ladiebug
12-10-2003, 05:47 PM
Ok, first of all thanks to everyone who posted...I was shocked when I came onlilne and saw all the replys...you all rock!!!!
Maybe I should clear a few things up first...well I have never tried to be her parent...because I'm not and never will be. However, I do live in this house and pay the mortgage with her father...all I want is a basic understanding and followthrough of what is expected of her...the job- paying her own way-the trnsp. issue...I have talked to "A" about this many many times, he knows how I feel and he even agrees...it is just hard for him to follow through..and I understand he is in a difficult situation between me and her...but she is not a child anymore even though she acts like it - he and I are married and we need to agree on things to a degree and then he needs to try and implment them with her...and he is getting better at this - I realize it is hard for him because he is rather laid back and would rather let things fall into place then take any sort of action...but anyways...as I have said he knows how I feel, what I meant in the last post was that I have not and am not going to say anything about what I found on the online journal (me being "psycho**badword**")...I am staying quiet about that because I just don't see what the point is in druging it all up...he will just try and defend her and I will look like the bad one as I always do...*sighs*
So, I am not wanting to parent her...I am not her mother...maybe on some terms a friend, but I don't take any parental actions with her...I just want a small amount of respect in the home I help pay for and the sake of the marriage with her father. It is her problem if she can't get over us being married and happy (other than this issue) This is our time...all I am asking is for her to shut up and do her own thing and figure it out on her own...thats all I want too for "A" and I to be able to do our own thing...which is impossible with her all over him...I would understand if she was 5 - but shes not...and I don't care that emotionally and mentally she may only be 5....too bad! Maybe this is the point where I should mention that I do have alot of eduactional knoweldge about these things...I have a degree in art therapy and have worked in alot of setting with screwed up people...from a womans prison to an eating disorders hosp., I basically have a degree in art, social work, education, and psychology all rolled into one as an art therapist so I have delt with all this and know the psychology behind it all which is helpeful to understand why I and "A" and even step moocher feel this way and that and do and say certain things...any ways I guess my point is I don't thing I am being unreasonable or neive...but I feel like that is how people see me with this whole issue...what do you all think?
I am fed up, and trying tmy best to vent in constructive ways like on here and via my art mediums...so I am trying my best to be calm, rational, and reserved for the next month...wish me good luck...I will probably be posting every day on here to vent...I hope thats ok...at least you'll all get a fews laughs out of this crazy thing I call my life...:D
Maybe I should clear a few things up first...well I have never tried to be her parent...because I'm not and never will be. However, I do live in this house and pay the mortgage with her father...all I want is a basic understanding and followthrough of what is expected of her...the job- paying her own way-the trnsp. issue...I have talked to "A" about this many many times, he knows how I feel and he even agrees...it is just hard for him to follow through..and I understand he is in a difficult situation between me and her...but she is not a child anymore even though she acts like it - he and I are married and we need to agree on things to a degree and then he needs to try and implment them with her...and he is getting better at this - I realize it is hard for him because he is rather laid back and would rather let things fall into place then take any sort of action...but anyways...as I have said he knows how I feel, what I meant in the last post was that I have not and am not going to say anything about what I found on the online journal (me being "psycho**badword**")...I am staying quiet about that because I just don't see what the point is in druging it all up...he will just try and defend her and I will look like the bad one as I always do...*sighs*
So, I am not wanting to parent her...I am not her mother...maybe on some terms a friend, but I don't take any parental actions with her...I just want a small amount of respect in the home I help pay for and the sake of the marriage with her father. It is her problem if she can't get over us being married and happy (other than this issue) This is our time...all I am asking is for her to shut up and do her own thing and figure it out on her own...thats all I want too for "A" and I to be able to do our own thing...which is impossible with her all over him...I would understand if she was 5 - but shes not...and I don't care that emotionally and mentally she may only be 5....too bad! Maybe this is the point where I should mention that I do have alot of eduactional knoweldge about these things...I have a degree in art therapy and have worked in alot of setting with screwed up people...from a womans prison to an eating disorders hosp., I basically have a degree in art, social work, education, and psychology all rolled into one as an art therapist so I have delt with all this and know the psychology behind it all which is helpeful to understand why I and "A" and even step moocher feel this way and that and do and say certain things...any ways I guess my point is I don't thing I am being unreasonable or neive...but I feel like that is how people see me with this whole issue...what do you all think?
I am fed up, and trying tmy best to vent in constructive ways like on here and via my art mediums...so I am trying my best to be calm, rational, and reserved for the next month...wish me good luck...I will probably be posting every day on here to vent...I hope thats ok...at least you'll all get a fews laughs out of this crazy thing I call my life...:D