Severe anxiety

I haven't been around much lately. I was on holidays, and then when I got back I ended up going in and out of the hospital due to severe anxiety. I've spent most of my adult life with depression and anxiety, and I've also spent a lot of time trying to hide it from people, which is exhausting.

There is a chance I may be hospitalized for a short period. I just feel like I can't deal with things sometimes. Everything is overwhelming at times. I'm still trying to finalize a divorce, still trying to get used to living alone (which I HATE), dealing with the fact that I have very few friends and no family here in Vancouver, and it's too much for me.

My ym is trying so hard to understand, but he doesn't. He thinks everything is fine... he wonders why my divorce should bother me at all when I have him (and he is WONDERFUL and so sweet and caring) but he doesn't understand that I'm mourning the loss of the life I used to have (I used to own a nice condo, had two cats, nice-ish furniture, I played violin and took art lessons, now I live in a bare apartment that doesn't allow pets, little furniture, and I'm renting, and can no longer afford my music or art lessons). I'm not mourning the loss of my ex-husband, since our relationship has been dead for a looong time.

Anyway... enough self-pity. Has anyone had to deal with severe anxiety? I've been put on medication (10 mg Celexa/day, and Clonazepam until the Celexa kicks in). I'm worried about gaining weight. I would love to hear if anyone has had similar experiences with anxiety or Celexa.... PM me if you would prefer. I would really appreciate this!

Not the anxiety but the change in lifestyle. No friends or family, no money, divorce that while no great loss emotionally is a loss of a DREAM if nothing else. That's enough to drive most people at least near the edge. I tend towards depression more than anxiety but am not severe with that either. Usually I can pull out of it with some tlc directed towards myself, since there is ABSOLUTELY no one else to give it to me.

I know you wanted more specific information, but I am just letting you know that I understand. Whatever that's worth.

Pinkcat, I am so sorry to hear you're going through this. I'm going through a divorce that started out more on the friendly side, but got nasty once he started getting angry. Not knowing how things will turn out is very anxiety provoking.

Like Jannie, I too have suffered from anxiety almost all of my life. I was put on an anti anxitey med, buspar, but I'm one of those people that don't like taking meds, and quit taking it, even though it seemed to be working. I worry about everything, and once I get over a hurdle, I find something else to worry about. My mom's like that, so I guess I take after her.

I think you should try to get into some kind of therapy. If I could afford it I would. I'm not sure how your finances are, but I sure can relate to worrying about money when going from a 2 income to a 1 income family.

The best thing I can offer you is to get a good support system. You have that here, and you have your man. But friends that let you pop over anytime to vent are good to have too.

Well my 14 year is home and wants a ride to the movies.. I'll be here later if you want talk.

K

Pink-I'm sorry to hear too...i don't have much to add because all the women prior have posted so well. Change, in itself, is just plain hard....add to that LOSS...of family, friends, income, lifestyle....sometimes it DOES SEEM overwhelming even to those of us who are not prone to anxiety or depression. Please DO check out counseling...do u have a university nearby? ....often they are a great resource for counseling esp. if your budget cannot handle the 95 and up/hr. office fees....most ins. companies will pay 50% for a certain number of visits...if u have ins. you might want to check with them first. Weight gain CAN happen with any of those meds...as well as weight loss...it is often individual...but if u can say to yourself, i will just do 5 min. of SOMETHING in the form of exercise everyday...that is a great start...if u dont have hand weights, you can even grab soup cans out of the cabinet and use those for starters.....lifting weight of any kind will help as will a good walk just for clarity=). My heart goes out to u....plz know you have many friends here who DO care....about YOU. Hugs and goodluck pink...keep us updated and DONT isolate yourself....Darla

these were some way people said anxiety can be helped:

Acupressure

Acupuncture

Aromatherapy

Breathing Techniques

Exercise

Herbal Medicine

Massage Therapy

Meditation

Nutrition and Diet Therapy

Prayer/Spirituality

Reflexology

Relaxation Response

Shiatsu

Tai Chi Chuan

Tissue Salts

Vitamin and Supplements


and other alternatives...
Yoga

Alexander Technique

Arts therapies

Auricular therapy

Biofeedback

Color Therapy

Hypnotherapy

Imagery

Kinesiology

Sound Therapy

Therapeutic Touch


Good Luck Pink.

I have never suffered from anxiety or depression, so I don't have much to contribute in this regard.

However, on the subject of therapy and funds for therapy, check with your employers . . . more and more employers these days have an EAP program and many employees don't know it. So check with them on that.

As for change, and we all go through various changes all through our lives, there is a cute little book that deals very well with change called "Who Moved My Cheese." Everyone probably should read it, but especially people who are going through major life changes.

PinkCat, I've been there too.

For me--well, I quit the job I was at because it exaccerbated the anxiety.

As for meds, just one thing that no one has talked about: side effects. I've never taken Clozapan or any of it's clones, but I did work in a group home where several clients took it. It caused extreme tiredness, and is one of those drugs that *can* leave you feeling very "dopey".

Personally I had the worst experience with Prozac--it, too, took me from bad to worse because one of the side effects of Prozac COULD be--more anxiety. I was one of those lucky few.

Talk over ALL side effects with your doctor. Just because one drug is good or bad for someone doesn't mean it will work for everyone, or give everyone a negetive side effect. Just REALLY really look into your meds so that when something comes up, perhaps a side effect, you are ready for it.

Hang in there PinkCat, it will get better. I'm just glad that you are getting help!

I suffer from axienty ALOT! the depression comes and goes.. Lately my axienty has gotten worse.. I think will see a doctor soon.

Pinkcat, I have suffered from anxiety attacks since I was 16.

There are periods of my life where they are more prevalent than others. I think you're going through such a period.

Have you ever been in a grocery store, and suddenly felt like you were going to faint? Your heart starts racing, your palms sweat, and you can't quite catch your breath? Well, it's happened to me, and my doctor prescribed Xanex for such episodes. I don't take them all the time, only when I feel very anxious, like a panic attack is coming on. I'm on the weakest dose. I feel more anxious when I'm PMSing, right before my period.

One thing I learned about panic attacks...you have one hours, maybe days, after a thought triggers the attack. You can be thinking about a painful event hours or days ago, and then relax, and THEN your body decides to respond. It's like your body wants to run away, but your mind is saying "NO!!!"

This is where counseling comes in. It's imperative that people with anxiety attacks attend counseling. If you can find a therapist who knows how to teach "The Map Of Emotions", you will be able to live almost anxiety-free. Most of us were raised in families that hid feelings, and punished those that dared to display negative ones. Most of us were raised in homes where parents didn't cope well with stress, loss, and other situations. Therefore, WE weren't taught those skills either. The Map Of Emotions teaches coping skills and recognizing feelings. You can do both the counseling and the medication, but the more you are in charge of coping, the less medication you're going to need.

Good luck, you're certainly not alone! :)

LOL @ Mano!!! :D

Originally posted by PinkCat


Anyway... enough self-pity. Has anyone had to deal with severe anxiety? I've been put on medication (10 mg Celexa/day, and Clonazepam until the Celexa kicks in). I'm worried about gaining weight. I would love to hear if anyone has had similar experiences with anxiety or...............
Pinkcat, I have been there, what is so weird is me and Will were just talking about it tonight.
I just went through a 2 year divorce, I lost many things.....
This board has no idea in the world of some of the things that happened to me in the divorce!!
I didn't get anxiety over that , thank God, I thought that I would hit rock bottom, but I didn't..I held strong....
But let me back up to 6 years ago...........
I had sever anxiety/panic attacks, so sever I went to the emergency room in hopes of committing myself. I went home on XANAX........
i WENT TO A PHYSICOLOGIST AFTER WHO PUT ME ON A DRUG FOR ANXIETY/DEPRESSION CALLED PAXIL...
OPPS SORRY FOR THE CAPS:) I was just too lazy to edit :p

It was the WORST thing that could have ever happened to me, the anxiety became more sever. The doc said this was due to my body getting used to the paxil!! OMG it was so bad!!
That was it for me, I thought to myself "drugs scare me, and this Paxil is a DRUG!!"
I went to my local library and READ READ READ.........for me I learned calming excercises, and natural remedies, like no caffeine, or limited and LOW LOW SUGAR!!!

I barely ever took the Xanax unless I was feeling the paniac, from books I learned to "Float" with the paniac attacks.
I have not had paniac attacks or any drugs since than.
Thank God!!

Pink Cat, I would not worry about the weight gain, I would worry about the withdrawal effects , if any from the Celebex, I have heard that for some it is a very bad withdrawl!
I know you have probably weighed your options out, but drugs definately should be the last resort.
At least for me it would be, be caeful please, it just seems that docs are so willing to solve our problems with a magic pill, and hey for some it is needed, for some it is not.
Thats my opinion.
Pinkcat, read about anxiety, it helped me.
I wish you the best, it will get better Pink!!
~Hugzzzz

I am overwhelmed by your support, everyone (in a good way)! This is such a great board. I've received a ton of PMs too... but my box became full and I got e-mails saying I got PMs but they don't all seem to be there... so if I don't respond personally, that's why.

Thank you so much, everyone.

Swanqueen, you are right... the dream is something else I'm mourning as well. I feel like I'm starting all over again, like I'm almost back where I was when I was 20 or so (and since my bf is 20, that contributes to that feeling). I feel like the last ten years of my life has been largely wasted, like I've gone backward. It's not true... I finished university during that time, and some other things too... but that's how it feels. Thanks for sharing your experience.

Julianne, thank you for letting me know that you have been through that too. It's hard... one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. You are so right, exercise is totally important. I'm trying to drag my sorry carcass to the gym a couple times a week, lol. It's sometimes hard to motivate myself but I def. feel better after I do.

Kalri, I totally know what you mean... I hate taking meds too. I've resisted for months now. I have been prescribed different stuff by several different doctors, and I refused to fill any of the prescriptions, because I was scared to get back on drugs. I definitely need therapy, hardcore. I'm supposedly on a waiting list for an outpatient group at a local hospital's psych ward (presuming I don't become an inpatient). I'm eager for that to start because I think it will help me a lot.

Singalou, you are sooo sweet. What you said really made me feel better... about having people here that care. Sometimes it really feels like there's no one who understands, you know? It's nice be proven wrong sometimes.

Manofmisteree, I've always been interested in acupuncture, but never tried it. Have you ever had that done? I think it would definitely be something I might find helpful.

Peachy51, I'm not sure about whether or not my work benefits plan covers that stuff, but if I get the referral to the psych outpatient thing, I think it's covered by my provincial health insurance (I live in Canada). I will definitely keep an eye out for that book... I love books like that!

Larasteel, I tried Paxil once in the past. That is supposedly very similar to Prozac. It also made me very anxious, so much so that I could not sleep without a sleeping pill. That can't be good! I quit that after about a week. The Clonazepam definitely makes me feel dopey. Fortunately I only have to take it until I start to feel the benefits of the Celexa, about 3-4 weeks.

SubZero, I'm sorry to hear that you also suffer from this. I wouldn't wish this on anyone!!

Polly, yep, I have had those feelings. It's very scary and difficult to deal with. Once or twice I've actually been mistaken for "drunk" as I get dizzy and stagger a little. Not fun! I remember a while back you saying that therapy helped you develop coping skills, which you didn't really learn when you were younger. I think I am in the same boat there, and am hoping that therapy can help me with that also.

SnowPrincess, I agree... doctors are far too eager to just prescribe a pill and send you on your way. That's why in the past I've refused to fill so many prescriptions... it scares me to think of my body as a sort of experiment. I too avoid caffeine and sugar. They just make me too anxious and sick.

Blondie, that is just awful that you felt persecuted after 9/11. That is so unfair and it makes me mad. That would definitely exacerbate anyone's anxiety. Thank you for sharing your experience.

Nessa, I'm sooo sorry that you've had these similar problems. (((HUGS))) How have you felt after being hospitalized -- has it ever helped you deal with things better? I'm really scared of having to do that. Another Dr. prescribed me Remuron once... I can't remember why, but I couldn't take it for some reason. I am extremely sensitive to side-effects. I'm worried about the Celexa killing my sex-drive, too. I have only been taking it a week, and I already am losing interest, I swear (keep in mind I used to want it 24/7, haha). I'm worried about that aspect of things... when I was married I went on Luvox and lost all interest in sex... and that is one of the things that led to us growing apart and ultimately our divorce.

Raven Magdalene, you are so sweet! That was so nice, what you said. I know what you mean, I wish I had a Fairy Queen to take care of me like that. I'm sort of missing my mother these days, too, for that reason. She lives kind of far away but has been phoning most days since she knows I'm not feeling well.

((HUGS)) to everyone. Thank you all so much for your responses and support. I can't express how much it means to me.

Pinkcat, I'm sorry that you're feeling bad. I hope that you find something that helps you to feel better. I had suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. I had taken many medications over the years, and the only thing that has kept me depression free for the past two and one half years is talking to my husband. I had spent many years in and out of therapy before, but I continued to have the terrible depression. Many times I was so depressed that I couldn't even get out of bed - I'd lie in bed for days, sometimes weeks, at a time. My husband helped me so much by taking the time to talk to me every time that he noticed that I have something bothering me. He insists that I talk to him until I feel better. Even when I tell him that nothing is bothering me, he won't let me go out of the room until I open up and tell him every single thing that is on my mind. It's strange, but sometimes when I think that nothing major is upsetting me, by talking to him I realize that there really is something deep inside that has been disturbing me. After I talk it all out, I feel so much better (sometimes it takes hours). Even if the same thing continues to come up and bother me, he encourages me to talk about it over and over again. I have never had a person like him in my life before and I thank God for him. I got off all my meds for depression a few months after we were together and haven't taken any since. I don't know if there is anyone that you could talk to, Pinkcat. I know that when I talked to other people before, it never helped me like talking to my husband does. Maybe you could talk with your boyfriend if you feel comfortable enough (actually, I didn't feel comfortable at all, but my husband insisted and I'm greatful). Maybe it would help. Until my husband, I was depressed most of the time and was determined that it was a biochemical imbalance. I was told that it was a biochemical imbalance and medication *did* help me, but...........for some reason my husband's patient listening and non-judgemental attitude and emotional support have helped me more than anything ever did. I hope that you will feel better soon. I will keep you in my prayers.

My god whisper, you are blessed beyond measure. What a beautiful man you have.

Thank you, Swan. I really am blessed and try to remember to appreciate what I have each and every day. It's so easy to take things for granted!

Hi Pinkcat!

I'm 31 too, this is Hunny, I spent the last 10 years with anxiety, all my best years as a young woman, in and out of hospitals. I did have personal stressors in life, like everyone, but only learned recently that I have blood sugar sensitivities, and I'm real sensitive to diet.

My health wasnt actually good, which made it harder to handle the problems in life. I had to go on a good diet and get off of white sugar and too much white bread and stuff.

Aspartame or Nutrasweet in diet sodas was giving me accelerated heart rates and panic attacks, so I got off of those as well.

The doctors first prescribed me meds, I been through all that. It took 10 long years though to find out that Im sugar, artificial sugar and carb sensitive, and eating healthy has been my only solution to handling my emotions.

I also take a vitamin B-6 supplement as often as I can which helps with emotions too.

I've also been able to sleep better and get off sleeping pills when I cut out the excess sugar and refined carbs. Many people are sugar and carb sensitive without even knowing it, even if they have never been formally diagnosed as diabetic.

hope I can help somebody,

Hunny

Oh hun, I feel for ya. I have had anxiety in my past and agraphobia, its is paralyzing sometimes, I feel ur pain. I also know mourning a lost life. I too am getting divorced, have been for a year but he just left in June. It is hard to start over and have none of the things u are used to. I am lucky i was able to keep my house so I didnt have to move, altho i would love to lose my cats haha. but it is so hard to live alone. Seriously, take care of U, Im sorry Ur YM isnt quite understanding of ur loss. And we are here any time, but please take care of u, if u feel u need to be hospitalized dont neglect yourself. I for one will hold u in my prayers and send u blessings, all my love take care. Diana

Hi Pinkcat,

You asked about Anxiety and I have gone through that so Im going to comment on what it took to get me calmed down and back on track, and I was like you, I felt like a baby bird who'd been thrown (even if i threw myself !) out of her nest when I first moved up here after my divorce.

I had heart pains and I would panic so bad I had a few times I had to close my store and I would just sit in the dark in my office in the corner and cry. Id let myself cry it out and then open back up, sad huh? Also back in May of this year it finally came to a head when I could not/did not want to get out of bed for a week.

If you knew me youd know I cant stay in bed past 6 or 7am tops each morning so this was ODD. I had no desire to get out of bed. A friend had to come help me get my daughter to school and my 6 year old for one week just about had a useless mother other than lots of snuggling.

So I called my doctor and got Xanax not at his reccomendation but at a friends.

PAXIL is horrible stuff by the way, I dont like Prozac or any of those either.

I think I know why . Paxil, Zoloft, Prozac et al are for depression and I think MANY of us are not so much depressed as anxiety stricken and full of worry and angst.
So you take that stuff and it makes you worse because you really didnt even need it.

I did my own research and found out Xanax is more for anxiety.

So my doctor put me on .125 to .25 mg of Xanax a day. This is a teensy bit of the stuff but it works for me if I take it before bed (you get a bit sleepy and so i sleep through that part and wake up just nice and calm).

You cant drink on Xanax however but thats ok I rarely drink and I have to plan to drink now. Say Im going to a gathering where I know I will drink, I dont take it a day or two before and Im fine.

If you drink with it, it can be EXTREMELY addictive. It is not for someone who drinks a lot. And I wouldnt get on it taking large doses though you may need more than me if your really bad off right now.

All I can say is no chest pains since I started on it, No panic attacks UNLESS I forget to take it or run out and dont get it filled.

My bf notices the difference in me on/off of it. Off of it I start to worry and fret, analyze every detail to the negative and over react to little things like him having to go to bed earlier than usual (LOL ). Tru has been an angel in 2 of these episodes and been there while I was just fretting and worrying .

Of course see a doctor, dont just go on it like I did, but I had to do it this way because our doctor up here on this mountain is a bit of a quack. He tells people who say they are depressed to 'Find Jesus". Nothing wrong with Jesus but I already found him!! hehe. So I had to do re search, ask friends and figure out what was best for me and guess what???

I did better than my other docs who prescribed Paxil and Zoloft.

Those things made me SO bad. Please dont take those, plus they kill your sex drive.

Ok sorry its so long but thats my experience and how I solved it.
I may be on Xanax for a while. But when I look back on the 2 years of suffering I did off of Xanax I am REALLY happy to have found it. And when I really look back it was more like 10 years of suffering.........maybe longer. And all that time having Docs put me on the things like prozac and paxil and them making me worse, tired, no energy, no motivation. Yuck!!

Heather

ps since i went on it ive lost almost all the weight id gained (25 lbs and about 10 to go). Im working out, Im dealing with severe business stress like a champ and I handle most stuff well with no symptoms of anxiety. Please ask your doctor about it :)