Define "family".

Is it me, or is the general assumption that without kids, there can't be family?

My girl has kids of her own that are all grown up, and I have never wanted kids in my life, nor do I want them now. So we're very happy with that and we still plan to spend our lives together. Yet does that mean her and I aren't each others "family"?

I didn't think that children made a couple suddenly and magically turn into a family. Everytime people talk about it at work, and I tell them my situation with my girl, they keep asking that one line, "Yes, but don't you want to have a family of your own?" And I just reply with, "She is my family. And I'm happy with that, and she's happy with being my family too." But I'm always being told that it doesn't make sense to call yourselves family if you don't have kids.

So, I want to know what people in here define as family. Is it mum, dad and the kids? Because if that were the case, two-thirds of people in the Western World don't have a family since they're divorced with the partners they had kids with. Or, does it mean children? If children make up the difference between a "couple" and "family", then does this mean a couple could never be classified as being a family and having a family home, or being considered a family unit?

I could even start a whole new threat on "Is saying I don't want kids that sacreligious?" *L*

Personally I love it when people who don't want children don't have them. I mean to feel any pressure to have them unless you are truly desirous of children is unfair to yourself and the children.

A very close friend of mine and her husband decided not to have children They were a very happy couple. I asked her once if she didn't feel like she missed something. She said sure, and don't you too? I thought about it and yes. I have missed out on a lot while raising my children. I don't regret it but definitely yes.

You could extend your question to those even more nontraditional families where there is a same sex couple who can't marry because of the law. I know they feel like they are family.

But where does the boundary of family and "friends I love" end then? Hmmm. Don't know. Are you a family if you aren't married? More questions than answers here. What does the dictionary say about family?

But in his case they don't live together right now, so.... aren't they family? I guess family is whoever you CONSIDER to be family. Where ever they are, however related.

Yes I think family is with you no matter what, even when you are a jerk :) Or going through hard times. And family has nothing to do with blood. You're right about that. Adoption proves this point.

Hm, tough one ... I doubt I have a very strict definition of family, but I when I talk about my ym's family, I mean his parents/siblings, when I talk about my family, I mean my parents/sibling, when I talk about the two of us, I generally would consider us a "couple".

But tbh, I wouldn't have any issues with anyone who would define himself and his spouse as a family, either, even if there wasn't any "extended family" ;)

And I never really wanted kids too etc., so I know where you are coming from ;) and yes, some people seem to find this "sacreligeous", don't know why though - maybe it's threatening to their way of life <shrugs>.

Still, on a sidenote: I sometimes get this "why don't you get kids" thrown at me, especially from my siblings (who all have kids). They know I am not too keen on having some, though, so I basically don't get why they keep asking the question ... - mind you, when this question was asked again last night, my older sister - non-jokingly, mind you! - interrupted saying something along the line "omg, she better not get any at all, you could only pity those kids" ... Tbh, I found that quite mean and uncalled for :( but I guess, that's family for you too, lol :rolleyes:

I just wanted to throw in a thought here. Sometimes people who *are* related to you are not family. Both my parents were raised by abusive parents. Because of that, I have never considered my mom's biological mother or my dad's biological father to be part of my family. I have never referred to either of them "grandma" or "grandad". My mom's stepmother, however, is one of the kindest and most generous people in the world and I most definitely consider her my grandma. So I think you can pick your family to an extent and decide what family is for yourself.

Good point Pink-Panther, I mean about choosing your family members. My step mother is legally my family but I would never consider her that and will never see her again. Same with my half brother. Don't even know if they are still alive.

I would go with most of the posts above, it is actually the closest people in my life that I consider to be my family, in this case it would be my friends who have helped me many times, and I have helped them.