Encouragement Wanted

Before I start I want to apologize up front for what will probably end up into a long read.

Recently I was talking with a male friend of mine. In the middle of what I thought was a very normal conversation he said to me, "You don't like us very much, do you?". I had no clue what he was talking about. I asked him. "Who? Who don't I like?". He looked at me very seriously and replied, "Men.". I was dumbfounded for a second, laughed it off and told him sure I like men. No more was said about it.

After having thought about it for a few days I realize I had made a few comments unknowingly at the time. And after taking these few days to reflect I have to say that he perhaps was on to something. While I honestly do like men I truthfully have to say I am extremely disappointed in them..or maybe I should be in myself, I don't know.

Let's see..to give you an idea of my past dating experiences, I dated a guy with one brown eye/one white eye who ordered 'yemonade' to drink and slurps b-b-q sauce off his fingers on our first date. I affectionately refer to him as "Yemmy"..~laffs~ Then there was the guy who went to college, never completed it but somehow had a degree of some sort. I'm not sure in what..loonytoons I think! He did tell me he studied 'moosh'rooms in school and literally ran to a small patch of them while we were walking. This is the same guy that found a little plastic flower on the ground and proceeded to hand it to me with a smile only the mother of a three year old could love. He is now known as "the mooshroom man".

Then there was the minister's son. Cute lil bugger but really had some growing up to do. When he was with his friends he acted like he didn't know me if we bumped into each other. Planned dates were okay though...hmmm.... Then we have the hippy throw back who was very, very intelligent but couldn't seem to find a job he liked. His past time included slaying dragons in role play and drinking from dusk till dawn. Let's see..oh yeah...there was the dad of a two year old. He was a really decent guy..I thought. Christmas day two years ago he and his son came to the house. The left that night, the baby hugged me and kissed me..dad did the same..said I'll talk to you later sweetheart and I never heard from him again. And for those of you wondering, yes, I did call him after but to no avail.

hmm...well, we have the prison guard. He was a little guy with big tattoos..are tattoos a requisite for little guys or what?? Do they make them feel tougher?? ~laffs~ I dunno..but his whole back...~shrugs~ Anyhow, nice guy but a little odd in his own right. Maybe working with cons do that to ya?? Oh yes, can't forget Dean..also a prison guard. Such a handsome guy from a good family. Owned his own home and kept good care of himself. He baffled me though. Hugs..he loved hugs..but that's it. Several months of hugs only and he told me I was too needy..~lol~ umm..alrighty then! hmmm..cons again???

Now we won't get into the married liars or the cheating boyfriends who conveniently forget they have g/f's sitting at home waiting for them. Nor will we get into the NASA engineer who, it seemed, had a woman or two in at least five states. I could go on but I won't. You get the picture.

So now, tell me...is it at all understandable why I feel a little put off by the male species?? I won't dispute that there are good guys out there. I will, however, tell you that I have yet to meet one! And please..no offense meant to anyone. And thanks for letting me vent!! :D

:D :D
Girl, are you picky!!

Hehe, I know what you mean, you haven't had much luck. And I sure could have compiled a similar list, although fortunately I also have a list of good guys who left good memories, even if things didn't work out well for different reasons.

And you know, other women would have been happy with those guys, depending on their expectations. You have higher ones, which I do, too, so the "offer" is restricted. You'll have to be patient if you don't want to settle for less.

There are good ones out there, but a pearl is a rare thing, not so easy to find...

Btw, yeah, what is it with small guys and tattoos? :rolleyes:

OMG I could have written that post. My god if I did. Wow what stories I could tell. That is too funny. Seriously. Not the exact same experiences but along the same line. I am so ... flabbergasted.

My dad always said I was too picky.

I am going to try to post my rebuttal, I mean the same story differnent scenarios.

I have to think about them though and I try not to :D

I agree with you Julianne! I recently dated a 44 yr old (I'm 34) and he was something else. And on top of being flaky...everytime I did something he liked, he told me "good girl" as if I was a dog doing his bidding. What a putz!! And then he started calling me "buddy pet names" like "Hey pal"..."How's it going, buddy?"....not the most romantic way to speak to someone you just started dating. Did he really think I would get into him speaking to me this way? Yikes!

But for me...it's been a very SLOW dating period. I must be sending some vibe out cause I haven't been asked out in ages! Darn...gotta get on that! :-)

1. Seemed like a good man. Loved me very much, wanted me to stay home and have his babies. When I said no he said I wasn't a good Christian. Spent way too much money. Years later his new wife called me, he drove her to bankruptcy. He was a son of a beech. Very mean to her.

2. Man with custody of his two children. He seemed overwhelmed. I thought I could help, he was too critical of them. I tried to be good to them and maybe soften him up. I mentioned this on line before. Had a date with him on thursday. His birthday was saturday. His kids and I had a big party planned. When he didn't show up I called his house.... his ex wife had moved back in on Friday. HMMMM.

3. Another Christian man. Said he used to date women only for sex and their looks but he felt God was telling him he needed to find a good woman. So he dated me. Trouble was I was way too ugly for him.

4. Next man I dated. Christian. Was very troubled because I was way too good looking and all he could think about was sex. So he broke up with me.

5. Totally non christian liberal democrat :D Bald, dentures, fat. Grocery store dairy manager. Poorer than a church mouse. But we could talk and talk. We used to play trivial pursuit til 4 am and not even notice the time. We were good friends. He was addicted to pornography and couldn't have sex with a woman.

6. Single father on welfare, custody of his daughter, going to nursing school. Could never be where he said he would be or do what he said he would do. I loved his daughter and watched her all the time while he was in school. He was there when I adopted my son. He hit my son, when I told him he couldn't do that he dislocated my jaw.

But I was too picky. I could go on... I dated probably 20 guys, these are a few of the highlights.

My lord, he had two different colored eyes and licked BBQ sauce off of his fingers, what a sick FREAK............................................. ......

Originally posted by DHShogun
My lord, he had two different colored eyes and licked BBQ sauce off of his fingers, what a sick FREAK............................................. ......

What the HECK are you talking about DH, you lost me here.

I don't even know.

Gotta love ya DHSHogun

kyrianne,

I have had the pleasure to chat with you on a few occasions. You are a beautiful woman with a great personality...a great sense of humor and I know, you have a good heart.

I have commented to a few others on this site...but, there are times that I am ashamed of my own gender. Yes, there are quite a number of dipwads out thier (for use of better terms)...

However, I am of the belief that there is one special person out thier for each of us. And, I can tell from the few times we have spoken over IM, that you are a very wonderful and warm person...and you will find that man.

We all go have to traverse the "hill" of bad people. From the people that use threatening suicide to get thier way and mentally/emotionally abuse you...to the one's that try every know way to justify themselves sleeping with others...

However...you do run into the nice people. My current gf along with some very special women on this sight (you gals know who you are *smiles*...including you, kyrianne)....have shown me that...

Do you have a right to be angry or disenchanted with men? Yes. Do I think you always will be? No. Why? Because of who you are...and I know, one day you will find whom you seek...

*Hugs*

~Dan

Beautiful Dan
I hope you don't think I hate men either because I don't.

There are a thousand stories. Some good some bad. There is no gender bias on pain.

SQ....

Thank you...*smiles*

The thought of you hating men, never really crossed my mind. If you did, I doubt you would be here at this board.

But, once again like kyrianne, I wouldn't blame you one bit if you were disenchanted with my gender. And there are some women who have told me that they are ashamed of thier gender, as well.

Alot of us on this site are the same....we are all very, as I call it, tender hearted. We tend to open our hearts up to people more. This is a good and bad thing. Good thing because it shows what a warm, beautiful, loving person you can be. On the flip side...it sets ourselves up for bigger falls more often...

Is being tender hearted a bad thing? No, of course not. We just have to be careful, that's all. But you're right...pain discriminates against no one....not gender, not race, not age nor any other "criteria"....

But then again, that's what makes so many people on this sight so sweet and gentle...so loving and passionate. It's that soft, beautiful tender heart that, we all know for many of us...is filled with so much love...for a special someone.

~Dan

Thanks Dan... that was a wonderful post. My laundry list runs about the same as the rest of you. It has got to the point that I do not even mind not dating at all. I have more fun with my family and friends.

Originally posted by onetiger
I agree with you Julianne! I recently dated a 44 yr old (I'm 34) and he was something else. And on top of being flaky...everytime I did something he liked, he told me "good girl" as if I was a dog doing his bidding. What a putz!! And then he started calling me "buddy pet names" like "Hey pal"..."How's it going, buddy?"....not the most romantic way to speak to someone you just started dating. Did he really think I would get into him speaking to me this way? Yikes!

But for me...it's been a very SLOW dating period. I must be sending some vibe out cause I haven't been asked out in ages! Darn...gotta get on that! :-)

One guy I dated used to call me "baby doll"... if you knew me you would know how WRONG that was. I told him to call me ANYTHING but babydoll. I said call me "rat face" so he did. And he bought me a little stuffed rat. LOL

Originally posted by yellowrose
It has got to the point that I do not even mind not dating at all.

Yup -- I'm there.

After several very unhappy long-term relationships, I lost faith in my own judgement. And I'm very much afraid of jeopardizing the contentment I have now, on my own, by ending up in yet another one. :(

Edit: Sorry!! -- that wasn't very encouraging, was it?

I'm with you Savannah. If I wasn't waiting for my guy to come home I would still not date. Don't feel strong enough to try that yet.

I spend a happier time with my family and friends then with a SO.

I don't know who raised some of these men, but I'm convince it was in a den of wolves...but they can eat their young sometimes don't they..lol

Even the younger ones can be a pain in the bazooka.

the only thing about me is that I have this overwhelming amount of HOPE and FAITH that doesn't let me quit one bit...shoot, it can be burden sometimes.

I figure when I find someone who loves me as unconditionally as my 8 yr old nephew does, then he's the one I should marry.

Paris

Hey now! Wait just a cotton pickin' minute! I lick bbq sauce off my fingers (iffin it hasn't dripped onto my shirt already)! Are you calling bbq sauce lickers "in-breds" or something??? And I think two different colored eyes are cool! Robin's brother has a dog like that.

Okay, my experiences with the wild world of men:

My ex-husband...liar, cheater, thief, poor dental hygiene, mentally and physically abusive, but a damned good drummer!

Ex bfs:

The Artist...beautiful, smart, articulate, but very shy and quiet, to the point of almost being dysfunctional socially. Not a warm person, not able to open up. Dumped him in the end because he couldn't accept my kids.

The Waiter...very cute, laughing, blue eyes, dimples, but too into sports and too jealous. Dumped him because he was dumber than a box of hammers.

The Busboy (from the same restaurant as the waiter)...gorgeous, a cross between James Dean and Brad Pitt, really nice, loved the kids, loved the pets, hard body, but was 23 and wanted a "sugar mama". Didn't want to work. Dumped him because I couldn't afford another mouth to feed.

The Wannabe Musician...this guy actually wasn't very attractive, but knew what to say to me to get me to go out with him. He was smart, very into the blues, had friends in the music business, worked hard, was ready to deal with the kids, but he was in the military for 14 years prior, and treated the kids like boot camp maggots. Dumped him because he expected too much from the kids, and he had a really big nose!

I hated men until I met Robin. I actually considered becoming a lesbian, but discovered I don't really like women sexually, so that wouldn't work. Ya gotta kiss a whole mess of frogs before you meet your prince, Kyrianne. Your prince will be your reward, and he'll be worth it! :)

Oh, and Dan Shues, I love you! :)

I don't post here often although I do roam the site and read posts and I have to say this--

You gals..and guys...are unbelievable!

Thank you for all those posts! With total honesty here, I laughed and cried.. ~softly kissing Dan on the cheek~..thank you, Dan. Your g/f is a lucky lady..~ss~

It's sooOOOOoo good to hear I'm not alone! I mean I knew I wasn't really but confirmation through all your posts makes a world of difference!

Swan..I think we found a few brothers! ~lol~

Savannah..loss of faith in judgement..I'm with ya there, sister!

And for the record, Julianne..Yemmy and the mooshroom man were the oldest of the guys...and yes...very much so the weirdest!! ~laffs~

Ain't Polly...ain't nuttin wrong wiff lickin that sauce offun yer fingers..or offun yer cousins/husbands fingers either for that matter...but on a first date!!???!!! ~laughing~ You are a gem! ~laffs~smiles~

I finally understand DHShogun's comment LOL. I missed that in your first post.

I wondered what the heck he was talking about.

... what a list!

Actually, if you are not in that situation, I got to admit it actually reads kind of funny .. ;)

Can't really offer any advise here, because one thing you guys made me realize is, that I think I never "dated" in my life, not in the sense that you seem to be describing. All my releationships / love developed out of longer-term friendships with guys I met and we got on well .... - and over time, something more ...

Maybe that's why I am not sharing a lot of the bad memories that you have about past relationshiops or so, don't know really, .... but from what I read her, I am pretty sure that "dating" someone I had not been friends with for some time is not an option for me - sounds way too scary, lol.

Well, I hope you all find the "right" guy for you (if not already with him ;) ).
Big hug,
C.

Yes thats DEFINITELY the way to do it Carazy. But I don't have any single male friends.

You can see why some of us are hesitant to date. I really don't know what I would do to start dating again. Which is why waiting for my guy to get back from Iraq to meet him isn't such a bad thing.

Who knows, he may end up another story on that list. I sure hope not.

(and it is kinda funny in retrospect)

Some of the 'dates from hell' are hysterical, yes. In fact, when I relayed some dating facts just after the dates, the one woman I work with nearly laughed till she cried. But ya know..the dates weren't bad dates..just odd guys! And truthfully, I'd rather look back on them and laugh than cry over a date! But..again..I really think twice now before going out with someone.

I did leave one guy out but I posted about him a few months ago. He was the 'ex navy seal'. Now he was a scarey guy!

I'm glad you're laughing about them kyrianne because I sure am - and everyone elses ex's too. They all sound like real pieces of work. And when you describe them, it doesn't sound like you're mad or anything but that your heart goes out them to being ....well, so unique.
I don't have any encouragement for you except to say that there are decent guys around or so I've heard. I'm told I'm a nice guy but that term is usually the kiss of death (well for me anyway) - hearing that means I aint gettin' anywhere.
Reading these was good for my self-esteem - its makes me feel like I wasn't such a bad b/f afterall. But it also gets me to thinking what kind of little names my ex's have given me - Mr.HistoryChannel watchin, no-mufflershitboxdrivin, shorts in januarywearin, shower after work forgetten, Senor coffee drinkin, rock star wannabe, buffalo wing eatin'....

Originally posted by John-311
But it also gets me to thinking what kind of little names my ex's have given me - Mr.HistoryChannel watchin, no-mufflershitboxdrivin, shorts in januarywearin, shower after work forgetten, Senor coffee drinkin, rock star wannabe, buffalo wing eatin'....

OH MY GOD, are you all those things :D You sound like a real catch.

You crack me up.

Seriously I OFTEN wonder what the guys I dated would categorize me as. I mean what kind of scenario would they say I fit in?

I don't want to know.

"But it also gets me to thinking what kind of little names my ex's have given me - Mr.HistoryChannel watchin, no-mufflershitboxdrivin, shorts in januarywearin, shower after work forgetten, Senor coffee drinkin, rock star wannabe, buffalo wing eatin'...."


What exactly is no-mufflershitboxdrivin???? ~lmao~ Brings very odd images to my mind! ~laffs~ As for buffalo wing eating...tell me ya like 'em spicy with celery and blue cheese and we've got a wing eaten date!

I haven't dated much either. But I have met a few doozies.

1) Guy was gorgeous, but so full of himself it was a turn off. Don't think I ever got a word in edgewise. :rolleyes:

2) Date was more like a job interview, and when he asked how many children I had (I have two), he went off about how the world is overpopulated, and that people should be restricted as to how many children they have.

3) Told me that he and his ex were into swinging, and would I be interested in that. When I said that wasn't my thing, he said I had no sense of adventure.

I once recall seeing an episode of the show Real Sex on HBO. One couple loved to use fire on eachother's bodies as part of foreplay. After watching, I thought "How do these people find each other? I can't even find a normal guy!" LOL

I think Polly is right. Sometimes you gotta kiss a few frogs so to speak. Oh well.. :(

Amazing thread.

I think it all comes down to expectations. We all have this picture of the perfect...

But, if, and this is one mighty big IF

I ever find her... my guess is that I would not like her. Now if I can find 'close' as in atom bombs and hand-grenades... that would be kewl.

I'm sure all have heard the phrase 'familiarity breeds contempt'...

and John 311, you got it! "you're a nice guy" , The kiss of death, the black plague... nice guys finish last... I hear a woman say "you're a nice guy" ... that ends that. The nice guy is the wuss. Women do not like wusses. Wusses are clingy... dependent. That is what many guys say... so I hear.

Familiarity breeds contempt...which is why ya have to keep an open mind...be ready and willing to just go the extra mile if need be...spontenaity, ya know? Kind of a try it ya might like it thing.. even if ya don't think you'll like it...try it! Am I rambling?? Am I making any sense?? ~laffs~

As for nice guys..nothing wrong with nice guys..just keep a lil bit of a wild side to ya...even if it's just a private wild side..


And Gen...I'm beginning to think 'normal guy' is an oxymoron.. ~laffs~ Kind of like smart blonde...hey..wait a minute..I'm blonde! ~laughing~

There is one woman here, a chiropractor (49yo). She has issues with her ex (who lives 800 mi away); she says he was a major control freak. She has 3 sons; I have met the eldest. He is a terriffic guy... so far.

She has a roomate, female, a school teacher, 34yo. They do everything together.

Anyway, we got along well. Would go for beers after her work day was done and just shoot the ship;) slowly getting to know one another. We really did get along great. Our philosophies are quite similar. During some playful banter, I asked her what she was looking for and she replied ' a partner'. Good so far. Then, a little later, she said something like "I know I am living here for a reason." Fine again. So i replied... "Perhaps it is so you could meet me *GRIN*. She said 'we'll see, if your still around in a few months'. OK..... COLD WATER... put on the breaks...

We went out for dinner once or twice and had some good conversation and some excellent banter.

When spring arrived, she said that if I wanted to see her, she'd be at the beach which is just below the condo complex where she lives. ... ok... I can handle that; beach, sun, beer. During casual conversation, she made mention of some people she does not like (the local busy body for one), and that she just 'ignores them'. Oooo kkkk. That was up till early June. In july, on one hot hot day, I took her ONE BEER (she loves Natural Light),,, on ice; left it for her as an after work cool down. Once, her car need service, and as she was to go on an 800 mi trip, I took her car to have it fixed (she paid the bill) as it would have screwed up her work day big time. On another occassion, her son flew in and that too was a work day. (my time is quite free right now) I offerred to help. I went and picked him up at the airport (6 hr round trip).

She often will say that 'we did this" or "we did that", refering to her and her roomate. Once, when a friend was being treated by her I came up in conversation and she remarked " I like his company". OOOOOOOO KKKKKKKKKKK.

Now, I am ignored.

nice guys finish last. And yes, I can ramble.

JMO.

I can put in a few interesting dates...all here in the Boston area (within one year as I moved here August 2002). Note that none are abusive in any way, just "wrong":

1. Gorgeous, Superman looking guy who states he's looking for someone to treat well (blind date who sent a pic as I sent mine)...we have two great phone conversations. Then when I arrive for the date he starts to read a newspaper at the table. And does so throughout the date.

2. Guy who asks me for a drink. I meet him and we seem to be having a good time. He's decent looking and interesting. Then he asks if we can eat at the restaurant (it's an expensive one...well, expensive for an academic). I say sure. He then proceeds to just look at the check when it comes and though he asked me to have dinner, tells me how much I need to pay.

3. Guy who asks me out on date number three after date number two - tells me how wonderful I am, how beautiful, etc. Then a week later emails me to tell me his ex is back in his life.

4. Guy who says he's totally interested in me then tells me "good girl" when I do something he likes and when he calls say "hey bud"...'scuze me?

5. After a guy finds out that I am in the counseling field he proceeds to tell me every problem that he has and wants advice. I'm sorry but you have to pay me for this.

6. Guy who asks me over to his place and then proceeds to play golf on his playstation with his roommate. Why am I over?

I've met many "nice guys" here but most of them do not have similar interests, can't hold a decent conversation or are not attractive. I want a nice guy. But I don't want a boring guy. A nice guy who stimulates my mind and gets my heart racing...yup, I'd love that.

And I'd say I'm that girl who has a lot going for her that also gets the shaft at times...reasonably attractive, intelligent, great job, athletic, decent bod, fun interests, etc. So - it's not only the nice guys who don't get the date - sometimes it's the nice girl who doesn't either.

What I would warn a "nice guy" is doing very nice things for someone who isn't responding "in-like"...do the nice things as the relationship progresses, but don't go all out for someone who isn't thinking of you as seriously. And doing nice things in hopes that it makes someone like you better - not a good idea. You're bound to get hurt. Do nice things if you just like to do nice things with no expectations from it.

Originally posted by onetiger
.... And doing nice things in hopes that it makes someone like you better - not a good idea. You're bound to get hurt. Do nice things if you just like to do nice things with no expectations from it.

Best advise ever, and I wholeheartedly agree. This is pretty much my motto, coz this way you don't get resentful if your action's don't have the desired effect ;)

But I see so many people online and they don't post. Why is that? I sometimes look and my name is on all the most recent posts and I feel like I want to walk away so I give other people a chance but YOU DON'T POST. And I have more to say. SO I don't want to make www.agelesslove.com into www.swanqueen.com but you leave me no choice.

Saltwater.... why do I always have something to say to you? :D

I am not a buyer into that nice guy or nice gal thing. Your story was very sweet. I would love for someone to bring me a beer but in my case make it a Merlot.

I don't think her comment about liking your company was a bad thing. You are being ignored? Just a question, could she be gay?

Many of the men on that list I wrote actually did very very nice things for me. We split for other reasons though. I love when someone does something nice for me. Blows me away actually. I think... my god you did that for me? Usually in my case it is the other way around and I am used, sucked dry, and spit out.

So it swings both ways. Don't quit being nice Saltwater. I won't either.

Originally posted by SaltwaterBlues
and John 311, you got it! "you're a nice guy" , The kiss of death, the black plague... nice guys finish last... I hear a woman say "you're a nice guy" ... that ends that. The nice guy is the wuss. Women do not like wusses. Wusses are clingy... dependent. That is what many guys say... so I hear.

Hmmm..... guess my confusion here stems from not knowing exactly what a "wuss" is, if your equation is correct (nice guy=wuss=clingy). Because I have ended more than one relationship with men who became too clingy and dependent. I want a relationship with an adult partner, an equal -- not someone who seems to need me for continual attention/affirmation/advice.

Once, when a friend was being treated by her I came up in conversation and she remarked " I like his company". OOOOOOOO KKKKKKKKKKK.
Now, I am ignored.
nice guys finish last.

Here's a thought: maybe she DID enjoy your company AS A FRIEND -- but no more than that. I've said this before: my closest friend is a male, and I love him dearly AS A FRIEND, but the last thing I want to do is jump into bed with him. He knows more about me than any other person, but there is no mutual sexual attraction. Zip. Zero. And I have had friendships with men in the past where I have started to get the feeling that the guy wanted more than platonic friendship, and if there was no prospect of my being able to return the emotion on that level, yes I would draw away from the friendship. I don't like hurting someone.

LOL... ok Swan... you went where my mind also went... she might be gay. She is paranoid about her clientel; about her professional life. It did cross my mind that I was a prop for a while. So others, where she lives, would see her with a man, then he is gone... did not work out... oh well. I see that as a possibility, not necessarily a probability.

Now, as to wusses.

http://www.doubleyourdating.com/

He says he knows what women want. Some of his stuff is funny as heck. He has many people write in about it. Even women do. The funny thing is, most of the women seem to agree with him.

You decide.


:D

I went to that website.... SO are you a graduate yet?

Well when you get your degree let me know :D

Originally posted by SaltwaterBlues
Now, as to wusses.

http://www.doubleyourdating.com/

He says he knows what women want. Some of his stuff is funny as heck. He has many people write in about it. Even women do. The funny thing is, most of the women seem to agree with him.

You decide.


:D
The man is promoting his own book (with 3 Bonus Books...!) -- I tend to take those "endorsements" with a healthy dose of skepticism.
I'm afraid I didn't make it very far after the reassurance about a secure server and accepting all major credit cards.
He did say one thing that I agree with: "Your personality is your greatest asset".

Polly....thank you...*smiles*

And kyrianne...thank you as well...*soft smiles*...you are a very sweet woman...*hugs*

~Dan

Originally posted by swanqueen
I went to that website.... SO are you a graduate yet?

Well when you get your degree let me know :D

Another course to flunk...... no thanks. But I could treat it like college... major in registration, minor in skiing.:D

I dunno, Salt...I somehow think the loss is the chiropractors..not yours..

Doing something for someone else..funny that should come up. I had a friend call today and ask me if I could run him to Lowe's.. he said if you run me there I'll come out to the house and help ya with the project you're working on...in payment..I told him just what ya'll are saying..the barter system is a great thing..but.. I don't do things for people so they do things for me..not my style. And yes, I did run him to Lowe's...and a few other places..I needed some things as well so that worked for me...besides..I figure ya get what ya give in life anyhow..and if I get mine at the end..then that's when I get it...

And I'm with you, onetiger....I'd love a nice guy....