I need opinions/support

Well, here goes..I started seeing/flirting and talking with my OM while he was still married. He is now seperated. We have no problems with our relationship except for a certain person who HATES the relationship that we have. He knew the wife and my OM before I got involved.
This person happens to be my BIL, which makes it very difficult for my sis..also my OM lives across the street from them.

My BIL has calls me and complaines and *****es about how this is ruining his marriage and friendship w/ my OM. I feel it's none of his business and that my OM is a 57 yr. old man that knew what he was getting into. I hate that my BIL always makes me feel guilty for now being with OM. I know that the only thing we did "wrong" was playfully flirt while he was married. Nothing physical occured during this time.

My OM is getting a little annoyed w/ the BIL because of the harassment and has stated several times to him. My sis, has no problem whats so ever w/ our relationship and basically tells BIL to mind his own business.

But I still feel on pins and needles around him..when he is around we try to be respectful of BIL's feelings and not be lovey-dovey.

I hate this..........my OM tries to reassure me, but there is always a bit of stress because of this.. :(

Originally posted by Iluvhim
I started seeing/flirting and talking with my OM while he was still married. He is now seperated.
a certain person who HATES the relationship that we have. He knew the wife and my OM before I got involved.
This person happens to be my BIL, which makes it very difficult for my sis

My BIL has calls me and complaines and *****es about how this is ruining his marriage and friendship w/ my OM.

But I still feel on pins and needles around him..when he is around we try to be respectful of BIL's feelings and not be lovey-dovey.

I know how you feel. When I first met my OM he was already married and my best friend (at the time) was his step-daughter. It was through the best friend that I met him. Well my best friends mother decided she didn't want to be married anymore......so she left him. When she left him....my best friend and her mom moved out and abandoned him.

After they had left him....I had gotten with him. As soon as the best friend found that out....we were no longer friends (or could no longer stay friends).

I know its hard on you when you have a friend that doesn't understand why you'd want to be with someone older than you. But just keep in mind how good you have it with your OM.

Best of luck with your friend and your OM.

Crystal

What the hell is this guy's problem? Obviously something you've done in his mind has made him very insecure. How can you ruin HIS marriage? I know he's your brother-in-law, but I'd tell him to worry about the ball in HIS court instead of what's going on with the game across the street. He's a little too interested in my book, and only someone who knew him better could answer me why. Don't hang out with him, plain and simple. You're not going to change his mind, or relieve his mental hang-ups, so don't beat your head off this rock. It's weird. It's stupid. Slip a note in his mailbox that reads "If it is not your business, do not make it so." Then make a point of being busy when he's around. Some people just don't get that they can only control themselves, and even fewer of these people know that they SHOULD only want to control themselves.

Slip a note in his mailbox that reads "If it is not your business, do not make it so."

And if you can find a dead bunny - you can really make your point! :D

Live your life for you. Do what makes you happy while still remembering to treat others with respect. It is simply a colossal waste of time to try to "make" others agree with your choices and to worry yourself when they don't. In the end, those people that truly love you will stand by you irrespective of whether or not they agree with your choices. And aren't those the people that we want to surround ourselves with anyhow?

Hey there.. what else can I say.......Great advice above...

Live your life for you as dmb said that's the best right there I so agree.. Its YOUR life not his and tell him as much...... good Luck to you ok... and Live for you and no one else!

I don’t know but… It seems that no matter how bad a marriage might have been the end is usually painful. People need time to adjust.

Maybe your BIL thinks harassing you and your OM will make things go back to the way they were. In other words, the way he thinks things should be.