How do I get it started?

Hi all. I've been lurking on, and sporadically posting to, this site for a couple months now, and it's great to hang out with folks who think the way I do...age is a number. Now I need some help from whomever has some ideas for me.

I work with a woman who absolutely drives me crazy. The best part of my day is any time she comes around. I'm 37, she's 24. Now, I know that that's not a problem. But she has a hard time with the age difference, and I can't say I'm surprised. But the thing is, we flirt hard! She understands that my flirting is serious, and I get the feeling her's is as well. How I feel about her is not a secret to anyone we work with..in fact it's the subject of a lot of jokes played on me. I know she likes me at least as much, and I'm 100% sure that had we not been born so many years apart, we'd be dating right now. We've got a great relationship and we are good buddies, but she's told others that the age difference would be tough for her.

My question: Have any of you had to "coax" your significant others into losing their trepidations about an age gap? Was it just luck that you found someone who said "it's no big deal?" I really have no idea how I might approach this. Keep in mind that she KNOWS how I feel about her, and she has told me that she doesn't think of me as older (I'm a big little kid!). It doesn't seem right that 13 years should stop something awesome from happenening.

Thanks a lot for any advice!

Maybe you should tell her to come on here... we will talk to her!!!! Be honest and up front... Although if she can't get over the age "thing" then Unfortunatly you can not force her...... But I would tell her that life is to short and to try and see where it goes... to keep an open mind .... Good Luck... i hope she comes around!!!!!

yes, that is what i was thanking. MerAlove23


two thing come to mind that i leave by.

life is too short. live it the fullest as posible.

what do you got to lose. relax and enjoy life.

or somehow mention reading here about age differences, 30 years in one case, and get her curious enough to come here on her own and see. Now, that is an interesting poll that could be set up. The age differences between various couples or potential couples here. I know there is one, if I remember correctly, with a 30 year difference, and I know there are others with a lot less. This might be interesting to begin with and give others some amunition when the subject comes up.

amunition for who????

i would like to vote on that poll. if i had to make a guess it would be 20-22 years differance.

I meant, for example, if someone is explaining a 10 year age difference, they could say there are so many couples with a age difference of how many years. For example, "gee, is not big deal, there are 5 couples happily in a relationship with an age difference of 25 years at ageless" to give an example.

I think abaconw has a good point, in that someone who would balk at a 20+ age gap might not have a problem with one of only about 13 years. But this is a matter of individual perception, and some people consider ever a few years as too much.

The previous repliers all have given good advice. It would help to show her this site. I was wondering, MFD37, if you have some idea of the reason for the young woman's hesitancy about being in an age gap relationship. Is it a reaction to society's overall take on the issue or something more specific? You do say that she doesn't think of you as older, which is an important point, and that you both flirt a lot.;)

My only suggestions have less to do with the age gap and more to do with how you get along together. I think it's great that you two are friends and buddies, and that shouldn't change, but maybe sometimes you could present a different side of yourself to her and see how she responds. Maybe bring out the mysterious, unpredictable side, or whatever great points about you she hasn't seen before. Also, don't avoid the age gap issue, but don't focus on it either. Concentrate on making her aware of all the things you have in common: interests, attitudes, etc. Good luck, and let us know what happens.:)

Oh, one more thing... if you have a chance this summer, you might take your yw for a ride on the Swan Boats. I've heard various people say that gliding along surrounded by all those tourists can work a magic spell of sorts (hehehe).

-SilverMermaid

I WISH my OM was only 13 years older!!!

Then we would probably have more time together and maybe I could convince him to have a baby with me! 40 would probably sound much better as a time to be a new dad than 51!

13 years is NOTHING!!!

Have any of you had to "coax" your significant others into losing their trepidations about an age gap? Was it just luck that you found someone who said "it's no big deal?"

Coax!? It's not big deal!? Ha! I wish!! D is STILL telling me that he is to old for me (I'm 22 and he is 40). We are 17 1/2 years apart and I think that's nothing....13 years IS NOTHING! I say ask her out for coffee or cocktails and talk openly and honestly about the whole thing. Express your concerns, but at the same time express where you would like to see the two of you going. Let her know that she isn't the only one out there in her shoes...and add all the stuff above...tada! You have a great plan!