Depressed, looking for my first wrinkle cream....

Hi, I am depressed today, I was out shopping for my first wrinkle cream and something to fade the age spots on my face, I guess I noticed a few freckles, my face isn't as dewy anymore.

I posted this in the chit chat, to share beauty secrets, but I wanted to share my feelings about getting older here.

My YM met me in a church dating website, and he said he would've never imagined falling in love with a older woman.
But he said, "well, you dont look your age, so... " (I am 31, he is 20)

When we go out, people think we are such a cute couple, and they think we met in school!!

I can get away with it now, but not for long, and I want to age with confidence. But I get scared. I am scared about what my YM will think when I start to get my first wrinkles, or when it will be obvious that I am not his age.

I hope it wont sound funny, me complaining at 31, but I am getting to be a mature woman, my face and body is changing and it is obvious to me, and I guess I'm worried cause I dont know how my YM will adjust either. ....

Hunny

I'm not a woman but I can relate to the changes in your body when you are in the 30s.

For me, what always puts things in perspective is seeing what far worse things other folks have to put up with.

What if you were in the hospital recovering from a car wreck where you received burns all over your face?? Did you see some of folks who survived the 9/11 attacks? :(

Some struggles that we face are so trivial in comparison.

This is what I try to remind myself of whenever I go down "pity party" lane.

Not trying to dismiss your worries....just saying "Keep some perspective." If your ym is mature and intelligent, he knows that you are so much more than the wrinkles or freckles on your face. :)

IMHO, women worry FAR too much about things like wrinkles and freckles. If he loves you, it won't bother him. If he DOES have a problem with it, then he's not the guy for you. I'm not saying that you shouldn't take care of yourself, but don't stress over it. In my experience men in general are nowhere near as critical of women's looks as many women fear they are.

- Jesse

Jesse makes a good point... in general women are way more critical of those things than men are.

However, Hunny... I totally know how you feel. I'm 30 and my bf is 20 and I worry about aging too. But I am trying not to obsess about it, as I know wrinkles won't drive him away... but a miserable me obsessed with my looks might not help matters much!

I too think that women tend to worry too much about looks. We have a lot of pressure put on us in the American culture to look like a hollywood starlet.

I have concerns, not as often as I used to, about aging and the way it may effect my relationship with my YM. He doesn't like me looking at women's fashion or glamour magazines. He says they are not healthy for the average woman. And he says those women are not real...they use lighting and makeup for a flawless look...and most women are not going to achieve that.

He thinks I am beautiful and I believe him.

As far as wrinkle creams and stuff go, I don't use them. I do use a good moisturizer for my skin because Colorado has a dry climate. I always make sure I wear sunscreen for my face when I am outdoors and have a good pair of sunglasses and a sunvisor. I don't think squinting in the sun is good when you are wanting to prevent those wrinkles.

I have never been a sun worshipper, because I don't think it is good for the skin.

I began all of these things when I reached 30 and decided that I probably should start thinking about the condition of my skin.

I can definitely relate to what you are worrying about. I know that when I am 40, and he is 26, he is going to wonder what in the hell he is doing with me. I tell him that all the time but, he doesn't listen.

Sailaway>>>


I don't think you will have anything to worry about when you are 40 and he is 26. My former sister-in-law was 42 and her husband was 26 when they got married!

And I am 46 and my fiance is 24. So I wouldn't worry about turning 40. My life began at 44 when I met my prince!

"He doesn't like me looking at women's fashion or glamour magazines. He says they are not healthy for the average woman. And he says those women are not real...they use lighting and makeup for a flawless look...and most women are not going to achieve that."

He's absolutely right. I think that Cosmo et al are actually very destructive things - they don't reflect reality in any way, yet present things in such a way that women often end up fretting over things that they shouldn't worry about.

Think about this - many of us (men) have a hard time recognizing that you just got a haircut - do you think we notice whether the freckles on your left forearm have faded or not???

- Jesse