Long term relationships... success stories?

Our age difference... (15 years)

My concern is not for the "here and now". And it's not for 5 or even 10 years distant. My thoughts tend to stray farther down the road... 15, 20 years from now.

I would like to hear from, or about, YW/OM couples who have been together for 15 years or so... are there any here like that?

How do couples handle the differences of priorities as the years go by?

Share your experiences, please!

I, of course, enjoy reading ALL opinions. PLEASE give me food for thought!

Well Johnny,

You will find a few here......But most of the ones that have been together for many years tend to not come to a support site.

I don't think that means they don't exist just that this site isn't really as much about success stories so to say.

Don

Johnny.... You should probably talk to....Jennifer... that's her screen name... she is in a wonderful relationship with her OM.... She is not on tooooo much but maybe PM her She has been in one for awhile and she has children.


Don't worry about the future... how do you know for a fact that either of you are going to be here... Live for the moment .... I Planned out my whole future with my late fiance when I was 23 years old he died... he was 25 years old.... we were together for 7 years... well that dream is over now.....

Now I am married and having a baby..... with a man 17 years older than me.... I love him not his age....I am not trying to be happy in the future I am trying to be happy now... and the happier I am now the happier I will be then to.... so don't worry about that


Just enjoy it!!

Good Luck

My husband (57) and I (31) are not quite up to your 15 year bench mark but we'll be approaching a decade of knowing each other soon (going on 8 years now). We're blissfully happy and I am so very grateful for each blessed day that we have together.

We've weathered many, many storms - age, distance, family acceptance, lunative ex-wife, nasty custody battle, relocation, job issues, etc. etc. etc. and we've both definitely changed through the years. Fortunately, we've grown together as a couple and our relationship is so much stronger than ever before because, I think, of all the "stuff" we've endured.

He's a wonderful man and I have never ever regretted choosing to spend the rest of my life with him. I thank God every night that I was fortunate enough to have yet another wonderful day with my dear husband.

Johnny,

C and I have been together just over 9 years, and celebrated our 7th marriage anniversary this summer. We are not quite to the 15 year mark, but...

I think the biggest change we have encountered has been C's health.

I guess I should mention I am 37 and he is 61, we have a 24 year age gap. C is my first and only husband, but he had been married several times before and has grown children. When I met him every other relationship I had ever had suddenly seemed shallow, insignificant, and downright silly. Beyond the fun of a new romance were feelings so profound I couldn’t put them into words. I suddenly understood what a soul mate was, and it was amazing.

Now, having said that, I was also a realist. I married C fully aware (OK I made a list) of all of the difficulties that could (would) arise. I know I will one day be more of a nurse than a wife. I know I will come home from work exhausted, and then I will care for him as I would an aging parent.

C is a diabetic who smokes. I know what that means. I don’t know if he will die of a heart attack, stroke, or a slow ugly death from emphysema, but I do know I will be there to watch it. I will also be there for all that comes before. The hair loss, dentures, arthritis, back pain, and all of the complications of diabetes (kidney problems, impotence….). I will be there because I choose to be. I can’t imagine my life without him- I don’t want to try.

Several years ago (after a doctor visit) I held C’s face in my hands and said, “I will love you when you are old, and bald, and have no teeth.” Then we both cried.

I think the other changes/issues we have experienced are normal for every relationship. Buying a house, making wills, negotiating who will take out the trash this time…

BTW- please, no one try to tell me I don’t know what the future holds. Yes, I could be in an accident and he could be the one changing my Depends. My point is I know what is likely to happen, what is happening, and I this is what I choose, with no regrets. He would do the same for me.

Sometimes I think the fact we know our time is shorter than we would like is an advantage. I feel treasured, and I do my best to let him know how much I love and need him also.

So, there you have my two cents! Hope it helps!

Meg

Meg - Thank you for that. It is important to hear those things.

I fear it all the time. But I want to keep loving my husband in exactly the same way you do no matter what happens.

I think that the beauty of age-gap relationships is exactly that you cannot go into them blind. They are generally more well-thought through.

My husband is 52 and smokes. He has been in pretty perfect health thus far (knock on wood), but I know that won't last forever. I love him more now than I did when we were married one year ago Saturday (the 30th).