runner246 11-21-2003, 11:45 PM A few days ago, I posted a message about my taking a liking to a 35 year old man (we attend the same social group at a few churches). Anyway, I saw him this evening. He had a woman with him, and after the meeting ended, they were hugging and kissing in the parking lot. I was very crushed.
SO...
Instead of dealing with the prospect of entering into a relationship with this OM, I must now face these possibilities:
1) He has NO IDEA how I feel about him.
2) He does, but is simply not interested.
3) The feelings are mutual, but he does not want to get into a relationship with ME, a 19 year old college student.
Any advice would be great.
Ballet_dreamer 11-22-2003, 12:29 AM Hi,
I'm kind of in the same situation as you, but without (I hope?) another woman involved.
Don't give up on the possibility of a relationship just yet. Have you ever seen this woman before or has he ever mentioned her? Maybe you could ask him something about her after your next Church meeting, but just in a general way, such as 'I saw you with a woman who had the most gorgeous t-shirt/earrings/etc on last week, I've wanted one like that for ages, where did she get it type of thing?' For all you know she may not even be his girlfriend - she may be his sister picking him up or a cousin visiting him who is not religious and so didn't go to church with him. I think you should try and find out who she is before you decide there is no hope for you to get together.
If you really like him I think its important to try and tell him or find out if he feels the same way about you (I know its easier said than done, I've been given this advice too but I'm just too shy). Its the only way that you'll feel better about it. He may really like you but think that you'd never be interested in him becasue of the age gap. There are so many possibilities and 'ifs' that it will cause you less heartache to just ask him how he feels.
Good Luck and don't give up yet :) I hope it goes OK
BD
runner246 11-22-2003, 12:41 AM WELL...
This man has 2 children under 2 years old (who he brings to the group) and the woman may have been his ex-wife; she didn't look the same as when I had seen her a while ago, but then again, I wasn't interested in him then, so I didn't size her up :D
At any rate, about six months ago, a bunch of us went out to dinner. He and I sat across from one another, and I got the impression he was telling another woman about his dating life at the time in order to get a reaction out of me (you follow?) :). Maybe he was, in a more mature way, trying to make me jealous? WHO KNOWS...
At the present time, he and I exchange long glances, short glances, smiles, "hellos", but we never have a LONG conversation.
OH, what a pickle I am in! :confused:
Softiee19 11-22-2003, 07:17 AM I agree with Mena, Life is to short, and if you don't tell him how you feel, you are always going to wonder what might of been... This way you atleast know... If he dosen't return your feelings, life goes on, and it just means that you haven't met *the One* yet, but they are out there! Waiting to meet you :}
Best of luck, and keep us posted!
-Softiee
MerAlove23 11-22-2003, 07:40 AM well runner.... My suggestion is to probably ask him....... tell him what you saw.. don't sugar coat it.... and see..... but I'm sorry I wouldn't waste my time on him after that.!!
Good Luck and let us know what happens....Look in your heart it will tell you what to do...
TheChosen1 11-22-2003, 07:56 AM Runner, I'll have to agree with Meena on this one. Speak now or forever hold your peace. I'm getting the impression that this woman could possibly be his ex-wife or even his babies' mother. So it wouldn't hurt to confront him about it.
runner246 11-22-2003, 10:21 AM His ex-wife and his sons' mother is one in the same...
Just thought I'd add that one since you brought it up ;)
Also, WHAT should I say to him when I approach him?
In reality, I am wondering how he is going to react to a 19 year old telling him he is the hottest thing since sliced bread (j/k) :p
TheChosen1 11-22-2003, 02:47 PM Originally posted by runner246
;) Also, WHAT should I say to him when I approach him?
In reality, I am wondering how he is going to react to a 19 year old telling him he is the hottest thing since sliced bread (j/k) :p
Just be upfront and to the point with him, runner.
Hmmm, a 35 year old man being told that he's hot by a 19 year old woman? Been there, done that, still got the bite marks, dear. So I'm sure it's been done to him before. But be upfront with him about it and don't let it appear that you only want to be a part time gymnist and part time archeologist, meaning don't give him the impression that you just want to jump his bones. Unless that's your intentions. In which case, that's a totally different thread of its own......LOL
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