Hi, I'm new here and haven't really used message boards before, but I felt like I needed to speak to some people with similar feelings to me.
I'm 19 year old girl and am not in a relationship. I really want to find an older man, but all the men I've ever liked have been over fifty. I'm worried about going out with a man more than 30 years older than me, but I'm just not attracted to anyone younger.
I guess I'm just looking for advice on how best to deal with this.
I'm friends with a lot of older men, but I can't imagine how to make the next step.
I've thought about waiting until I'm a bit older but I'm getting desperate. I'm kinda realising that these feelings are not going to go away liked I'd hoped, and I actually don't want them to anymore, but I know if I tell my family and friends that I'm dating a man in his fifties, they'll be discusted.
I just don't know what to do! All I know is that I want an older man, and soon, but is 30+ years to big a gap? The alternative is staying single for a few more years at least, and I don't want to do do that.
Any advice would be very welcome,
thanks,
Shon
PinkPanther_04 12-07-2003, 09:41 PM First off, welcome to the boards. :)
As you will probably notice the more posts you read here, most of the relationships here began and developed by chance. I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with narrowing down your search to a particular age group (after all, that's what most of society does anyways - it just happens that the age group they narrow it down to is the one they also belong to), but any relationship should develop naturally and not be forced. If you want to be in an equal relationship with anyone they'll have to accept you as you are, so just do the same things you would do with anyone you were interested in. Don't worry about trying to act differently just because the guy's older than you. People are people regardless of age (this is assuming you don't act like a goofy teenager and read TigerBeat Magazine - an NSYNC concert is not a good idea for a first date :D ).
The family and friends issue is something you'll have to deal with, and it really depends on your personal situation. If you do get involved in a serious relationship with someone that much older than you there will be some long-term issues you'll have to work out. That doesn't mean it can't work, but there will certainly be hurdles along the way.
I do want to say that I think it would be a mistake to overlook someone just because of their age. Great people come in all ages. The perfect guy might come along tomorrow and if he's the same age as you, you won't even see him and you'll miss out.
rollsharley 12-07-2003, 10:43 PM Welcome shon,
I can't say that your post doesn't sound a bit unusual to me. And that I'd need to hear a bit more from you before I could actually give any advice.
I hate to be negative but your post sounds more like a troll than a valid poster. At least until you explain why you seek only 50 + men? Or why you need to find one soon? Or why you think your getting desperate?
I'm sorry but this sounds very much like the type of stuff spewed out in chat rooms to hook guys for their money. I hope you can post again and give a better understanding to us. Or at least to remove my doubts that you do have good intentions.
At that time I will be more than glad to apologize for saying your first post looked like you were a scam artist.
Don
TheChosen1 12-07-2003, 10:53 PM http://www.alcofielen.com/pics/forumpics/new/troll.gif
First and foremost, welcome to the AL board Shon. Glad to have you here, assuming that you're serious, and I hope you find all of the help and support that you seek here.
As for your question, I agree with P Square. Speaking as an OM, we're not looking for that cute, little ditzy cheerleader or a blonde bimbo, as is often depicted on TV and the media. Simply be yourself. Don't try to act like you have a PhD or you like to build rockets every weekend during your spare times. In other words, JUST BE YOURSELF!!!.
In case you're interested, Hugh Hefner is still available.
dmbdmo 12-08-2003, 09:07 AM Life rarely if ever turns out the way you envision. I wasn't looking for an older man, but he's my soulmate and I couldn't be happier. Be open to any and all experiences that come your way instead of wasting your time trying to "paint your future." True love - for those of us fortunate enough to find it - happens in its own time and way.
MerAlove23 12-09-2003, 08:43 AM Hey and welcome to the site!!!
Chosen how come you didn't give her her traditional Newbie picture huh?????
anyway.....I understand your attracted to an older men but I would just consider you being attracted to a man... Age shouldn't be the issue...
Like Pink said you definatly can limit yourself to a certain age group.. but love comes in all shapes and sizes ya know.....I would just live life happy and when the right man comes along you'll know it ... whether he's older, younger, or the same age....
Good Luck and let us know
TheChosen1 12-09-2003, 12:15 PM Originally posted by MerAlove23
Hey and welcome to the site!!!
Chosen how come you didn't give her her traditional Newbie picture huh?????
Actually, I did.
Then another member & I had this strange preminition that we're chatting with a troll instead of an actual "newbie".
So I posted a pic to let them feel more at home.
PinkPanther_04 12-09-2003, 12:32 PM Aw, I don't think she's a troll. She does sound a lot like some of the younger guys that come here looking for older women with that "I must have an older man!!!" stuff.
rollsharley 12-09-2003, 04:01 PM Originally posted by PinkPanther_04
Aw, I don't think she's a troll. She does sound a lot like some of the younger guys that come here looking for older women with that "I must have an older man!!!" stuff.
Well its possible shes not! Which is why I said At that time I will be more than glad to apologize. Till she posts again with a better understanding though I'm sticking with saying it just sounds a bit odd.
Don
MerAlove23 12-10-2003, 09:45 AM Hmmmmm... Interesting......
EMCAD80 12-10-2003, 12:07 PM Well, she hasn't posted...I'll wait to put in my 2 cents till she posts again. I hope she isn't a troll, I'd like to give her my input...but I guess we'll see.
TheChosen1 12-11-2003, 06:30 AM Seems ironic that we're getting alot of drive by postings every week. Such a bad random act of shanizzle.
But in agreement with Rollsharley, if she returns I'll edit my original post and add the more appropiate "newbie" pic. In addition, I'll delete the other posts (excluding this one). But that remains to be seen.
MerAlove23 12-12-2003, 08:28 PM OMG chosen a pic of you!!! How wonderful......
where is your smile???
Nice Pic though!!!!
I guess troll it is right?
rollsharley 12-12-2003, 09:43 PM _________________________
Yup Flatlined! 5 Days!
<....calls time of death to this Troll Thread! 9:43 PM EST!
:D
MerAlove23 12-13-2003, 08:47 AM Rolls leave it to you to think of that LOL .. to funny
TheChosen1 12-17-2003, 04:11 AM Originally posted by MerAlove23
OMG chosen a pic of you!!! How wonderful......
where is your smile???
Nice Pic though!!!!
I guess troll it is right?
To be honest with you, MerAlove, I rarely smile in pics unless I happen to be laughing at the time of the pic. My ex-wife used to tell people that it was "that damn cop mentality" of mine. In fact, whenever my pics for DMV, police ID, and even my current employee ID have me looking like a Puerto Rican prisoner. All I need is the prison number plaque to hold in front of my chest.
Also note that it is now DAY 20 and we've been shunned by Shon. Maybe she found her OM and forgot about this post.......LOL :D
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