telling the overly protective parents

I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 39, almost 40. He and I are serious about spending our life together. And please don't start with the "you're too young" BS. The problem is that my parents have always been very protective of me and I know they have a dream of me marrying a doctor or lawyer type. My boyfriend doesn't have any problem with money, he's a producer, but how do I gently break it to my parents that I'm in a very serious relationship with a man who is 21 years older than I am?

Is this the same guy you posted about a couple of months ago? If so, I see he's aged quite a bit since then. Is he 36 or 39?

Tell them with lots of love and respect. If their response is bad, try to remember that they just love you and want what they think is best for you. ALWAYS respect them and always tell them that you love them no matter what. Then, live your life as it makes you happy. You don't have to convince them to accept him. Understanding that we don't need our parents' approval for every aspect of our life is a part of growing up and becoming an adult. The trick is to not shut them out or to treat them poorly simply because they don't agree with a choice you've made. Always keep the lines of communication open, for once they are shut it is so hard to open them up again.

In my experience, the thing that makes these relationships "ok" with protective parents is TIME and PATIENCE. Once my parents saw how happy my OM (26 yrs my senior) makes me and once they got to know him as a PERSON and not an AGE, things started to fall into place. Regardless of whether or not it would have worked out, I would have continued to love and respect my parents and continued to show them that by the way I treated them no matter how they were acting with respect to my OM.

Good luck.

The 36 was a typo

Well Number one we are all in age gaps so why would we give you Bull Shit???? That I don't understand... Your 18 we only get concerned when your younger than that.... but...

Just tell them... Explain to them how you feel etc..... Do you live with them>??? be prepared for them to maybe ask you to leave.. Unfortunatly they have that right.... just be careful, Patient and honest

Nothing you can say, or the manner in which you say it, will have any effect on the way your parents react to the age gap. Some people are capable of accepting it; others are not. Some people will come around eventually; others will not. My parents are not accepting and they're not coming around any time soon either. I sitll had to tell them, and I wish I had done it sooner. Maybe they'll be relatively non-freaked about it. Maybe they'll call the cops and try to commit you. I've seen people ask this question a hundred times, including myself, and the truth is that people are going to react in their own way and you will have no control over it. All you can do is keep your calmness at a maximum. Good luck.