What should I do?

I was recently asked out by a MUCH older man. I'm attracted to him, but I know I really shouldn't got out with him. I got out of a relationship last year with a man who was 18 years older than me. I just don't want to go through that again. I don't want people thinking I'm crazy and for my parents to be mad at me. AH. I don't know. Anyone have any ideas? Thanks :)

Well, the good points are: 1) you know what to expect, and 2) maybe everyone else got over their initial shock and it won't be as bad the second time around.

If there were problems in the previous relationship due to the age difference that might not even be a factor with this new guy. You never know.

If you like the guy, go out with him. It's just one date, right?


p.s. about people thinking you're crazy - you get used to it after a while. :D

Originally posted by frontrose
I was recently asked out by a MUCH older man. I'm attracted to him, but I know I really shouldn't got out with him. :)

Before I go on, let me welcome you to the boards as only I do with new members:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/forumfun/newbie6.jpg

It sounds like you like the guy but not too sure if you should go out with him, merely because of a bad experience from the past.

Keep in mind, this is a different guy and you may not experience the same situation that you did with the other guy. And much like Pinkie said, if you were to date this guy (just by chance), you may have already created a shock to your parents with the other guy whom you used to date. So go for it only if you feel comfortable with the guy.

Good luck, Frontrose and have fun.

right, it's just one date and if you don't want to go out with him again, you don't have to. what are your ages?

hey :)
thanks for your replies. i don't think i'm gonna go out with the guy. i'm 23 and he's 49. thats too huge of a difference. i think part of me feels like i can't gte a guy my own age, and i find comfort in older men. anyhow, those are justa couple of thoughts...

My husband and I began dating when I was 24 and he was 50. Over 7 years later, we are happier and more in love than ever before. My love for him has everything to do with the person he is and the wonderful heart he has and NOT his age.

True love is a gift that very few people have the opportunity to have. I can't imagine where I would be now if I had closed myself off to the opportunity to have the wonderful life I have now with my husband.

it's true that an age gap doesn't have to make a difference, but if you're just not interested in him that way, that's okay too. whether it's the age, personality, height, whatever, or if you're just not ready for that. maybe you can get to know him more as a friend and see how that develops, you never know.

Thanks for your words of wisdom. i don't know. i'm torn. i really do have an attraction for the man, but i'm so young and i feel like i should be looking at guys my own age because that's the conventional thing to do. i don't know. the thought just scares me of being a widow at a young age or also, a lot of older men don't want kids (or don't want more) and i definately want kids. and my parents...LOL...my gosh, thats another story. Thanks for the advice on my confused state...:D

Well if that age gap is to much for you then don't go for the relationship.. it will never work.... In order for this to work you need to realize that your not in love with his age you are in love with HIM....... You are the only one that can make this decision... IT has to be right for you.... Your parents will have to get over it or move on if this is what you want..... But you may have to leave there house if you live with them but remember life is to short to live your life for anyone else but yourself...... My husband is 17 years older than me I am 28 and he is 45 and I love him with all my heart and soul.... WE are trying to have a baby STILL dammit lol.. but the ages aren't the issue unless you make it that way... does your OM have 49 tatooed to his forehead???

I said this in an old post but when I said my vows I never said I take you C for your age...

Hello,
Well, I don't think it's really much of an issue at this point because he said a couple of days later to me (in an indirect way) that his insecurities were coming out (by asking me out i presume). I don't know if that means he regrets it or what. So, it was probably justa fluke, but it's really got me thinking about him. (I already had a crush on him all along). And by the way, LOL, he doesn't have 49 tattooed on his forehead but he definately looks his age. Cute, though :) Anyhow, no i don't life with my parents. They're in a different city. Thanks for all your replies peoples! I so appreciate it!

:cool:

Originally posted by frontrose
don't know. the thought just scares me of being a widow at a young age or also, a lot of older men don't want kids (or don't want more) and i definately want kids. and my parents...LOL...my gosh, thats another story.


what do your parents say ?

My parents HATE the idea of me being with someone that much older. My father never met my ex (who was 18 years older) and my mother cried over it a lot. I just wish I could meet someone who I could bring home to my parents, ya know? :D

Live your life for yourself, not other people including your parents. You are the one that has to wake up in your own skin every day. So make the decisions you need to make YOU happy. Someone once told me that the job of parenting is to give your children roots while they are young and wings when they are older. It's a hard transition for many, many parents but a necessary one. Part of becoming an adult is learning that you don't need to seek your parents approval for every decision you make. That does NOT mean that you should disprespect your parents or devalue their opinion. Always handle them with love and care, after all if it weren't for them you wouldn't be here.

I must agree with everyone else...
But I must say, if you're interested in dating him...then do so. When and if it starts to get serious is when you should have worries about being a widow and having children...heck you might not hit it off after the first date! Take it one step at a time.

EM

Also, being with a man your own age is no guarantee you won't be a young widow. I was 40 when my 45-year-old husband dropped dead of a heart attack. There are no guarantees in life no matter what your loved one's age! Now I'm 47 and in love with a wonderful 60-year-old OM. Yes, I worry about the future and the possibility of being widowed AGAIN should we marry. But what's the alternative? Not to love at all? My point is, none of us knows how much time we'll have on this earth. Appreciate each day and never take anything for granted!