What is so attractive about a broken heart

I've been forgetting to post this!

So Sunday...a friend of mine calls me. Mikey and I have been trying to get together forever to have a drink. He's the only friend of my ex (not D) that I liked. He's always been super duper sweet and understanding. So we go out and I told him that I needed a social life and this would be good for me. So we went out and I vented. I even cried while venting. He gave me a hug and told me that it's going to be okay and this was the perfect time for "me".

Yeah, I know this and it's already established me time....but he kept going on and on about how it's important to love yourself. So four drinks later we decide to go. But he wanted to take me somewhere special. So we went to his car and I passed out on the way there (feeling sheepish). When we got there, it was dark and straight out of a horror film! It was this cable bridge. I was shocked to see that this was a special place.

"Mikey, what are we doing here?"

"It's a great view of downtown."

Okay...mind you there are TONS of places with a great view of downtown. So maybe he was feeling emotional or something and decided to hug me more. So we're hugging and I could swear...I was intoxicated, so I could be wrong....but I could swear he was kissing my neck! When I woul d pull away, he would try and move in for a kiss. This is when stupid phrase like: "wouldn't it be cool if we had Kualas in California".

Okay, I just spent two hours talking about D and how hard this was for me...and he's blabbing about taking "me" time and then he tries to take me to make out central! I don't think so. I mean really...is a broken heart atttractive?

GRRRR.

Not really EM.......

To be blunt.........

A broken heart is vulnerable.

sad but true...
It's unfortunate because he's a really good friend.

"It's unfortunate because he's a really good friend."

You sure about that?

Good point / question SomeNightSW.

i read that as, "i thought he was a good friend" or "i always considered him a good friend of mine"

Um, yeah. EM, I know what you are talking about! While nothing like THAT has happened to me (mainly because I am keeping my drinking/passing out to myself, in private, at home...KIDDING), a few of my "friends" have come out of the woodwork too! Yes, they are great guys, but I think they might be stupid or something. One of them seemingly sincerely said that he has known about my problems with Tom, and has basically been waiting for him to be out of the picture, and he knows he should wait but he doesn't want to wait until its too late, so he wants me to know that he will always be there for me and will be the best partner for me if that is what I want.

Well, that is flattering, I guess, but forget it. Heart broken in millions of pieces means that I have no capacity for love and romance at this time. I mean, please. What did he want me to say?

Remember what I said about guys being jerks? Well, here's an example. Vulnerable...what Salty said.

We all know that friendship must be tested before we can know what's underneath. Here was the test...Grade? F

Men can be dogs, but so can women. Taking sexual advantage of a drunk person is abusive. Such abuse is selfish and cruel, and EM, what this guy did to you was selfish and cruel. You were drunk. What if you had succumbed to his advances in a moment of drunken weakness? How would you have felt the next day?

No one who can truly call himself a friend would have placed you in that situation. A friend would let you get drunk, sob out your story, taken you home, tucked you in, set the coffee pot and the alarm for the morning, made sure you were safe, and called the next day to make sure you were okay. He would NOT have tried to get into your pants.

that makes me sick... if i'm you I would not call him a friend again. When we are broken hearted, yeah we're vunlerable and jerks take advantage of that... stay away from him ifyou can Em.

Hey, well I will take opposing point of view here...You both had had a few drinks....I assume. You are sad and telling your story of you and D, crying a few tears. He, naturally, wants to comfort you....hug you...whatever...the influence of the few drinks kick in...and BLAMMO. He does a stupid guy thing and tries to kiss you. Maybe it was just a mistake, and maybe one he would not have made if he had not had a few?

I mean, Em your a really really pretty woman.....I don't know if I would blow off years of friendship over one mistake?

(Okay, I am just posting this to be the other side of the coin here, don't attack me, sweet people!!! LOL)

Intoxicated or not u should have kicked this guy in the nutz. Ur opportunity will come next time you see him (hope he's with a girl) kick him in the nutz then tell him thanks for the special moment ya jerk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!

I'm thinking maybe.....just maybe....sometimes it works!

I only say this because thats sort of how C and I got together (although I don't drink). When my wife left they seemed to be coming out of the woodwork at me as well.

Online friends that I'd only ever considered friends were asking me to come visit them (even offered to send plane tickets) and one here was saying she could move in the next week telling me her big screen TV would look great in my living room! (she knew the ex had taken almost all the furniture in the house).

So even though I was at my most vunlerable point in my life when (during all of this) C made an advance towards me, it was nothing like the others at all. She truely was there for me only because she understood my pain. Because she had just broken up with her BF a month before, not because she wanted in on my business or whatever else the others were thinking.

emmie,

One of them seemingly sincerely said that he has known about my problems with Tom, and has basically been waiting for him to be out of the picture, and he knows he should wait but he doesn't want to wait until its too late, so he wants me to know that he will always be there for me and will be the best partner for me if that is what I want.

I know your not ready just yet, but this guy sounds like he may be sincere to me. Keep him in mind at least!

Don

Joanna ~

I think I best relate to your post. I think the alcohol might have gotten to him too. I saw him again last night (he still had my licence and drove over to return it) and he made no advances except for a hug hello and goodbye. I could tell there was a bit of akwardness there...maybe because he knew he made a mistake? I dunno. He's always been a great friend and this was the first of its kind.

There are numerous reasons why I wouldn't date him, the main one being he's one of F's (my ex) good friends. That's just a little too weird for me. Now if he was IT and I had to have him...than I wouldn't care about F...but as I see it, Mikey is just a good friend and nothing more.

Em... Yes a broken heart is definatly vunerable.... maybe he is just a good friend and just got confused... I think you need to talk to him about this..... and take it from here... if he's mad you don't wanna persue this then he isn't a friend but if he understands then he is... Just talk to him it can't hurt... It would probably be bad if you just let him go over a mistake.. i agree with joannalee here... Communication it's the only way!!!

Any and all of you who said this guy might be a keeper or he might be sincere.......in all politeness (as much as I can muster today) YOU'RE ALL WAY, WAY OFF the mark.

This is what is so annoying about younger men (i.e. "men" my age). They actually think they're smart enough to run their **** on a girl, she'll fall for it, and they end up with an instant lay! SCORE! (grrrrrrrr.....)

Em, plain and simple: what this guy saw was a drunken, emotional chick. It didn't matter that you were supposed to be friends, nor did he give two flying fucks about your broken heart. He took one look at you, and thought, INSTANT DRUNKEN REBOUND NOOKIE! He probably thought you looked like the easiest mark he'd seen in a while, so he tried his luck. I hope you bit him back, because that's what he deserves for the next 15 years until he grows up and obtains a brain in his thick male skull. Because for now, all brain activity is being wasted on sex, how to get sex, how many people to have sex with, sex sex sex. Classic 20-something immature male. This guy is a grade A jack-***. Not only is he not a friend, he's almost predatory. But you really ought to know better. Of course someone's going to try to get you drunk and sleep with you- it's called bottom-feeding. I think I've even seen articles in Maxim magazine advising guys on the easiest prey, and numero uno is the rebound girl! She'll be emotional, likely to want to drink in excess, needs reassurance, self-esteem boosting, a lil' TLC.......and in return he'll offer you a ONE-NIGHT STAND. Don't fall for it. Stay away from this dope. Next time you talk to him, if you must, let him know you didn't appreciate his selfish horny bull**** when you were down and out. Arghhhh!!! What is WRONG with people???:mad:

Don,
Maybe you're right. My situation is pretty different. Its definitely not right for me right now to move to someone new, but this guy is actually very kind and I could tell that he felt awkward saying anything to me at all.
I'll have to see.

And EM, just be careful if you decide to see that guy anymore. I don't like what happened at all.

Emmie

I don't like what happened either...but as a friend I think I should be able to tell him how I feel about that night. I can't write him off...maybe he was lonely and vulnerable too. I can't be cold hearted like that. There's got to be a reason why he acted the way he did.

Em... Talk to him first tell him how he made you feel and if he doesn't understand that then drop him..... but sometimes the moments get carried away and **** happens...