Lintilla
11-03-2003, 12:48 PM
Hi guys,
I haven’t posted for a while as I got a new job, and it is in an open-plan office.
We had a bit of conflict last night/this morning, I’d just like to write it down to get it out of me, please feel free to comment if you want.
If you read my earlier posts, you’ll recall my OM was seeing another woman immediately prior to us getting together. They used to do weekend workshops together every so often. It came up last night that there is a workshop due in 2 weeks, and he asked her if she still wanted him to join her in running it. Initially she said no, as things had changed (him being with me). He said he replied that they should “let the dust settle” as perhaps she will feel differently later. Apparently, later she did indeed change her mind. But what he said pushed a button for me, as I have been meaning to talk to him about his attitude to my depression (“everyone has bad days”) as I didn’t think he took me seriously. I suppose I was wondering if this was the case with the other woman, so I asked if he had really heard her feelings. He said he had taken her feelings into account, as he had acknowledged that they may change. I still think he missed the point.
He asked why it was an issue for me, I said because I don't want emotions getting complicated around this situation (his & hers). Anyhow, he asked if I felt threatened by her, I said yes, so he said he wouldn’t do the workshop.
This morning I guess being Monday morning, and still being touchy about the conversation the night before, he moved my handbag into the hall as we were getting ready to leave and I said “Oh, don’t hurry me!”. He said he was only trying to help and he got a slap in the face. I like to get myself together, and I felt panicky when he was moving my things around before I was ready. I apologised and explained, and said, in future, would he please ask before moving my things, and he replied rather defensively “Oh I won’t bother then!” I tried to explain that I was only requesting what I wanted, not carrying on the argument, but things had got pretty sticky between us by this point.
We carried on talking, and I challenged him about what he had said about getting a slap in the face. I said I didn’t slap you. He said I’m not saying you intended to…I said ”BUT I DIDN’T SLAP YOU!” I feel pretty strongly about this. He says its just language, he won’t retract it.
Aaaargh!!!!!!!!!
God, relationships are difficult! If we can get in such a state through our communication difficulties!
Lintilla
I haven’t posted for a while as I got a new job, and it is in an open-plan office.
We had a bit of conflict last night/this morning, I’d just like to write it down to get it out of me, please feel free to comment if you want.
If you read my earlier posts, you’ll recall my OM was seeing another woman immediately prior to us getting together. They used to do weekend workshops together every so often. It came up last night that there is a workshop due in 2 weeks, and he asked her if she still wanted him to join her in running it. Initially she said no, as things had changed (him being with me). He said he replied that they should “let the dust settle” as perhaps she will feel differently later. Apparently, later she did indeed change her mind. But what he said pushed a button for me, as I have been meaning to talk to him about his attitude to my depression (“everyone has bad days”) as I didn’t think he took me seriously. I suppose I was wondering if this was the case with the other woman, so I asked if he had really heard her feelings. He said he had taken her feelings into account, as he had acknowledged that they may change. I still think he missed the point.
He asked why it was an issue for me, I said because I don't want emotions getting complicated around this situation (his & hers). Anyhow, he asked if I felt threatened by her, I said yes, so he said he wouldn’t do the workshop.
This morning I guess being Monday morning, and still being touchy about the conversation the night before, he moved my handbag into the hall as we were getting ready to leave and I said “Oh, don’t hurry me!”. He said he was only trying to help and he got a slap in the face. I like to get myself together, and I felt panicky when he was moving my things around before I was ready. I apologised and explained, and said, in future, would he please ask before moving my things, and he replied rather defensively “Oh I won’t bother then!” I tried to explain that I was only requesting what I wanted, not carrying on the argument, but things had got pretty sticky between us by this point.
We carried on talking, and I challenged him about what he had said about getting a slap in the face. I said I didn’t slap you. He said I’m not saying you intended to…I said ”BUT I DIDN’T SLAP YOU!” I feel pretty strongly about this. He says its just language, he won’t retract it.
Aaaargh!!!!!!!!!
God, relationships are difficult! If we can get in such a state through our communication difficulties!
Lintilla