I can use some help right now,

My pride tells me not to share, but being human we all have some short comings..........Right now of all times my husband and I are not doing so well.......I really don't want to go into the details, just can use a friend or two........and most importantly a prayer for our marriage.Thank you for listening.

I will send up a prayer for you.

I hope that you both find a way to reach out to one another and communicate with love and compassion.

If and when you are ready to share, there are some wonderful people here who will listen, I'm certain of it.

Stay strong!

Lorena,

I don't know what problems there may be, and you don't even have to say.. all I know is you are always there with a kind word and a prayer for everyone. So I offer you mine now. You are a very special and sweet lady. Sending hugs and good thoughts your way...

Gen
:)

It is a wise woman indeed that request help and prayer when necessary ... I will, of course, keep you in my prayers ...

Blessings to you and your husband ...

e

I'm praying for you, Lorena, and for your marriage. Sometimes we just have to put things in His hands.

Sad to hear that things are not going well, right now. I will be saying a prayer for you and your marriage. Take Care

Relationships, like a river, ebb and flow. Sometimes, when stuck in an "ebb", one partner needs to be the strong one, and reach out to the other. It doesn't matter which partner it is. Time off, in a secluded, romantic place, away from the kids, is the best marriage booster.

The Holidays are often stressful on marriages and relationships. There's so much expectation, so much involvement of families from both sides, and the financial burden of fulfilling the kids' wishes. The Lord, Jesus Christ, is the reason for the season, but so often times we get wrapped up in outside forces and forget what is truly meaningful (Jewish folks have the same pickle with Hannukah). Relationships become a raging river, both partners just trying to hang on.

I'm praying for you too, Lorena. You're a lovely, wonderful woman who has given so abundantly here. Try to be strong, for your marriage and for your children. Try to reconnect, by whatever means necessary. Like I said, it's easier done away from kids. Time alone, even for a weekend, can make a world of difference to your relationship, as you have uninterrupted time to discover your husband-wife love for eachother, without any outside interference. Don't have time for a weekend? Make a date for Saturday night. Go to a nice restaurant, then to the movies or someplace else you both like. Maybe even spend the night in a local hotel. It's not silly, sometimes it's necessary! Kids can suck the life out of you and your relationship! It's necessary to stop being "mom and dad" for an evening or weekend sometimes, to rekindle the relationship between the two people who started out as Lorena and _____(insert hubby's name here) :)

I will never forget your support and prayers.......I wish I can give you a big hug and show you how grateful I am........I am grateful, that comes from deep in my heart.

You have mine also. May you both find the strength and the wisdom to work through this together.

Dear Lorena,
I do hope things will work out, it is stressfull during the holidays. Keep your faith, and chin up, I am praying for you.
hugz
~Tammy

Lorena,
You always have a kind word for everyone here and definitely deserve our love and support. Like epiphany said, you are a wise woman to seek God in times of trouble. You and your husband will be in my prayers.

Southerngal

I will pray for you and your hubby.


Good luck, and I hope everything works out. :)

Lorena, I'm so sorry to hear that you are having problems. I will say a special prayer tonight for both of you.

My heart is strengthed by all your support, God only knows how much I needed you! I owe it to you to let you know that it has nothing to do with the holidays......it is about the many hurtful things you do that causes your heart to grow cold, and yes there is another woman, who is his sister. She is there to nurse his wounds, and she should not be in the picture, a family member should never get involved.....you can be there to support, but never never, get involved. This has created ill feelings and I don't feel as tho I should not have to compete with anyone, because I'm his wife, and that should account for something. I won't say anything else, but yes we do need your prayers because we are both not speaking to eachother, and that's bad.....I realize my part in this but he needs to see his fault too. Thank God for a loving unconditional God who loves me even when I fall short.

Lorena, I just came here and saw that your thread asking for prayers. I am already praying for you both and will continue to pray. I will also pray that the sister will have the wisdom to realize what her "help" is doing. I also pray that you and your husband will both have the strength to forgive one another and build your relationship back up through healthy, loving communication and love. Hang in there, Lorena. I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now. With God all things are possible.

Lorena...*hugs* How difficult for you to not be speaking.....Definitely you and your husband are in my prayers.

Im awfully sorry that another family member has come between you...Those are very difficult situations. Mine was usually my mother-in-law. I felt as you...as his wife, I should come first.

Your marriage is strong, your comittment is strong, and your faith in the Lord is strong, so I know everything will turn out okay. *big hugs* I will light a candle and say a special prayer for you and your husband tonight...

in my thoughts and prayers...

Lorena,
Hopefully by the time you read this the channels of communication will have opened up. What a waste of time we spend when we lose days of time with our special person. You look like a beautiful couple and you certainly seem like a loving woman.

God bless

To all of you who have taken the time to write me with your couraging words, and most importantly for your prayers.......at this point of time.....I did write him a letter, sometimes it's easier for me to communicate that way, I don't know if what I said upset him more or he just chooses to ignore me......so I'm still ignored, this happened two years ago....it was about his sister then too. He nearly walked out then, and I don't have a clue what he plans to do, but I made a promise to myself that I would never beg him again, I knew that I'm a hard person to live with at times, I'm more out spoken and he keeps everything inside......we both just lost our parents and we both hurt about our older children, but God seems to be doing a work there, all I know is my husband is too angry and won't talk or look at me now. So at this point I'm just leaving him alone, not knowing where this is going.....But I have had some real genurine advise by a very Godly woman here among us, and I need to focus my attention on God, and yes trust Him.....I'm learning that its so important to watch your words in what you say to your spouse, they can love you with their whole heart and yet grow tired of the hurtful things people may say. I'm guilty of not watching my mouth and saying things, in my anger that I really don't mean......God is showing me that there is alot I need to work on as far as my character, in this is a lesson to be learned, I just hope that his heart my husband Adam would see that he has a part in this too.

Hey...sorry to be chiming in late here. I send my best wishes to the both of you. As a therapist I definitely sense that you could use some couples therapy and hope that you are considering that. I am a huge believer in God but I also believe in helping ourselves in whatever way we can & therapy is one way to do that. When communication channels close it's hard to work on issues and sometimes a compassionate outsider can help two people learn how to do it better as well as work through whatever other issues are plaguing the couple. Please consider this if you have not in the past.

And my prayers are with you! Hugs.

of couse we do have a part in it, I know that God expects us to do our part, but right now its kind of hard to say go get counceling when my husband won't even talk to me. He has to be opened to resolving this issue, but isn't at this point. That's where prayer comes in, his heart is hardened. Thankyou for your advise.

Poor sweet Lorena! I am so sorry that you have having problems with your man. It is good of you to realize and admit that sometimes you speak harshly and without thinking to him. I have the same problem and have learned over the years to hold my tongue until I have a chance to think about an issue and then start a calm discussion about it. Men can be very sensitive about relationship issues and hold their feelings inside until they explode and do something rash. As Onetiger suggests, counseling would be the best avenue for you two. If you can't talk to him about going, then go yourself. Write him a letter telling him that you really love him and want to save your marriage, so you are going yourself and hope that he will think about going with you. That will show him that you admit that you are not perfect, but want to work on yourself for the sake of your love. You guys have had such a hard life together with all your problems and have had to be so strong for others that it is understandable that the relationship is suffering.

Letting family interfere with a marriage can be devastating. A friend of mine got herself into a horrible mother-in-law situation when she got married a few years ago. She acceded to her husband's request for them to live with his mother in her house in order to take care of her because she had never made any effort to learn English even though she has been here for decades. Mother-in-law was insulting to my friend and her family and acted as though she herself were her son's wife. Her husband refused to intervene. After less than two years, my friend was ready to get a divorce. Finally, her husband agreed to go to couple's counseling. It took only a couple of sessions for him to see how upset his wife was. From then on, he became more sensitive to her and stopped letting his mother dominate their marriage.

When his sister stayed with us for a few weeks all she did was tell on me to my husband.....you don't treat the woman of the house that way......my poor husband was in the middle, but now in my explaining to him my hurts and anger, he just doesn't seem to care at this point......I have alot of pride, and I won't beg him to see my point of veiw.....God help me to keep some dignity, I do think my honesty hurts, but what would he prefer for me to lie? If he keeps this up, I may just go with it and say bye.....I'm mad and hurt that he doesn't say one word to me, that makes me mad, and I'm only human.

Lorena,

I will give you some advice that will be more effective than you waiting around patiently until he starts talking to you-if-again.
You see....he's feeling secure and smug right now....as your patient and rather "guilty of saying bad things to you" behavior reinforces to him that he's right.

What I propose is this: Remove yourself from his environment, as if you're leaving the relationship. Write him a letter and leave it behind, saying in it that:
You love him
You regret and apologize for saying things that hurt him in your anger, and wish you could take them back.
You realize that you've lost his love and that you have no way of reaching his heart.
That the only thing left to do is leave the relationship and pick up the pieces so you can both move on with your lives.

While you hang around trying to talk with him, "trying anything" in general, it gives him something to fight against.
A letter like that suddenly leaves him with nothing to fight against, except your leaving him. He will be shocked that what he took for granted-your presence-all this time, was not for granted att all, in fact it's GONE. It also conveys to him your apologies and regret, as well as the fact that you love him still.
Notice that you ask him for nothing in the letter-that alone will put him in the proper frame of mind to start having thoughts about what to do to get you back without loosing too much face.
I hope you understand what I am trying to tell you. It is "reverse psychology" and it works wonders.
It's also the most difficult thing to do when you're in love and hurting. It's a lot easier to ask the one you love for what you want and hope they'll give it to you.
A simple way to see this is "If he loves me he'll do something, and if he doesn't, it's best for me to know it".
Many times the guy stays as angry as he wants at a woman, thinking that eventually she will do something to make things ok again. But if she removes herself from the situation instead, his tactic backfires, and noe HE is the one who has to do something, if he wants the relationship.


What do you think?

Almeiraz
www.yourloveadvice.com

Let me pray and see if this is the direction I should take......my poor little boy asked him to take me with them out to eat and he said NO WAY! He does everything to be away from my presense, I think this is ridiculous, how can you say you love someone so much one day and the next day hate her, he needs to grow up. I'm sorry it's hard to not let this rejection affect you, I don't take rejection very well.:(

He said that to your son? That is where I'd have to draw the line. He has no right to disrespect you like that in front of the kids, or drag them into anything. I'm so sorry Lorena, but that is just not right. I know we all say and do things when we are upset/angry that we don't mean, and I know the kids are around and know that mom and dad are arguing, but keep the kids out of it as much as possible. My mom was forever guilty of trying to drag either me or one of my siblings into things against my dad. And though I could sometimes see her point, I did my best to stay out of their arguments. I never liked when she did that, it was such a horrible position to be placed in. I hope that he can keep his thoughts to himself and not say things to the kids.

your so right....I'm guilty of this too especially with my 11 year old son........you would think that after one bad marriage I would learn.........I need alot of prayer, it's so difficult to see the ugliness in oneself, its so humbling, I know change needs to take place in me, here I am a Christian and yet when I examine my life I see how far I am from being a good example, my heart is broken at the same time I'm full of pride, one moment I have peace the next moment I'm dealing with this inner conflict......please pray for me.......remember God isn't finished with me yet.

Lorena,

Thanks for making the effort in being a good friend to me regardless of what's going on in your life. You are awesome and I know you both will find a solution. You and Gee have been so good to me and it's good to know I have friends like you on my side(as well as many others in this site). Stay strong and keep the faith.

Lorena....wish I had some inspiring words....nothing coming to heart except I feel for u and yours and will be praying that GOD sees and knows your difficult situation....love, Darla

I am so sorry, I have to post and disagree with Almeiraz. *hugs Almeiraz* I do think a letter might be good idea. Lorena, my heart just hurts for you, and the way he is acting towards you.

However, I think a letter stating that you have lost his love and the only thing let to do is move on...would cause the situation to literally explode. You really should not ever threaten to leave unless you mean it.....it can have awful repercussions, trust me.

If you try to write him a letter, just tell him the truth. You love him, your hurt, your sorry....etc. which was all good advice. But when someone is in a delicate emotional state, threatening to leave (unless you are really intending to leave) must feel like the ultimate betrayal.

Lorena, look in your heart and talk with God, and you will know what to put in the letter.*hugs*

Im very saddened by the way he is treating you. Not speaking to you is very immature, and what he said to your son was very hurtful, for both for you AND your son. I certainly will keep you in my prayers, that you both will find your way together, and God will help your husband open his heart.

Just want to say this is a marriage, not a casual relationship. Having said that, if i still loved my husband, I would fight to keep my marriage. I believe that is what we are supposed to do with one we felt strongly enough to marry and say we would be with them through thick and thin ...

I agree that sometimes distancing yourself from a situation, any situation, is a good idea. But perhaps just taking a few days to stay at a friend or relative's home so you can both cool off and think better would be helpful. If you do that I would just tell him, not write, that I will be going to such and such's home for just a couple of days, that if he wanted to speak with you he could call you at (give him the number) this location, and that you will be back after you've spent some time thinking and praying about this problem. Add that you love him and believe you will work through this with him and God's help. Then spend some time perhaps writing out your feelings, thoughts and fears ... sometimes that helps me a great deal ... This i believe is taking the high road rather than giving him the option to leave this marriage over a misunderstanding. Be kind in your speech to him and he will know as you speak that you mean to work things out, even if he is not willing to speak at this time ...

Thinking of you and know this will work out ... All we have to do in these situations is learn the life lesson presented quicker than later to move on to the next lesson we have in life. :) After reading your responses, I believe you've discovered some things you might work on (as we all need to continually), and oh yes, I also know you are a quick learner ...

hugs,

e

I know I told you that already but I just have to tell you again I LOVE YOU!........Today I have this inner joy, this sense of knowing, that all things work out for good......I have read all your replies so much wisdom amazing, but in prayer I've taken what I think should apply......I want you to know that my husband is a gentle man, he is kind and thoughful always out there helping others in need, it takes alot for him to get to this point.....I have to learn to keep my mouth shut knowing some things hurt.....his cultural background is so differant from mine which doesn't make it any easier, I don't agree with his methods of handling things, but being the man he is.....he keeps everything inside, until he gets to this point........Now I have purposed in my heart, to leave him alone........I have already wrote a letter explaining why I was so upset about his sister.....but he seems still to upset. I will pray and leave him be, and trust God with the rest......I'm not taking the easier way out, knowing my husband, I'm taking the way I think is best now.........I can't leave with my two children, if it comes to that, he will have to be the one to go, and I'm sure he knows this...........Thankyou again! I know that your prayers are working, may God bless each and everyone of you who took the time to bless me by your prayers!

your husband a gentle man, kind and thoughtful? after what you just wrote? isn't this called 'making excuses'? come. on.

almeiraz gave some pretty right-on advice, girlfriend, and you'd be wise to take it. and what's the reason not to? it's too in-your-face? you don't like her? it's too radical a step? your husband might beat you up if you do something like--yeah, that's it! it's fear for your personal safety, isn't it?

because that's almost always the case. we don't speak up for what we want, we don't leave, we don't make the ultimatums because we are so scared we will be hit or killed by our spouses/boyfriends. if not physically assault us, then sexually assault us. that's the unspoken fear, the one thing we don't want to face or talk about, but lurks under the surface. if we leave, we pay. by staying, we stay alive. or so the distorted thinking goes.

ain't sayin' your husband is like that. what i am saying is that fear drives indecision and the unwillingness to make changes for the better, and you won't make your life better until you conquer that fear.

Some of you wonderful ladies took my post to be a ultimatum or a threat to leave. But when he reads "I see from your behavior that you don't love me anymore, so I think I should let you move on, no matter how I don't want to and no matter how it hurts", the ball will be in his court and he will know that HE has to do something to salvage the marriage.
He will also know that she still loves him and wants the marriage, and that HIS BEHAVIOR IS SO EXTREME AS TO MAKE HER GIVE UP.
He won't take it as an ultimatum, because it doesn't say " If you go on like this, I must leave you".
As it stands now, he holds ALL the cards in his hand, and plays them with abandon.
I said before that "Weakness invites abuse". This is as true in the jungle as it is in relationships.
As long as she patiently sits there being treated poorly, he will continue to do so since he's angry with her BECAUSE HE'S SURE SHE'll CONTINUE BEING THERE AND TAKING IT. That's what he counts on. I doubt he wants out of the marriage, and her telling him "I lost the love you had for me" can only make him think " Uh, oh, I went too far, better take some action before it's too late".

In this process, he tortures and disrespects and exacts revenge from his wife, thus robbing her of all power, and reducing her to the position of a beggar,...."Please let's work this out....please speak to me....I'm here should you change your mind....".
Only making him realize that he may loose something HE wants-the marriage- will make him quickly change course.

It's hard for me to express in how many "layers" I think, and how I go by the psychology of things....All I know is that life has been much better for me since I started being JUST AS UNAFRAID OF LOSING SOMEONE AS HE WAS OF LOSING ME.

Almeiraz
www.yourloveadvice.com

"All I know is that life has been much better for me since I started being JUST AS UNAFRAID OF LOSING SOMEONE AS HE WAS OF LOSING ME."

amen to sister almeiraz! girlfriends, make this your goal and your credo!

I really doubt that its fear, that's my problem, I have a big mouth, and I have to learn to use it in a appropiate manner. Theres a time to speak and a time to be quiet I do understand what alm is trying to say, in fact two years ago I felt like just the way she explained, that is why I made a promise that that wouldn't happen again.....therefore I will not go there again and be at his mercy.........but what I am saying is I do believe in prayer and I do believe that the result of prayer is helping my husband to soften up......mel yes my husband is kind and gentle but he can be a jerk too like you and I, I'm sure, no one is perfect, and no-one has it all together........What I see now is that although my husband remains angry with me....he is spending alot of time with the kids and giving them his love......so this to me is not an abusive man, yes an angry one but God works through that too. And I'm trusting God with the results......no I'm not afraid, how can I be when I've seen and been through so much in my life...only to see God work it out in the end.

I learned from the guys themselves.

I studied the men's behavior, the effect it had on me, and I studied what actions of mine had what effect on them.

Let me put it another way:

We all know how effective "mirroring" and "restating" is for verbal communication: We have better communication when we imitate (mirror) the other's body language, and when we repeat to them what they told us (restating) so they know we "got" it.

Well, doing the same actions they do in a relationship, or taking their actions and giving them a consequence is the same thing, has the same effect, and is just as useful in a relationship as the above techiques are for verbal communication.
Men understand the "language" they themselves speak a lot better than they understand a woman's language.

They think in very direct terms. Example: I tell her she's awful.
She says she's hurt, but she continues talking to me, so she can't be all THAT hurt. If a woman told me I'm awful, I'd be out the door before she finished the words. Therefore, until I see something drastic from her, I shouldn't pay attention to her complaints-she often says things that don't mean much....

If the woman apologizes for something she did not do wrong, she literally digs her grave: He KNOWS that she does it to keep the peace, and often accepts the apology, since it puts him in the position of power, but he also develops contempt for her, as he has contempt for any guy who is weak, or a "pushover". He starts relying on her to do plenty of 'bending" to keep things smooth.

All this doesn't sound very good, does it? Better to behave in a way that makes the guy think " This one doesn't take s--t and doesn't give too many chances, I better watch my P's and Q's".

Almeiraz
www.yourloveadvice.com

lorena, faith don't mean squat and prayer don't mean squat until you back it up with action! what's the use of praying for something if you don't get up off your knees and make it happen?

I've learned to listen to my heart, God gives us an instinct to follow.......sometimes He says go and do, other times He says stay still and let me be in control of the situation, and that is what I read into my heart and to His guidance.....mel you may be putting me down now, but you watch and see God at work, He is faithful and I trust in his direction, He has never lead me into failing, He never fails and I trust Him........I trusted Him with my children on their death beds, I trusted Him in court last week for my oldest son.....which I was lead to take action by writing the judge a letter, he dismissed all charges and no cost or record on my son.......I came to you for prayer, and I believe that what is going on in my heart is the result of prayer, if God is working in my heart then who's to say that He isn't working in my husbands heart.

Always best to do what your heart tells you to do Lorena.

hugs,

e

ILorena...Your are right. There is a time for action, and there is a time to be still. I have read your posts for a long time, I know how important the Lord is to you.

I do not believe that marriage is about playing games, or doing certain things to get a desired response....I just don't. Im sorry. I believe it is about honesty and love...and faith in the man you married. I believe that saying something you don't feel....is destructive. If you hurt, you say your hurt, if your sorry, you say your sorry, etc.

Lorena, you know your husband, and you know whats in your heart. You find your strength and your faith and your peace in your prayers...and that is a wonderful thing. Some people cannot find those things no matter where they look, or how hard they look.

You keep praying Lorena...and believe me when I tell you, I will be praying right along with you.

Kisses and hugs to you!:) :) :) :)

of need........blessings on all of you, the Lord has moved in ways that always never seems to stop amazing me. He is good and worthy of all glory and honor.....My husband and I made peace, he wants us to seek counseling, he says that so much has build up inside of him through the years that the hurt has brought this matter into extreme, he has alot to get off his chest, and he wants me to get the help as well, and he's willing to pay whatever it takes.......He says he's tired of being in the middle of his sister and I, to her he defends me, and to me he defends her, he has no control over how we feel about eachother, and he wants not to be in the middle. I told him that I need help in communicating my feelings with him, so he says that we need to follow through with this Christian counseling. In reaching out to you, I learned that there are so many caring people out there, who are willing to reach out to another with all their baggage, I hold you dear to my heart, I have said that I would pray for some of you, trust me I will........and for the rest of you if you ever should need prayer well you know how much I believe in it, I can literally write a book on how God has answered all my prayers.....two keys again I stress 1 pray 2 trust very simple but powerful, you see God doesn't have His favorites He does for me even when I'm not at my best, but I know and understand that it is God at work and I trust Him, I love Him with my whole heart and soul, and I'm not ashamed! love you and thankyou!
:)

Lorena,

I'm so happy things are working out. God is truly awesome!

I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers as you begin this new journey of counseling together. When we draw near to God he draws nearer to us and I believe you and your husband will draw nearer to each other as a result of this trial.


Take care and keep us posted! I am sure there are many here who could use the encouragement from a situation such as yours.

*hugs*

TigerLily

I didn't post on this thread because I don't believe in prayer and I am not a Christian. But I am happy for you Lorena. Any input I would have offered would have been secular and better left unsaid. But I am still happy for you.

I'm so happy and relieved for you, Lorena. I think your faith is very commendable. I wish I had that. I am a Christian, but I really am not able to just trust like that.

Anyway, I'm so happy that you guys are making headway. I was truly happy to read that.

DAH DAH ...

Hugs,

e

I'm very happy for you and your husband Lorena. I know from personal experience how powerful prayer can be. God does listen to our prayers... we just have to open our hearts to hear His response.

I will continue to pray that things will improve for you two. Keep the faith and hold on to the love you have for each other.

I am so happy for both of you! :)

Hurray! I am so happy for you. You should go out for a romantic evening to reaffirm your feelings for each other and celebrate this first step towards reconciliation. As long as your love for each other is still burning, there is hope for the future.

What can I say, I'm so moved by all your responses........yes as Nessa said my arms are opened to you all, everyone of you has helped in some way, everyone!......I do want to comment on pinkcat, pinkcat I want to directly say to you God knows where we are at, you see, I'm a mother of three...each one of my children are differant, each one have differant needs, as their mother I love them unconditionally, their not always at their best, but when their in need I never can turn away, instead my arms are opened wide to embrace and see them through, some have weaknesses more then the other and some may have more strength then the next one, but I know them and I know whats best, I will not condem them but reassure them that they have my best interest at heart. Now the imperfect person that I am, I learned through my own experiances that God is much like me, but there are no words to the greatness of His love, so I don't need to be afraid of that kind of love, therefore I can trust Him knowing He's there to catch me, even if I fall......so even though you say it is hard to trust Him.......know this, He understands, never the less He still loves you, just pray and tell Him how you feel honestly, tell Him that it's hard to trust Him.....I reassure you He's a big God and He can handle your honesty....tell Him you want to trust Him but He needs to help you......be honest. He loves you!....We start our first meeting with a well known pastor on thursday, I'm not saying this is going to be fun......but it is a turn in our life to the next journey.:) :)

I'm glad you're doing much better and yes, counseling would help both of you strengthen your foundation again.

I too, believe in the power of prayer. So continue to pray, believing you'll receive and the powers of Heaven will not be close off to you. Be still and know that He is God, He knows you better and loves you more then any other individual on this earth.

So stay focus, stay the course...continue your prayers and continue prayers together as husband and wife and dont' rely on your own understand, remember we are human and flawed, therefore, can say and do things contrary to our purpose.

I know you both will work through this because of your tremendous faith and because you both believe in each other. Again, I emphasize....STAY FOCUS.

Paris

That's wonderful Lorena.

And your allowing Him to be in charge, well, you've got the best skipper there is.

While I blew it......he wanted to spend the holidays with his family in Mexico I tried to compromise and asked him to have his family celebrate a day ahead so that we can be back to celebrate Christmas Day with mine......while it didn't go that way, so I refused to go with him.....I just didn't understand the need all of a sudden for him to celebrate with his family for the first time since we been together, I knew he was going through a loss feeling, of losing his mother and all the lost time, but I didn't realize the seriousness of it....so I blew it by not going, so he left mad and hurt with my 11 year old son who wanted to be with his dad......believe me I was knocking myself down and was feeling if only I went....but don't forget I lost my dad and I felt that one missing would be that much more difficult for my mom if I wasn't there..........so I went to counseling by myself......I really was going through alot of regret to how I handled the situation.......but today I feel as though even if I made a mistake, that I'm a good woman, I always was faithful to my husband....and if this marriage should end I can handle it........I love all what you say....especially about focusing........and you know what guys? I feel so strong and I have faith....sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better......and I will still praise the Lord no matter the outcome.......love you guys!

Oh, Lorena. Hang in there.

I hate going through those "wilderness experiences." Don't stop trusting; don't lose your faith.

We'll keep praying for you, your marriage and your family.

I can't lose faith whisper, or stop trusting.......after all what God has done for me, and I can never do for God what He has done for me......you know alot of times we blame God for what's going on in our lifes but you know what? Alot of times we make those problems, it is our own making......but who is there always to lift us up? Our Lord.........He is there! I can't glorify Him enough, His goodness is to great! I hope that all will know that even in our brokeness God is there!:)