STILL trying to start a conversation...

For a week or so, I have been posting about my liking a 35 year old man with 2 small children (I'm 19). I saw him at the social function last night, and afterwards, I had THE PERFECT opportunity to approach him, but I CHICKENED OUT. :rolleyes:

Yes, after all the words of encouragement I have gotten from this board, I blew my chance. NOW, I won't see him until January!

He is still very much on my mind, (even though I saw him kissing another woman after the group on Friday) and now I have to wait until January to see him face to face again...

ARRRGGHH :o

Don't despair! I was too chicken to act on my feelings for K (or even face up to them) for quite some time -- it was after over two years of casual acquaintance that _he_ made the first move. Think about that when you see him again in January, and see if you get inspired to say something!

Or maybe find his phone number and give him a call. That way, you're forced to talk to him, and you'll have to come up with something to say!

I'm big on fate, so if it is meant to be, it will be. Do not fear!
Just make sure that the next time you do see him you MAKE yourself go to talk to him, no matter how scared you are. You own it to yourself!
Good luck!

Love,
A.Jane

There must be a way you can get in touch with him.... do you guys live far apart??? Why won't you see him until January???

As no-one else has asked this - when your OM was seen "kissing" another woman in the parking lot, did he have her backed up against a car and was mauling her relentlessly, or was it a peck on the cheek, the likes of which he'd give his 108yo Great Aunt Hilda?

I think that's a pertinent question.

Although, having said that - there was a woman I had a (big) crush on once who went out of her way to invite me to a going-away party she was throwing. (She was travelling overseas for about seven months.)

I was a little puzzled about the invite because I was sure she had a boyfriend (or more accurately, I strongly suspected she had a boyfriend).

Anyway, I went to the party (knowing no-one) but pretty well kept my distance, not only because of suspected boyfriend, but after-all, she WAS going away.

She seemed a little peeved and at one point came up to a guy right in front of me and almost as if to make a point, launched into this huge, unsolicited PASH-O-RAMA (okay, maybe a five to ten second kiss) which left him looking totally surprised and a little confused. But that was all I needed to confirm the prime suspect.

About eight months later I was talking to her on the phone and she mentioned that she had met a guy overseas and they had travelled back together and were now in a relationship.
I said, "But what happened to your boyfriend? The guy you were kissing at the party?"

And she said, "I was single then. That was just an old friend of mine."



Doh!








Women.

:rolleyes:

Originally posted by runner246
For a week or so, I have been posting about my liking a 35 year old man with 2 small children (I'm 19). I saw him at the social function last night, and afterwards, I had THE PERFECT opportunity to approach him, but I CHICKENED OUT. :rolleyes:

ARRRGGHH :o YOU WUSS!!! LOL, just joking with you Run. I don't know if I mentioned this in any of my post.

But when I worked at a department store in Mission Viejo, CA, I had an enormous crush on a YW coworker of mine. As I mentioned before, I have always been crazy about Salma Heyak and this YW looked alot like a younger version of Hayek. Well, I left the store in October, 2000 and was hired on my current job in December of that same year. Shortly before I left, my coworker announced to us all that she was expecting her 3rd baby with her live-in boyfriend of 6 years.

To make a long story short, she asked me in April, 2001 to come to the store and say good-bye to her before she leave for maturity leave. Well runner, I went to see her and we had a great time talking and laughing about the past. Then I did something that she didn't expect. I sat her down and admitted to her that I had a huge crush on her. In fact, in my own way, I think I was badly in love with her. I sensed a bit of fear from her and I held her hand and further explained that I was well aware of the fact that she was with her babies' father and I did not have the "if I can't have her nobody will" attitude. I just loved her in my heart and I knew that it was all that it could be, nothing else. She was relieved of that and understood what I was saying.

I did this to someone whom I knew I couldn't have a relationship with, Runner. And believe me, that was very hard for me to admit to her. But I felt that if I hadn't told her how I felt about her, I would probably have that love for her burning in my heart forever and I would constantly be haunted with "WHAT IF" for a long time. SO GO FOR IT, Runner. Find a way to get in touch with him and tell him what's on your mind and in your heart.

Earlier, I was asked this:

"As no-one else has asked this - when your OM was seen "kissing" another woman in the parking lot, did he have her backed up against a car and was mauling her relentlessly, or was it a peck on the cheek, the likes of which he'd give his 108yo Great Aunt Hilda?"

Well, "my" OM is tall, probably 6'3"-6'4" and the woman was my height, 5'6"....

So, he was scrunching down hugging her and kissing her. Now, since it was nighttime, I couldn't see clearly enough as to whether or not it was a friendly peck or a full-on liplock. All I know is I was crushed.

And, as an answer to another question, I won't be seeing him until January because our group doesn't meet from Thanksgiving-January 7th or 8th.

Can't you make a point to see him???

Can you only see him in the Group?

Yes, I only see him at the church group.

What's funny is, there are 2 or 3 other women (in their 30s) who like this man. I was talking with my older sister yesterday. She said her opinion of him is he likes the attention he gets from these women, regardless of age. If I admitted my feelings to him, she thinks it would only boost his ego. At the same time, one of the reasons I am attracted to him is because he is NOT loud and obnoxious, but rather reserved.

Another thing that crosses my mind is a possible "competition" that may take place. If he and I were to date, there might be some jealousy and hard feelings from their end (the women). I think they might also like him just because he has a good job and a nice car.

But, when I think of him, his material possesions don't even cross my mind (HONESTLY).

i know it is scary, but i think you could feel better if you let him know somehow how you feel, even if nothing comes of it. do you know anything about his life outside of the group where you could find him if you wanted? like his job, home, place he hangs out etc. how about a note or letter?

i was just reading what chosen said and something similar happened to me recently. last week a guy i work with handed me this note right before i went on my break, didn't say much about it. i read it, and it was the nicest thing, he was just honestly expressing that he liked me and had romantic feelings for me, but that he understood i am with someone else and doesn't feel the need to act on his attraction, but wanted me to know. i am not really interested in dating him, but it was really nice and non-threatening and now we are friends, we pass and smile more but it's not weird, it was flattering and it actually made me notice him when i hadn't so much before.

so, i think you if you went for it it would be okay because it would get the feeling of "i want to tell him" off your back and might even work!! and if it doesn't, you haven't lost anything and the ball will be in his court.

Let's say you're not going to see this guy until next year now.
Make it work for you.

Before you see him again, go out and buy a little something for him as a belated Christmas gift. I'm quite sure that those other women won't think of doing that. That way, it'll get his attention for you.

And it doesn't have to be anything extravagent. Trust me, just a Christmas card would be a special thing in his heart when it comes from you because it'll show him that you were thinking of him, even during the holidays. Believe me Runner if you do that, BABY you may not have to say a word to him. Let the gift do it for you.

GOOD LUCK!!!

Chosen,

I did think of a Christmas gift, but I'm wondering if he would feel weird about accepting it if he wasn't interested in me as more than a friend.

This is off topic a little bit, but a couple years ago, my sister had a guy (her age) that admired her very much and would buy her gifts all the time. She always gave them back to him because she wasn't attracted to him and didn't feel right about keeping them. :rolleyes:

A very good idea, but I suppose it all depends on how he receives gifts from 19 year olds not in his family. :p

But your sister did that for she was not attracted to the guy, kinda like a Laura and Urkle thing of "Family Matters". I can understand that. But do you find yourself attractive? Do you think others find you attractive?

Runner,
So far with most of the ideas that we have given you, you have an excuse not to follow them. But you have yet to give us a good REASON and not excuses. It's beginning to seem that you want this guy but you don't want to try to get his attention. Therefore, what exactly is it that you want?

If you want this guy to know how you feel, you're just going to have to forget all of those excuses that you're throwing at us and GO 4 IT!!!

Gain some confidence and become bold. That's the only way you'll succeed.
DROP THE EXCUSES AND GET TO SOME ACTION, RUNNER!!!

Originally posted by runner246
For a week or so, I have been posting about my liking a 35 year old man with 2 small children (I'm 19). I saw him at the social function last night, and afterwards, I had THE PERFECT opportunity to approach him, but I CHICKENED OUT. :rolleyes:

Yes, after all the words of encouragement I have gotten from this board, I blew my chance. NOW, I won't see him until January!

He is still very much on my mind, (even though I saw him kissing another woman after the group on Friday) and now I have to wait until January to see him face to face again...

ARRRGGHH :o
what if some other chick nabs him in between now til january ?
then for sure he will tell you what you fear now.

hey Runner,

Could you please PM me or e-mail me or something because I really need to talk to you about something. I need help with something.

Love,
a.jane

Hello AJAngel...

How do you turn on your Private Messages? Maybe you should just IM me first and we can talk that way.

Beth :D

To turn on your PM msging you have to go to ur profile(use cp) and check the box that allows you to PM. I can not PM you because you do not have it enabled and I cant IM you becauseI dont know what your SN is.

-a.jane