Caseymay
12-17-2003, 11:04 AM
Hi all I am new here...
I am 23 and my OM is 38. We have been together a little over 2 years and both have wonderful children, mine a 3 yr. old girl and his a 12 yr. old boy and we love each other very much. The only problem I have with our relationship is that he can not get past the "What is going to happen when I am 60 and you are still in your prime?" stage. I am not your typical 23 year old, I have been married and divorced and I am ready to be settled. I love this man more than I can even begin to describe and I am scared that he will let this eat away at our relationship. He has talked about us getting married after I finished school ( I am going back to be a Rad. Tech.) and we have picked out the land we want to build our house on. I guess what I really want to know is does this ever pass or will it hang over him until it finally kills our relationship??
PLEASE HELP,
Casey
BellaLove
12-17-2003, 11:27 AM
Welcome Caseymay!!!
It sounds like you guys are pretty established in your relationship and both want a future together. A 15 year age gap isn't bad at all; have a 20 year age gap with my guy. As long as you guys let it be an issue, it will be. But, if you get beyond that...you guys could have a wonderful life together :-) There's no need to worry about the future......a lot can happen before then. Whenever I start asking questions such as 'what is going to happen when I'm only 40 and he's 60?" I always say..."Well, you never know what will happen....God forbid, I could get cancer and die in a year or get in a car accident and be gone tomorrow". Its just not worth it ;-) Better to be happy now and take advantage of all you have :-) I have known a few people who's partners never got over the age-gap factor and, YES, it did kill the relationship. See, in my situation...we are way over the age factor, it was really never an issue. But, for me its more about not letting his past get to me (he was married, 4 kids, all that stuff) and i have to completely 'let it out of my system' or I know it WILL kill my relationship for good.
So, to answer your question more bluntley...Yes it can kill the relationship-as long as you let it :-) But , for many of us here, we have gotten beyond the physical factor of age.
dmbdmo
12-17-2003, 01:17 PM
The only moment you have in life is the present. The past is gone and there is no guarantee that the future will ever come. Live your present fully, powerfully and happily.
My husband is 57 and I am 31 - a 26 year age gap. We've known each other for almost 8 years and have been blissfully married for 3. There's no question that we wasted too much time obsessing about the age gap. Once we "got over it" (i.e. accepted that we were destined to be together), our lives have never been better.
True love is a precious gift that should be cherished by those of us lucky enough to find it. I love my husband dearly. I am very grateful for each wonderful day we have together. No, I have no idea what the future holds (heaven knows I could have never ever predicted where I am now!) but I do know that I am disgustingly happy in the present. Each of us works through the age gap issue in our own way. I wish you and your love the best of luck.
SaltwaterBlues
12-17-2003, 08:27 PM
Originally posted by Caseymay
"What is going to happen when I am 60 and you are still in your prime?" stage. Casey
LOL...... be a little ****y....... tell him you'll end up spending more time on top *wink*... or that your already planning, by purchasing stock in a retirement Home HMO *wink again* with a DELUXE KING SIZE BED and a condom dispenser in the bathroom....
LOL....... to be serious ( I was above too ), you two seem to need little except a little reassuring loving... and that should be the fun part :D...
Just tell him you'll rename him George Burns... he went on till he was 100:D
aclassyguy
12-18-2003, 11:39 PM
Caseymay
Just keep the faith. Welcome to this group
MerAlove23
12-19-2003, 11:29 AM
Hey there and welcome to the site!!!
You do sound like you guys have a great loving relationship..... and that's wonderful......
He will get over that eventually he needs to... If he doesn't than it could be a huge road block for your relationship!! so keep the faith and keep reassuring him how much you love him !!!
Keep Us posted and Good Luck
