Question for those inage gap with 20 something young man

Maybe this question was asked before, but i was wondering how many older women that are in age gap relationships started with the young man wanting to keep it light and fun and not get serious and if so at what point did things change? Should i even enter in to a relationship where the young man wants this? He is mid 20's and basically just starting out with a career and financially not real stable( not sure this may be playing into it). Any advice would be appreciated or any signs i should look for that may be negative or positive. Thanks

In my experience, neither of us were looking for a relationship at all. Most certainly not with someone 23 yrs older/younger than ourselves. There was such a connection tho, that we became fast and close friends, and stayed as such for a whole year. It slowly turned to a deep. deep love, where it has stayed since.

I think this guy is showing signs that he is not ready for anything serious. Just be friends with him, date and stuff, see where it takes you. If it's meant to be something more, then it will become so.

:)
Kye

I agree. You have to expect this from young guys.

They are in the middle of establishing themselves and finding their niche as well as growing into their skin. We all have at some point or another.

Be friends, keep it lite if that's what YOU want. If its not, don't go for it just because he's available and you're in need. you also have to decide if you can do this for the long term or you're looking for a more serious relationship. In other words, don't waste your time or his.

Paris

all around this answers are great... This Board.. has a nice community.

sounds like you want more than to keep it light, or are you asking if its approriate to do so? if the latter,
his finicial position is not a reason to keep things light, at least the way i see it. read this thread http://www.agelesslove.com/boards/showthread.php?threadid=5749 if your in the former. and good luck

Seems to be the later

Yep. We swore up and down for a wide variety of reasons that this was a casual relationship. I guess I should've known there was potential trouble as were GOOD friends and the potential for love was definitely there. I dunno. I kinda figured the age gap would magically prevent that from happening (at least not to both of us simultaneously).

Yeah sure.

We lasted about 3 months after sex before we admitted we were in love with each other.

As for you - I can't tell you what to do. It's fine if you can enjoy yourself no matter which way it goes and probably not such a good idea if you're wedded to a particular outcome. (No pun intended).

If you really, really, really want more with him, then it could end up a bit painful. If you're not sure, then it might be worthj your while to spend some time and find out.

Just be honest with him about where you're at. If your feelings are strong, tell him you're willing to give the casual thing a try, but you may need to get out if it becomes too hard for you.

And then do it, if the feelings intensify and they aren't being returned.

Lets see...I went into this having every intention of having no relationship at all...casual or otherwise! LOL

At first I viewed it as a one-time thing...okay, we are attracted to each other, we spent some time together, things got out of hand...Im not going to let that happen again!!! I don't know if he really felt the same, but I do know that we both went into it not planning on a serious relationship.

It was more like...whoops, what have I done...hey, I guess it would not hurt to just date casually....then, wow I have some some really strong feelings for this guy....and so on and so forth.

Honestly, I don't think that anyone goes into a relationship right at the beginning knowing if it will turn out long term or not...you just think, I enjoy being with this person, he makes me smile, he makes me feel good about me...and see where it leads. My situation, which at one time had me actually say to my young man "Don't fall in love with me, it will be too complicated" has now turned into 3 years of "i love you"

You just never can tell, can you? *smiles*

I appreciate those of you who replied to my thread esp. those with a significant age gap. I will proceed with caution because my heart tells me he really cares. He actually is approaching his late 20's. We will just have to see but i feel i cannot walk away without giving it a try. Thank you all for all your support over the years. I couldn't have worked through this situation without knowing there are relationships out there like this that work! Wish me luck. Love you guys!!!!