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I can't get in the chat room and I could really use someone to chat with.

<cry>

What's going on Kalri? :)

I just made a deal with my x regarding the divorce. I just want it done with. My lawyer is going to kill me, but I'm tired of everything. It's starting to affect my health, can't stay asleep, losing weight, not to mention I have days when I'm a ***** on wheels. My kids deserve better than that, and in the long run, the money just isn't worth it.

It's been going on for a year now. That's long enough.

Yeah, when it starts affecting your health and your relationships, time to let go. Material stuff just isn't that important. It's only money, and you'll make it back in time. I know exactly how you feel. I walked away from my marriage with nothing. In fact, he STILL owes me money, and this was in May of 1990. I was just so happy to be out of it, that alone made me feel better physically and emotionally.

Originally posted by Kalri
I just made a deal with my x regarding the divorce. I just want it done with. My lawyer is going to kill me, but I'm tired of everything. It's starting to affect my health, can't stay asleep, losing weight, not to mention I have days when I'm a ***** on wheels. My kids deserve better than that, and in the long run, the money just isn't worth it.

It's been going on for a year now. That's long enough.


I know exactly what you mean Kalri, and I know how you feel. My ongoing battle lasted 11 months and may continue once I sit down and actually come to reality. All four trials affected my health, social being, and finances. I was a major wreck all four times but this last one on August 26 has erupted a traumatic effect in my life now. Luckily i have the support of friends and of course, THE WEIGHTS to help me cope. I still can't sleep and throughout the day I find myself in a trance just staring away and trying to figure where I went wrong with my marriage and not being able to see my son. People are reassuring me that it's her and the court system putting me through this, but then again, you can't trusy any lawyer to represent you correctly. :mad:
I, out of a million dads, am fighting for my son and it's sad to say that the system is the one who separates the father from the child.
I'm fed up too, but I feel I am too weak to carry on another battle. I don't give up on anything, but this is something I can't control. But I am prepared to give my son all the answers when he tries to "escape" to me.

I am still in a shock and denial stage at the present time, and I have a little while longer until this whole ordeal finally starts to settle in.

Kalri, keep your head up and remember that you never give up until the day you are six feet under, that is what my drill instructor told me in USMC boot camp!
Stay strong, and things will start to become more clear in what you should do.

But right now, try to relax, and do some activities. Preferably something physical like hitting the punching bag and/or the weights.

I know what you're going throug and I'm here if you need support. :)

I'll keep you in prayer, (hugs)

joe http://pages.prodigy.net/rogerlori1/emoticons/happycry.gif

Not quite the same thing but I will share with you.

20 yrs ago I divorced my abusive cheating husband. He swore he would take away my children if I tried to divorce him. I had no family, he had a close one. I had not worked so I could stay home and raise my children, he had a good job. He had forbidden me to have friends, he had lots of friends.

When I finally got the nerve to divorce him I was so afraid of him I gave him everything he wanted in the divorce, the house and joint custody of the children. I left with a suitcase. I thought because I had stayed home and raised my children that there would be nothing he could do to sway them against me. I was SO wrong. He portrayed me as an abandoning parent and my son believed him. He stalked me, and would wait in my drive way at 11pm with my children in the car to be sure I got home from my date and that I was home at a reasonable hour. I was allowed to go out 1 night a week. I was so weak, I can't believe at this time that this was me. He left messages on my phone and wrote me letters that would curl your eyeballs.

Gradually, partly due to counseling, I grew a spine, I disconnected my answering machine, I returned letters unopened.

It has taken til my older son was in his 20s til he could even speak to me again. He was 10 when we divorced. We are still mending. I love him with all my heart, but we are very.... lets say different. He reminds me of my ex husband. But he is my son. We still have time and now when we talk on the phone we end the conversation with "I love you" You have no idea how much that means. My daughter was torn to shreds by this conflict and I'm sure it will haunt her all her life. Fortunately she was able to love both her father and I. She is a miracle.

Some divorces can be uglier than anyone can imagine, I guess what I am trying to say here is that 20 some years later we all survived. We all love each other. I lost more money than I can say but I don't want his money. I am happy and my children love me. No matter how bad it seems, it can be ok. Later maybe, but it will be ok.

Joe, if you're tired, and you decide to take a break from the battle, don't blame yourself. Robin did just that. He's waiting until his son is 12 and can tell the court who he wants to live with. Sometimes, I guess life is tragically unfair, the wrong people get hurt, and we just have to deal with it anyway. Save all of your court papers so you can tell him how hard you fought to get him, and how unjustly things turned out, but that you always loved him.

Swanqueen, there are a bunch of us here who had jackass exes. Our exes were so much alike, we all started joking that we must have all been married to the same man! Yours sounds a lot like the others. We are survivors and should be proud of what we made it through and who we are now! :)

Yes, Swanqueen, it's true, I think we were all married to the same man. Since many of them are named Bill (pls, no offense to the nice Bills on the site) we refer to our exes as the Billys.

Kalri, my best wishes are with you.

Kye