Jo-Admin
12-10-2003, 09:53 AM
For everyone who has not had the pleasure, meet Melodee, or '"Whisper" as you know her here on Ageless. I think Melodee and her husband are a very inspiring couple on many levels. They have one of the larger age gaps, 27 years, started out on the internet AND in two separate countries, and now have a life together as husband and wife. *hugs* to Melodee for sharing her life with us here on the site.
Jody: First, just for a little background, what is the age-gap in your relationship, and how long have you been married?
Melodee: I am 27 years older than Jeremy, and we have been married for a little over two years.
Jody: Can you tell us a little bit about how you and your husband first met? Did you prefer younger men at that point, or did you just happen to fall in love with a younger man?
Melodee: I used to speak French and German fluently and had forgotten quite a bit of the French. I decided to go to Yahoo France and see if I could find a chatroom where I could listen to (and watch) French people speaking their language. Jeremy kept trying to talk to me as he was interested in practicing English with an American (my I.D. was femmeamericaine). When he sent me an instant message a couple of days later, I asked him why he was chasing me around the internet, lol. He said that he wasn't chasing me; he just wanted to have someone to practice English with. We ended up writing to each other as friends for several months. My French improved tremendously, as did his English, lol.
I wasn't looking for a relationship at that time, but I had always been attracted to men younger than myself.
Jody: As always, I have to ask...were you worried about your family's reaction to your relationship, and what was their initial reaction?
Melodee: I was very worried about my family's reaction to our relationship. I was certain that they would all think that I'd lost my mind (which they did think). I spent a long time listening to how I was crazy to think I could be attracted to or in love with a mere "kid."
When Jeremy's mother first learned of my age, she screamed into the phone from France, "Are you crazy, Jeremy? Do you want to sleep with your mother or something?" They planned to come to the U.S. to talk some sense into their son and take him back to France. He told them not to bother.
Jeremy's parents have visited us twice, and they liked me after they spent a few days getting to know me. We get along really well now! We have a lot of fun together when they're here.
My mother just loves Jeremy now. A year after we had bought a new home, my mother became very sick and lost her ability to walk or even sit up for long. Jeremy encouraged me to quit my job so that I could take care of my mother (she was wasting away in a nursing home). I loved my job, but Jeremy said, "you only have one mother." We rented our house out and moved into my mother's house (which was only one story and more handicapped friendly). We've been here for over a year now.
Jody: Was the fact that you would not be able to have biological children together ever an issue for the two of you?
Melodee: Jeremy would love to have a young child (we are raising my three teen sons). We sometimes talk about international adoption. I know that Jeremy would be an excellent father, and I would love to be able to raise a child together with him. I just don't know if it's too ridiculous for me to think of doing such a thing at my age (when I said that to him, he said "yeah, and how "ridiculous" is it for a woman to be with a man 26 years younger?" lol)
Out of love, he tells me that he would stay with me and love me even if he couldn't have a child. Out of love, I tell him that I would consider raising a child with him.
Jody: I know that your husband originally was from France, and that has caused you both a lot of difficulties here recently....How is that situation now?
Melodee: We are still dealing with immigration issues. We have to go back to continue our interview on Feb. 4. I am afraid of it, despite the fact that we love each other deeply. I've heard of two couples who were denied due to the fact that their marriages weren't believed to be sincere (the wives were much older than the husbands, but I'll bet that if the husbands had been older than the wives, no one would have thought twice about it). It's a constant challenge for me not to buy into the fear, though.
Jody: What do you find different about a relationship with a younger man, as opposed to an older man?
Melodee: He is always ready to listen to me and talk with me. I doubt that has anything to do with age, though. Actually, my husband acts much older than I do. He wants to hang around the house most of the time...like an old man, lol. He's really mellow and I'm totally hyper. He's very organized and I'm scattered all over the place.
The only thing that I get tired of, that may or may not have to do with his age, is watching so many fighting/action films...everything is always high intensity. I'm high intensity by nature, so I'd prefer to watch more films that mellow me out a little more; some of those films would probably bore him. There are, though, a lot of films that we've both loved watching together.
Jody: Where do you see yourself five years from now?
Melodee: I see us still living as though we're on an eternal honeymoon. We've been together as a couple for three years now, and our love just keeps growing deeper every day.
Jody: Do you have any advice for others who are considering an age-gap relationship?
Melodee: My advice is to listen to your heart and not to what others say. Yes, there are many obstacles to overcome in an age-gap relationship, but there are obstacles to overcome in any relationship - and many times, overcoming those obstacles together is what strengthens and deepens the love between two people.
And...don't worry about the older partner wanting to leave the younger partner for a "younger version" later on.....like my husband says, "why would I ever want to leave you for a younger woman? You weren't young when I fell in love with you in the first place, so why would I leave you for a young woman?";)
Jody: First, just for a little background, what is the age-gap in your relationship, and how long have you been married?
Melodee: I am 27 years older than Jeremy, and we have been married for a little over two years.
Jody: Can you tell us a little bit about how you and your husband first met? Did you prefer younger men at that point, or did you just happen to fall in love with a younger man?
Melodee: I used to speak French and German fluently and had forgotten quite a bit of the French. I decided to go to Yahoo France and see if I could find a chatroom where I could listen to (and watch) French people speaking their language. Jeremy kept trying to talk to me as he was interested in practicing English with an American (my I.D. was femmeamericaine). When he sent me an instant message a couple of days later, I asked him why he was chasing me around the internet, lol. He said that he wasn't chasing me; he just wanted to have someone to practice English with. We ended up writing to each other as friends for several months. My French improved tremendously, as did his English, lol.
I wasn't looking for a relationship at that time, but I had always been attracted to men younger than myself.
Jody: As always, I have to ask...were you worried about your family's reaction to your relationship, and what was their initial reaction?
Melodee: I was very worried about my family's reaction to our relationship. I was certain that they would all think that I'd lost my mind (which they did think). I spent a long time listening to how I was crazy to think I could be attracted to or in love with a mere "kid."
When Jeremy's mother first learned of my age, she screamed into the phone from France, "Are you crazy, Jeremy? Do you want to sleep with your mother or something?" They planned to come to the U.S. to talk some sense into their son and take him back to France. He told them not to bother.
Jeremy's parents have visited us twice, and they liked me after they spent a few days getting to know me. We get along really well now! We have a lot of fun together when they're here.
My mother just loves Jeremy now. A year after we had bought a new home, my mother became very sick and lost her ability to walk or even sit up for long. Jeremy encouraged me to quit my job so that I could take care of my mother (she was wasting away in a nursing home). I loved my job, but Jeremy said, "you only have one mother." We rented our house out and moved into my mother's house (which was only one story and more handicapped friendly). We've been here for over a year now.
Jody: Was the fact that you would not be able to have biological children together ever an issue for the two of you?
Melodee: Jeremy would love to have a young child (we are raising my three teen sons). We sometimes talk about international adoption. I know that Jeremy would be an excellent father, and I would love to be able to raise a child together with him. I just don't know if it's too ridiculous for me to think of doing such a thing at my age (when I said that to him, he said "yeah, and how "ridiculous" is it for a woman to be with a man 26 years younger?" lol)
Out of love, he tells me that he would stay with me and love me even if he couldn't have a child. Out of love, I tell him that I would consider raising a child with him.
Jody: I know that your husband originally was from France, and that has caused you both a lot of difficulties here recently....How is that situation now?
Melodee: We are still dealing with immigration issues. We have to go back to continue our interview on Feb. 4. I am afraid of it, despite the fact that we love each other deeply. I've heard of two couples who were denied due to the fact that their marriages weren't believed to be sincere (the wives were much older than the husbands, but I'll bet that if the husbands had been older than the wives, no one would have thought twice about it). It's a constant challenge for me not to buy into the fear, though.
Jody: What do you find different about a relationship with a younger man, as opposed to an older man?
Melodee: He is always ready to listen to me and talk with me. I doubt that has anything to do with age, though. Actually, my husband acts much older than I do. He wants to hang around the house most of the time...like an old man, lol. He's really mellow and I'm totally hyper. He's very organized and I'm scattered all over the place.
The only thing that I get tired of, that may or may not have to do with his age, is watching so many fighting/action films...everything is always high intensity. I'm high intensity by nature, so I'd prefer to watch more films that mellow me out a little more; some of those films would probably bore him. There are, though, a lot of films that we've both loved watching together.
Jody: Where do you see yourself five years from now?
Melodee: I see us still living as though we're on an eternal honeymoon. We've been together as a couple for three years now, and our love just keeps growing deeper every day.
Jody: Do you have any advice for others who are considering an age-gap relationship?
Melodee: My advice is to listen to your heart and not to what others say. Yes, there are many obstacles to overcome in an age-gap relationship, but there are obstacles to overcome in any relationship - and many times, overcoming those obstacles together is what strengthens and deepens the love between two people.
And...don't worry about the older partner wanting to leave the younger partner for a "younger version" later on.....like my husband says, "why would I ever want to leave you for a younger woman? You weren't young when I fell in love with you in the first place, so why would I leave you for a young woman?";)