birthday and the truth

hi my name is pamela, im 45 and my boyfreind is 44, he thinks im actually 42 tho, on august 12 its my birthday, is that when i should break it to him that im older than he is or tell him now. he's told me he prefers to date younger women and i said id go out with a man older/younger than me. when i do break it to him about my age, any steps on how i should?

help me out guys!

How long have you been dating this man? And if he has a problem with the small gap, (I personally think it's not even worth thinking about, considering there is 22 years between me and my finace) then he is quite narrow-minded and insecure about something. You aren't even a full 2 years older than he is!

In my opinion...honesty is always the best policy...if you will lie about a small issue, you will lie about bigger issues too. That is how I feel about it. So you should be honest with him about your age.

going out for 6 months, i truly love him

You lied to him by 2 years only since you are turning 45 in a week or so. just tell him the truth and dont lie again, be proud of your age, you earned every bit of it and its nothing to be ashamed of.
and if he wants to date a younger woman, please open the door for him and tell him to go and find one , it will make you a big favour;)
All the best
Adri

LOL @ Adri!!! :D

You naughty boy!!!
you are always laughing at me, what did i say wrong now?:confused:
dont forget that i am working here and typing fast and cant make long posts or use big words, no time for that:D
Behave ok?
Adri:cool:

Not makin' fun of you girl! Just chuckling at the way you explain things. :) I'm sorry, I'll stop. I'm such a bad boy! ;)


joe

You certainly are a bad boy OK!!!
im here between my work and the ageless site, trying to make sense to both of them. i explain things the way i think it at that moment like what im doing right now. hope this makes sense,
and you ?, you ......lucky you are up there in the other continent otherwise i will show you a thing or two:D
be quiet ok?
Adri

Hey lady_love.... i will try again.
"Tell him the truth and if he doesnt like it kick him out of your house immediately":D :D :D :D :D
How this one sounds Joey?:p
Adri..... on a monday morning here:rolleyes:

anyway how? or just bring him to my home and say, honey im older than you?

its this relationship getting serious?, i mean ...(Joey be quiet)
do you see a future with him? does he want to be in a more committed relationship with you? if yes...
then i suppose you should tell him on the day of your birthday the number that you actually are (sorry lady, but i can feel joey behind my neck and im going to slap him now), :D :D
aaaah i feel better now:cool:
if its only a casual relationship that neither of you see a future, then you dont need to tell him anything.
regarding how?...you just mention to him that you will be 45 today and yes it was a little white lie, whats the big deal?
Adri

yes its getting serious, in about another 6 months, i could see him and i married, but the reason i dont want to tell him is because he isnt to fond of dating older women nor marrying them, but when we started out dating i lied to him!

If he dumps you over a one year age difference, give me his address so I can give him a swift kick in the junk.

Sorry Adri!!! Slap me all you want, I can take it! http://www.extreme-athlete.com/forums/images/smilies/slap.gif

Okay, I'll behave now, but I was never makin' fun of you. :)


joe

Exactly what i wanted to say DH!!!
if he dumps you becuase of that, He doesnt love you at all then.
and you will be better off without him.

Adri

Originally posted by Joe
Sorry Adri!!! Slap me all you want, I can take it! http://www.extreme-athlete.com/forums/images/smilies/slap.gif

Okay, I'll behave now, but I was never makin' fun of you. :)


joe
Ok i forgive you now:)

Adri

I really do not understand how one year could possibly be a problem, and I totally agree with those two. If it is, he doesn't love you anyway, and you're better off finding out now.
Cripes, women have about a 5 year longer life span than men, so if you get married, he's statistically still likely to leave you a widow for a few years. If he's that shallow of a person, who needs him?

that you being 45 and him being 44 should even be a question, that isn't an age-gap....I'm not trying to be rude, but tell the guy the truth, I would fall over if he should get upset......maybe you should of just been honest to begin with. Really that isn't a big deal! If he gets mad send him over here then he will see, and even learn something from our ym here. Tell the truth....no biggy.

One year difference is not an age gap.


I agree with the others.. either he cares about you, or he doesn't. And if one year will make or break the relationship, than it wasn't really that solid to begin with.

ok today, i invited him to my spa, we talked about the usual stuff, and if we wanted to go further into our relationship, and yes, im so happy - we agreed upon, then i just talked about my birthday and told him im gonna be 46, he got mad about lieing to him, then he "forgave" me, then he got out of the spa, sat down on one of the chairs for 3-4 minutes. he came back and talked to me about the age problem, me being older than he is, then i joked about saying in the future would u have sex again with me knowing he younger and he said yes. i then sat on his lap and he started feeling around :). 1 hr later he left.

im so happy this problem is over with!!!

he probably got more upset about the lie then the age.....see why it's better to tell the truth lol? Now you have to earn his trust, but hey I'm glad it's out in the open and now you can have some peace.....good luck to the both of you!:)

I would be honest and go ahead and tell him. If he has a problem with it, then he probably isn't the right guy for you. If he loves you, though, I doubt it will be a big deal.

I really don't advise lying in a relationship, even if it's something small like that. Be proud of who and what you are - there's no shame in ANYONE being the age they are!

- Jesse