I'm new and I need some advice

First ofm let me start by introducing myself. My name is Mike, I'm 18 years old, and unfortunately I'm currently single.

Anyway, I've been with this one girl for roughly 9 and a half months. It might not seem long to you but it is to me. Everything was going great with us, or so I thought. It turns out she didn't want to get into anything to serious yet, which is understandable. She also said she wants to get the thrill of dating in before she goes into a serious relationship. I told her that was fine with me. Then a few days ago we were both talking to one of my friends online. He asked her why she broke up with me and she said it was because she didn't love me anymore.

Then, two days ago I went to her house to see if that was all true. She said it wasn't and that she still loves me and has strong feelings for me. Then she ended up kissing me like we always used to when we were together. She also promised me that we would get back together eventually.

The problem is I've been depredded since she broke up with me, but I've been even more so since she told me we would get back together. That wasn't the depressing part. The depressing part was when she told me that she fooled around with a nother guy. Basically, my question is, what should I do because I can't stand being away from her and I cant seem to move on even for a temporary thing.

Hi, Mike.

My understanding is that she made the statement about not being in love with you in your presence? (or the internet equivalent) If that's true, then either she was trying to hurt you for some reason or she was telling the truth. Unless you like being treated like a yo-yo, you might want to decide whether you want to be toyed with.

After nine and a half months it is not unreasonable for you to think you might be in a serious committed relationship. If she didn't want to be in that type of relationship why did it take her so long to figure that out? So now she's off getting the "thrill " of dating (and oh, what a thrill it is, let me tell ya :rolleyes: ) and you are sitting at home waiting for her to call? If you let her she will keep you waiting forever. Think about whether being treated like this is really what's best for you.

I know it's hard to be strong and walk away. (More than you know.) But sometimes you just have to do what's right for you.

Well, she told me online one day and the next day she contracted her statement and confessed that it was a lie and she still does love me. And eventhough we aren't together she still kisses me and says she loves me. The only goo thing coming out of this is she said it might not be too, too long before we get backtogether. She said it could be as short as a couple months or as long ubtil she graduates from high school. Either way, she will take me back. And as hard as I try to just forget about it and move on, something in my heart tells me to wait and makes me feel even worse than before. Basically, I'm in a no-win situation. Either I keep waiting and be depressed or I move on and risk hurting both of us.

Mike,

All she's doing is keeping you waiting. Do really think you want to be with someone who would treat you like this? Maybe you can't see this objectively. I'm sure of that, in fact. But if you could see this the way I see it you would run. No one that really cares about you would do this. Please don't waste your time waiting for someone who is only keeping you waiting on a shelf. Sure she'll get you down and play with you once in a while when she feels like it, but what do you get in return? Certainly not respect or compassion or love. If you let her get away with this she'll learn that she can treat you any way she likes and you'll stick around for it. Don't be her doormat, Mike.

I'm truly sorry if this comes across as harsh, but I want you to understand how badly she really is treating you. I wish you could see that.

Been there done that got the battle scar...

Here's my advice...

Cowboy up and move on with it.

There could be a million reasons why she's doing what she's doing - so what? Things are what they are and they're not
what you want or deserve right?

Be your best friend and take care of yourself, allow her to do the same as long as it doesn't interfere with your mojo.

Also, don't be surprised that when she starts to feel like she's really lost you - she does a full frontal assault to get you back.

SNSW

P.S. I'm 39...

SORRY FOLKS......IT APPEARS THAT THIS IS THE WRONG SIDE FOR MIKE BECAUSE HE POSTED THIS SAME THREAD ON THE OTHER SIDE AND HAVEN'T ANSWERED ANYONE HERE YET

Welcome to the site, Mike.

SomeNightSW is right. Get up and move on with your life. When she's realized that you're not for playing her game, she'll either straighten up and approach you or she move on as well.

Again, as SomeNightSW said, I've also been there and done that. In my case, it was with a young lady whom I met and stuck around for about 6 years. I realized that she wasn't looking for a relationship with me and I moved on. In fact, I so moved on that she finally came to after she learned that I had gotten married to another woman. To this day, I've since moved on and into a different state and she is still asking me to buy her a plane ticket to visit me.:confused:

He was answering me at first, but a lot more people on the other side are helping him, so he's busy with that. They're 17 and 18 anyways, so it doesn't really matter what side he goes to.

Originally posted by PinkPanther_04
He was answering me at first, but a lot more people on the other side are helping him, so he's busy with that. They're 17 and 18 anyways, so it doesn't really matter what side he goes to.
Aw well, just tell him that everyone has welcomed him here as well.

I just want to thank you all for your great advice. I just hope that this will all work out one way or the other.

Originally posted by MikeB85
I just want to thank you all for your great advice. I just hope that this will all work out one way or the other.

It will.

Mike, how old is the person you were dating? At 17, 18 it is not unusual to have 2nd thoughts about being too young and wanting to date a little more.

If you can back off and try to be 'cool', she would have a chance to see what it feels like to miss you. Just another suggestion.

I know it is difficult... I am sorry you are going through this... take care.