some help from the YM here

Okay so here's the deal. I have this YM in my life since Jan. he is 15 years my junior, i am 37 he is 22. We hit it off great and have a wonderful flirtation and way back in the beginning he told me he always dates older women. i blew it off as nothing. We hung out one night late night with a few ****tails and he basically called my bluff. i didnt take him up on it cause i so enjoyed his company and we do hafta see each other 3 nights a week socially. well now i think i am regretting closing that window of opportunity, but i fear regection if i ask.
how can i know if he is still interested. im not terribly good at recognizing interest because up until recently i was not the kind of woman that got noticed often.

so.... a little help from the YM out there would be greatly appreciated

Thanks

Apples

Hi Apples,

In my experience you have definitely not closed any windows. I know that if I liked someone but got blown out then it didn't ever stop me liking them so the chances are that he is still interested.

The simplest way would be to tell him that you like him, but if you are not feeling brave enough for that try some really unsubtle flirting!!

What you have to remember is that there is nothing wrong with rejection, you did it to him and he is still obviously speaking to you so how bad can it be?

Good luck

Jim
xx

mauravel is right. it would be unusual for any door to have closed. also, mauravel's suggestions are on. if you want to move on this, tell him, flirt with him, or just make a move. i doubt he would not react positively, if his original interest were real.

well you see there's the rub....was the original interest real?

you see this is the first time i have EVER even been interested in a YM so i still of the mindset 'what could he possibly see in me?' and i am unsure where the shameless flirting ends and the thuth begins. its always been easy for me before..older men are very clear, and the signs are overt. i am having trouble picking out the signs with this YM. or any YM for that matter, any clues?

tia

hi,

If what you have been telling us about what happened is correct then of course his interest was real, how can he "call your bluff" without making obvious his interest, or maybe you mean he wants you as a notch on the bedpost rather than a romantic interest. Wouldn't you go through that worry with all men not just younger ones?

Get on with it and make a move!! :D

Jim
xx

Hello Applesauce and welcome.
Tho I am not a YM, I will add my two cents anyway. Go for it. You have to make the next move. He tried and you turned him down. Dont try to be coy. Dont be sutble. He has been rejected once already, and he will be leary of any advances he is not 100% sure of.
Let him know you have been thinking about him. Touch him. Have him touch you. Leave no doubt in his mind what you want. Trust me he needs this now.
Do you want romance or just sex? Let him know what you want.

thank you all for your input, and there seems no doubt that its all up to me, and as for what i want from him....well im not really sure. all i know is i want more than i have, and he is the most fun i have ever had.

thanks all

apples

Apples wrote:
"all i know is i want more than i have, and he is the most fun i have ever had."



Then say that...say exactly that. Tell him how you really feel and see what happens. If you hope for the relationship to go forward, the best thing is honesty.
The two of you can then work out where you should go next. Most importantly, as you move forward, make sure that is feels right to both of you. And if one is struggling, give them time.
If it's meant to be, it will be a natural process...not "calling a bluff".

"but i fear regection if i ask."

So does everyone who asks - men included (it isn't any easier on us than it is on women). As a former poster said, you need to be direct and honest about it with him - don't use "hints" or "signs" to get the message across. Say "I'm really attracted to you - would you be interested in going on a date?" or something like that. As the other poster said, since you rejected him the first time, he'll have to be 100% sure of what you want. I can't speak for all men, but I know that I (and most of my friends) prefer direct statements/questions to hints and subtleties. Just take a deep breath and go for it!

Good luck - I hope it goes well for you!

- Jesse

Hi. It sounds like you have conflicts about whether you're worthy of a guy's interest & desire at all. If you're not sure about this situation, maybe you shouldn't pursue it until you tackle the questions about what you want & deserve.

If he likes you, he likes you. If he finds you desirable, then you probably are. If you two have lots of fun together, there must be something there.

Decide what you want & what you have to offer (which is probably a lot) & whether this is a worthwhile opportunity for you. We all have missed opportunities in our past, but something wonderful always seems to come along eventually. Especially when you're ready for it.