Newbie - would love advice please!!

Thanks

Well i'm not a man..... but I am going to give you my thoughts here...... well I would there there are many answers to that..question....But being friends with each other is ok... being lovers is ok....... whatever you wish is ok....... there doesn't seem to be an attraction to him as you said in your post.....you want to be friends..... How does he react to you? does he say anything to you like that???? Or are you really attracted to him.... I dn't think its strange for a relationship but I don't think it should be about his age.......

I just don't know how any man could answer that question... because I'm sure they don't look at there women as being there age but seeing the WOMAN inside and saying how much they love them..... You fall in love with the person not the age.....

If your just friends ok... if it's more ok....

Mer

Ballet,

Hello and welcome first of all!

As for myself falling for a much younger woman (22yrs) I don't think I would personally have had the courage to make the first moves. But that didn't mean I wasn't attracted to her.

Not sure if that made sense other than to say I was more in fear that MY making any advancements to her would have scared her away from the friendship we had. Speaking only for myself I didn't think a younger woman would have an interest in me.

I can only tell you......if you do think of him in that way and want to know if he feels the same. Simple enough! Ask him!

Hows the old saying go about the only stupid question is the one left unasked? Its either that or learn telepathy;) ..........Or you can just wonder for the rest of your days what might have been.

Good luck and keep us posted.

Don

Welcome Ballet Dreamer!

I guess I am a little bit unclear of what you are looking for from this man.

1. Do you want to be strictly friends? If so, no, that is not weird. Or do you possibly want to be more than friends? That was the part that was unclear from your post.

2. If you just want to be friends, you were wondering if he might be attracted to you. Well, he might. Depends completely on him. But I don't think he will automatically be attracted to you just because you're young. That would be like saying you're automatically attracted to Bill Gates because he's rich, or to Tom Cruise and Matt Damon and Ben Afleck and Colin Ferrel and whoever because they're heart throbs in movies. Not necessarily the case, right?

3. Will he think you're interested in more than a friendship? Again, depends on him. There are some men who think you're after him if you tell them you like their tie, or tell them that they dropped something on the floor, and there are other men who will have NO CLUE you are romantically interested in them, despite falling all over yourself to let them know, and there are some in the middle. So to answer your question...MAYBE to everything!

Just talk to him. Tell him what you're thinking. Good luck, and I hope that everything works out how you want it to.

Emmie

Hi BD

As an OM on this sight, I would have to say that this man is probably hesitant to come right out and tell you he is interested.

The reason for his hesitation is pretty simple really...He is afraid of being labeled a "perve".

If you give him a clear signal that you are interested...you will get your answer.

GF

I guess my advice would be just to see what happens when you get to know him better. I don't think there is any need to "decide" at this moment whether you want to be friends with him or more than that. If you talk now, and you talk tomorrow, and you talk the next day, you will probably eventually figure out what you really feel for him.

If you haven't yet said to him that you would like to keep in touch with him, maybe you should. You don't have to throw yourself at him, just say that much - that you have enjoyed getting to know him and that you would like to get to know him better.

That is what my husband basically said to me and what I felt about him at first. We simply "dated" without any commitment for a while - we saw each other because we had a good time together, we had great conversations and lots of fun - similar interests. After some time, I began to realize that my feelings were stronger than friendship. He was always clear that he had feelings for me, but never, ever pushed me into a serious relationship - it was something I discovered after getting to know him.

Good luck! Don't feel pressured to put any label on it until it feels natural.

Hi Ballet,

I don't want generalize cos everyone is different. But if a man in his fifties is fancied by a young girl in his 20's. He would think he is the luckiest man in the world. Ok, not all men go through midlife crisis and want a younger woman, but I think whether the man will want to date you is another question, but if he knows you fancy him and is half his age I'm sure he would be flattered.

I liked my OM (now ex) for 3 years before I made a move. When we talked about it, he said he had always liked me and thought I was pretty and everything, but he did not think he could ever have me so he never did anything even though it was so obvious that I liked him.

I think the first thing you have to do is to ask yourself if you like him as a friend or you want something more. If you like him as a friend there is nothing weird about it. If he is not a father figure, he might be a mentor to you and there is nothing wrong with that.

If you do like him then that's another question altogether.

let us know how you get on, ok!

OM/YW relationships can and do work. I met my husband when I was 24 and he was 50. Over 7 years later we are happily married and deeper in love than ever before. When you find the right person, it just works. True love is a gift that should be cherished.

Best wishes.