Advice plz. on HOW TO TELL HIM THE TRUTH?

Hello - I am a 26 yr OW and have a serious crush on a YM. He may be about 22. We have shared a few short and casual conversations for a month now. I can tell he is quite interested but we haven't hanged out yet. The topic of my birthday popped up last week and he asked how old I would become. I told him to guess and he said 22. I laughed and he said 19. I didn't know how to respond but: "Do I really look like 19?" Perhaps he didn't want to push me and hence he said, "it's ok, just say you are 19." After all, I didn't give him the answer.
I really want to gain his trust and decide to tell him the truth next time I see him. My question for you is: HOW should I put it? :confused:

*Thank you* for your time!

Just tell the truth. If he is truly interested, it won't matter. If you lie and then do become involved, you will have to maintain the lie. If he then finds out, he may be angry or hurt that you lied. Why start a potential relationship with lies?

question for you is: HOW should I put it?
--- MQT

Hi mqt,

I am sure the ladies will give you tons of advice.

Here is a guy's perspective: I've always found it silly how women are expected to be coy about their age, and how it should be this delicate, sensitive issue, etc. :rolleyes:

I agree with Genevieve: just tell him how old you are.

Hopefully, you are outgoing enough to follow up by asking him out for something: coffee, lunch, "tea & scones" :D, or whatever.

However, if you're terribly shy, you just may be sunk. Not all guys are going to play the aggressive Alpha-male game, and hunt you down. We seem to run into a number of ladies with this "self-assertiveness problem."

I do hope you snag yourself a ym and join our merry little club.

Good luck!! :)

Originally posted by Harrison
. . . the aggressive Alpha-male, and hunt you down . . .

OOOHHHH, I love these creatures!

But back to the subject at hand - just laughingly come clean and act like it is no big deal, girlfriend. Look around some more on this site and be encouraged and fortified! 4 years is nothing in the scheme of things. Good Luck! :cool:

Originally posted by Nessa
Well a 4 year difference is barely anything as you age. I would just tell him the truth and also if you are interested ask him to take you out for your birthday.

I totally agree with Nessa. I consider 10-20+ yrs. an age gap but 4 yrs.? Nah!

Goodluck to you & Happy Birthday in advance!:D

1. Smile
2. Take deep breath while smiling
3. Say..." I have to fess up to something" (Look mysterious with your eyes)
4. Pause
5. Smile
6. Take deep breath while smiling
7. Say... "I am xx years old. Think that's old enough to ask a guy for coffee at xxxx?"
8. Smile

Thanks Nessa. Applause is always appreciated. I don't think I would ask him to celebrate your birthday (like just you & him). That would be pressure on him to buy a gift etc. If you are having a birthday party... maybe. I am always for starting out slow and simple when I ask the guy out and then they can take it from there.

This was my very first post... and I am VERY touched by all of your responses! You guys make me feel like suddenly having a bunch of new friends. Thank you, genevieve, harrison, nessa, lalisa, ym_nl & yellowrose! :_)

Back to the YM... in fact, he asked me "what are you doing this weekend?" last Friday. I told him last Saturday was my birthday and my friends might do something for me. I was *so nervous* that I didn't realize he might be asking me out! I pray for him to ask me again... I wish I would have the guts to execute yellowrose's classy suggestion. Yet, this age secret is the first priority to be dealt with.

Harrison: you are right, it is just silly to coy about one's age. I normally don't care about my age but I was worried too much about what this guy would think. *sign*

"Here is a guy's perspective: I've always found it silly how women are expected to be coy about their age, and how it should be this delicate, sensitive issue, etc."

I agree!

To the original poster;

This is very, very easy...

1) Walk up to him
2) Invite him to this birthday thing your friends are throwing "for your 26th birthday."
3) If taking him to the birthday thing isn't an option, go up and say "You know how I told you that my 26th birthday is on Saturday, and I'm going out with friends? I was wondering if you'd help me celebrate it with dinner on Sunday" (or something like that).

Just throw the age thing out there, and ask him out. Most men I know (me included) just like women to be direct and tell us things - there's no reason to make this into something complicated. It probably isn't a big deal to him at all.

- Jesse

Well, you never gave him a definite answer, did you? So really, you being 19 is just his assumption, and was never confirmed by you -- therefore it's not a lie.

Perfect opening: "So, are you going to try and guess my age again?" then maneuver him to the right number.

Buy him a coffee as the prize for guessing correctly (no matter how many tries it takes!).........

Harrison: you are right, it is just silly to be coy about one's age. I normally don't care about my age but I was worried too much about what this guy would think.
--- mqt

Yeah, I understand! I think you've made too much out of what is just a tiny difference (4 years).

It's kind of like a woman's bust, and how women get worked up over that. It's sexy, but it's not all that big of a deal. It's just one discrete little part of you. :D

I think that the way you act is probably of more interest to the ym you're interested in. If you act 22 to him (similar tastes in music, hobbies, movies etc.), then you might as well be 22.

Thanks Jesse, savannah and harrison (again) for your uplifting advices!

I'd just like to close this thread. Million thanks to all of you who had spent time with me here. *HUG*