt very excited. edyta felt the same way.

funny about a moment in time can do.

we both dismissed it. age gap. yall know what i mean.

while we was in ark... (i was stupid in a aspect, because i did not see this at the time) edyta made it a point to set or be beside me the hole trip. i did not see it all. but thanking back on it. i know that she was. at the time i was blind and did not see it. i wanted to deep inside, but because of the age gap i did not thank that she would like me that way. so i pushed the felling away. edyta did also. same reason. at that time we known each other for 4 months. we meet in person on aug 6.

since thanksgiveing we would have these moments again and again. nest big moment was newyears night. we was celibrating the newyears. it was about 11:30. we was at the kitchen table with other ppl around. we started to play footies. who start first i do not know. at one point we look at each other and the world stop for us. i complely forgot everything around me except the most beautiflul blue eyes belonging to the most beautiful lady in the world. **i am glad no one saw us at this moment** i have never felt like that before. we did not say anything to each other (about how we felt, because of the age gap, and for me... how can someone like her love me). yes we talked. it was about everthing else except how we felt about the other. we in our differant way made movies on each other. quitely and not direct. funny if just remember something i left out. somewere around Christmas. i held edyta's hand for some reason i do not remember. i told edyta that i never felt someone hand like that. it was differant. (i did not told her that i liked how it felt **a/g**) she asked me what did i mean. was there something wrong with her hands. (she was thanking and hoping that i would say it was because i liked here or something special was between us). i made this comment many times till the day we got to gether. ( i am getting thier). after newyears we started openly with each other flirting. (keep in mind that no one else knew or saw us) but we both thought of the a/g and still pushed our felling away (in aspect). edyta honestly started to make sure she was around me much as posible. i started to realize it. i did not know what to do. if we was closer in age, yes i would. but again how could edyta love me or care for me like how i loved her. and what did i exactly fell for her. we is because of her kindness, beauty, how she treaded ppl. i started to find out myself is this true love or not. now i was confussed. i was falling deeply in love her and why. i could not help meself. i had to find out if i was reading her correctly. did she like me like this. so on feb 19 we stayed up and talked about it. at the time we have been up for over 18 hours. we swe did not jumped up and donw when we found out how the other one felt.. we both relixed. it felt so wounderful to be open with each other. edyta was sitting in my lap at this time. she put her head on my shoulders and went to sleep. i held her for while and woke her up and told her that she had to go to bed. and she left. both of us was and still very happy. that night we did not talk about how much we loved each other. just about that we liked each other more than friends. that is how far we went that night.

this day i will never forget feb 24. we was in a room together talking. our other friends fell alseep in the other part of the house. so we was talk. we shut the door to that room because we did not want anyone to know how we start to fell about each other. we lad down on the futon (it was in the cough position) edyta started to play with my hair. man that felt so great. i got up to see were our other friends were. right when i got up i want to kiss her (but was scared that she would hit me or get mad) to myself is said "go for it what do you go to lose"
i lean down to kiss her (noraml/ plain how ever you want to say it) as soon as kiss her i felt like (i do not have words) but it was like a magnet, a very strong magnet. i had to kisss her again. this time it was a very passonit kiss. then i realized what happen and i stoped. to myself "what did i just doooooooo". i just kissed edyta. i went to see were everyone else was. i came back and edyta asked me to lock the door because we did not want anyone to know. we kissed for a long time. holding each other also. that was all we did that night. the next day we come to the conclution that night we started to be gf/bf. so on every 24th of month is our monthly anv... so this thursday the 24th will be our 5th anv...

somethings i left out. but this is how we started. first move goes to edyta (always making the point being around me) the first kiss given goes to me.

edyta i love you soooooooooo soooooooooooo sooooooooo very much. i love how i fell when i thank of you. i always have a great big smile. forever and for alway i will love you my sweet sweet sweet edyta. i love how your hair runs through my hands. lol or is that how my hand feels whin i run my hand through you soft beautiful blond hair. :-)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

EDYTA YOUR ARE MY ONLY TRUE LOVE

A Jane,

We've met several times now, and just returned from our fourth visit together. I'm 19, and he's 31.

He very definitely made the first move. We had been working together for about a year. We had flirted, and everyone knew that he had a crush on me. (Because of the age difference, I didn't really think it was serious at all, just a little innocent flirting.)

Well, one day he took out a group of people from work to dinner. Someone else who was going had invited me. After dinner, we went out for drinks and I ended up sitting next to him. We talked and talked and then he mentioned something about having been a Buddhist Monk when he was younger. When I heard that I thought "well, okay, I suppose I could go out with him."

Two days later he sent me an email saying "I know I should probably do this in person, but I was wondering if you would like to have dinner this Thursday."

He always jokes that his pick-up lines never work, and I have to remind him that the pick up line that did work was "Hey, Baby, I used to be a Buddhist Monk." ;-)

It's good to hear happy stories or should I say "success" stories in ageless relationships ;) Mine is just starting...and I don't even know if his as concerned as I am. My story is one of those online relationships..blah...blah. We haven't met for real and he's 14 yrs older than me, I'm 25. How will I know if what we feel for each other is true? :confused:

Dankia
I love that your aggressive! I'm sure he was so stunned that you kissed him! Great story! :D

AJ Angel
It sounds like your first kiss was straight from a movie fairy tale...I love it! I'm glad that you knew what you were feeing and you went for it!

Waiting
So your telling us wishes do come true ;) I'm so glad that you realized that love sees no age and it truly is blind! How long have you guys been dating?

Originally posted by EMCAD80
Waiting
So your telling us wishes do come true ;) I'm so glad that you realized that love sees no age and it truly is blind! How long have you guys been dating?

Fifteen months, as per the start date on my account :-).

Yea....congrats to you :D

LadyinGreen,

Thanks... Ok. Stay happy... and take care.

To the rest of the gang here at ageless... good luck to us and stay happy. We deserve to be happy...don't you think? hehehe


Abby

Oh yes!! We all deserve to be happy....and at this moment in life...I couldn't be happierhttp://pages.prodigy.net/rogerlori1/emoticons/Zoom.gif

Technically, I made the first move on her and she made the 2nd. We started out as co-workers working at a department store in Mission Viejo, CA. She appeared to me as a super fine and sexy cutie and I began flirting with her. But there was a couple of problems. The department store where we worked tend to hire underaged workers and my friend, Alice, had such a baby voice. I was scared to talk to her for a while, thinking that she was about 15 or so. But she assured me that she was 20 and we began talking alot. However, she told me that she had a boyfriend and I kept our conversations strictly business.

Months later, after I quit the store only to return, I saw her outside the store and she quickly got into my car and asked me to take her to a McD's to get breakfast. As she was eating her breakfast, she looked to me and asked, "Can we go to a motel and do a little something?". That was the start of our relationship......LOL.

Now 4 years later, we are still going strong.

I was the one who made the first move in our relationship, even though I was really scared of losing his friendship. We'd been emailing for a while and neither of us were even looking for love but I just realised one day that I'd fallen in love with him. I was thinking of him all the time, couldn't wait to get online and see if I had any emails from him and everytime the phone rang I'd be hoping to hear his voice when I picked up the receiver. Anyway, one night I decided I had to tell him how I felt, I couldn't pretend any longer so I told him, his response was that he was going to phone me and he went offline. I was so scared that it was just an excuse but the next minute the phone rang and he was telling me he'd had the same feelings for me but hadn't dared tell me, one because of the age difference and another because of the distance. We had a long chat that night, he booked a flight and came over here to see me and things have just got even better since then. We do have our bad times like any others but we always get through them, in spite of not being able to cuddle and make up. We love each other so thats all that matters to us both. :D

Hi Kay-

That's a great story. You deserve a big hurrah for having the courage to tell him right out how you feel! Hope you two can be closer together (distance-wise) soon.
http://mindscraps.com/s/kao/otn/kao6.gifhttp://216.40.249.192/s/kao/otn/kao1.gifhttp://burns.thefinaldimension.org/kao/otn/kao3.gif

We were set up by a mutual friend so neither of us actually made the first move when it came to going out on a date, but he did ask to drive me back to my car after we had dinner. Then he asked me if he could kiss me and it was so amazing! Since then, we have been almost inseperable. He is big into fishing so he always jokes that he doesn't care about catching any more fish because he already has the best catch he could ever have! He is so sweet!!

I love reading these stories...we have our own Chicken Soup on our site! :)

Thanks for sharing everyone!

My OM and I met through a mutual friend. I had actually met him a year or so before. Then I think it was on Christmas eve, he found out that I was over at the friend's house, so he decided to come over. We ended up talking alone for hours, until about 2am. I, for some reason felt very comfortable talking to him, and was very open. I knew he was older, wasn't sure how much (he looks young for his age) but that never really entered my mind until we started getting serious. Anyway, so we talked all night then he told me that I was beautiful and he kissed me. But I on the other hand was the first to reveal my love for him. About 5 months into the relationship I wrote him this long 4 or 5 page letter about how much I had fallen head over heels for him. I took it to him at his house, crying too hard to talk, I was so afraid that it would scare him off. Fortunately, it did the opposite! And here we are, almost 4 years later.

I was on holiday in Greece doing a workshop. He arrived later than me for the second week. We swam together in the sea. He offered to give me a massage on the beach. I accepted. Nice! I picked up that he was interested in me, didn't know whether I was going to do anything about it though. Then I got horny :D

Picture this:
We'd been out for dinner (above the beach) with the rest of the group and walked back barefoot along the beach as the moon rose, huge and red (it was amazing). Arriving back at the centre we sat around drinking coffee. Slowly the others drifted off to bed (does this sound like a novel yet?) leaving just us two. He said "I never finished that massage, did I" So we went to the yoga yurt (small round tent) where he finished it...

the rest is history!

Yeah! Congrats to meeting your men! Its heart warming to know that romance still exists. :)