New here, for a good reason

I am new to this forum. I have read many of the threads already. You all seem very nice and caring. I am a 24 male that has just met a 32 year old woman. I have never dated anyone with that much of an age gap before. I don't have a problem with it myself. But, I don't know how some of my family and friends will look at it. Well, I don't have many friends anyway, cause most people I have met(guys and ladies) are either liers or just not as nice of people as me, and/or have bad morals. I am looking for that right woman and this woman I just met is really cute and has a great sense of humor, which I really like. If things work out, which time always tells, then I would very much concider being with her forever. But, I'm just kindof unsure about the whole family thing. Not worried about my mom, since she is now seeing a 27 year old, and she is 44. I just would like some input please.

Thanks,
Scott

Hey Chief, welcome! :)

You know, your situation sounds pretty good. She's young enough that if you do decide for this to be long-term, she is still in her child-bearing years. Your family might balk at the idea at first, but if you to are together for I'd say six months or more and remain happy, your family will eventually come around and be glad for you.

The friends...their reactions will differ according to whom they are as individuals. She probably could fit in with them better than you think. Everyone can find SOMETHING in common with others, even if it's a t.v. show or a band. If they're your real friends and they see that you're happy, they'll accept her because they'll want this to work for you. Some of them might even be jealous that you have such a catch! :D

You sound as though you chose your friends carefully, I'm sure they would have no problem when you tell them, I too have some wonderful friends, and I told them about the last age gap relationship I was in, and they were very happy for me. How did your family react to your Mother's relationship? if they have already got used to her's, then maybe, they will be more open to your relationship. . . . . . just my thoughts.

My mom just started seeing that guy recently. I am the only one that knows about it right now.

Welcome to the wonderful mixed-up world of agegap relationships. If your lady is only 32, once you stop thinking about it all the time, you won't even notice it. It's not usually so much the difference in age that's the problem its the difference in matuity levels and goals. With only an 8 year gap you have the same agegap as Hugh Jackman and his wife. Hugh is Wolverine in X-Men. If he can do it -- so can you. :D

As for how others see it. Well, those who are your real friends with think it's great that you met someone special. Family can be kind of critical at times, but usually seeing you happy and what a cool lady she is will settle them down. Those of us who have had family problems have usually not had such a good relationship with them before, so it's not surprising that a relationship that's slightly different will cause some friction.

With only 8 years between you the rest of the world won't notice unless you make it a point to tell them. I've found that the more you treat your relationship like it's perfectly normal, the easier it is for others to accept and I am 26 years older than my husband.

It's great that your mom has found someone, too. It might look a bit odd to you at the moment, but if he's mature and a good man it could work out very well.

I wish all of you the very best.

Peace,
Jane

I do hope that it works for you. I was the equivalent to the woman in your age gap & his parents did not accept me, which blew everyone's mind. And they basically told my bf that they'd disown him if he ever married me. It was too much stress for him. I'm not sure what the major problem was as I have a master's degree, very athletic, attractive and can hold my own in any situation. But the age thing was what turned them against me. So...I just hope that your family will be much kinder and understanding. It was such a wrong thing to end a relationship that seemed so wonderful.

If you're not worried about your Mom, then what are you worried about? Dad?
Siblings?

My approach (and our families have been pretty decent on the whole) is simply to ask them if what they want is for me to be happy? (Hopefully, the answer is yes).

Then I just tell them that this person makes me wildly happy and that to miss out on that and seeing where it goes would potentially be the worst mistake in my life.

Most sane folks will lay off at that point, although they may still make a dire prediction or two.

Let them. They don't have to be ecstatic, just accepting. Time will tell, as it always does.

And if you're family is totally nuts, then don't let them control your choices, as that will inevitably, make you nuts. And there's not much point to that .....

welcome and hello

My bf and I have a 10 year gap. I'm 30, he's 20. No one has ever really expressed a problem with it. A few of my friends were like, "Oh, shopping in the junior department?" at first, but they got over it. And my mom was initially worried that I was losing it and trying to act like a kid again, but now she sees that he's nice to me so she's more supportive.