Growing Old Gracefully?

Growing Old Gracefully? I have been pondering that question when I look in the mirror and realize that despite all my efforts, the inevitable is really going down!

So, what does it mean to you?

Is it an attitude? Of course. But what constitutes the graceful part of it. Acceptance? Or fighting for everything you're worth?

What about YM's? Are we trying to push back the clock?

The Old Body Thread seems to say, "be content - you're good the way you are," which is a healthy attitude, but can contentment become complacency?

Just a few things I'm curious about.

TIA

I think for me that growing old gracefully means that you accept what you can and can't do about aging. I can workout and eat well, wear sunscreen, use good moisturizers, tend to my body & face and if I so choose, use a bit of help from the plastic surgeon's office (which I won't but it'd be okay if I did). There will be wrinkles, my face won't be the same in 10, 15 or 30 years as it is now, I won't be able to eat exactly what I want, etc...and in accepting that this is part of growing old, I will age gracefully. I won't try to wear clothing that is inappropriate for my body or situation, I won't try to use the slang of the kids around me, but I will keep up on those things that interest me from alternative music to skiing to taking healthy risks all around. I will try to spread my knowledge of the world to others, accept help when I need it and remind myself that driving is a privedge and not a right when I start to slow on down (and so give it up when I can't judge distance or start feeling afraid of going above 35). So in other words, I hope to fight tooth & nail regarding those things I can control...but allow nature to take it's course with grace and acceptance in those situations that I have no option.

Being in my mid-30s, I can't say I have pondered that question in any particular detail; and I would guess my view on it would change over the years to come ...

Having said that, from my current pov I don't think I would give a damn about "growing old gracefully" ... I should hope I will at any stage of my life be "myself" and not be bothered about it's gracefully done or not ;)

My oldest sister is turning 60 soon - she hardly looks older than late 40s (and she doesn't really bother with cosmetics, proper hair cuts, dying her hair, or fashion - meaning if she did she probably would look even younger ;) ). She's not a tiny bit how my mom was 20 yrs ago at the same age, which suggests a) times are changing, and b) it's a matter more of positive mental attitude and lack of concern about "what people think" (that question she seems to reserve more for me ;) ).

I know that her "role model" is Maude from "Harold & Maude" - which again is very much about attitude and spirit regardless of circumstances ... I think that would kinda work for me too ;)

So, no idea what will be considered to be "graceful aging" in the decades to come, but I do sincerely hope I will care as little about that question then as I do atm ;)

Not sure if that reply is in any way helpful to the issue though, lol, but you asked for opinions ;)

I'm an outdoors kind of girl so I guess it shows up on my face! I'm 50 but I feel just like I did when I was in my 30's and I still do the same things. I speed-walk five days a week and that always keeps me feeling full of grit plus I've always been young heart. You know, the older I get the more I realize it's how you think and feel about yourself that makes the difference. I've seen women in their early 30's who have given up on life and are depressed and that's so sad. If you have a positive outlook on things and on life, it makes you think young and stay young. Sure your face may be getting some wrinkles but if you have a zest for life younger men always seem to be drawn to that and they do not really care if you are older or if you have a few wrinkles. On the flip side; I also think there are many YM and OW out there who would love to date an older woman and younger men but they are afraid of what their freinds or co-workers might think so they just don't take the chance.

I take care of my emotional, spiritual, physical, and intellectual being. I give with generosity. I hug my teenage sons and tell them I love them daily (somtimes even in front of their friends :D ). I have a business I LOVE, working with people I adore. I like my body, my heart and my mind. The 3 young men I have been with all told me I was "hot" and didn't even care about my aging face/body.

And yet....just yesterday at the doctor's office I asked for his opinion on the best plastic surgeon he could recommend. I feel 30, I look about 40, I AM 47. I just want to "freshen up" my look... to match my spirit. 15 years ago I NEVER would have considered P.S. and thought it was a cop out or a reflection of self hatred. Today, I think of it as another option for self-improvement (albeit, an expensive one) like a haircut, or a diet, or coloring the gray, whitening your teeth, working out, getting braces...changing the inevitable or what you were born with to reflect how you feel about yourself inside. I feel great, and want my look to match that. Don't want to be augmented, or "altered" to look like Barbie....just want to look like the me inside rather than a tired, worn version of me that drooping, wrinkles and sunspots tend to portray.

Now, since I only have about $5,000 to spend....tell me tell me (you who have gotten P.S.)....where should I put my money first? A peel, a lift??? advice would be great:D
Karen

"Growing Old Gracefully" is an attitude.
I think it is anyway...

Special K-
Please give the PS serious consideration.
The author of "The First Wives Club" just died last week
due to complications of gettting PS.
(She wanted excess skin removed from her chin area).
I am so very opposed to PS and the risks scare me to death.
Is it worth it?

My youngest daughter wants a breast reduction when
she turns 18.
I don't blame her for wanting it, and once she is 18-
the choice is hers, but it really scares me.
My daughter suffers from severe backache and she
has complained at how being "large"
hinders her sporty interests,
such as running relay and things like that.
I don't blame her for wanting relief.
She turns 17 next week and so she has some time
to think on it....
Whatever she decides, I'll stand by her, (and worry!)

As for me, I agree with the gals that have posted so far.
You all made excellent points.
I just want to be the best looking "me" that I can
be for my age.
I don't try to look younger as much as I just try to
look my best and stay in shape.
I work out and try to eat right.
I do smoke and that is the worst thing I do.
I just can't seem to quit!
:(

I'm 47 and most people guess my age as being
in my late 30's.
It's a lovely compliment for sure.
I am a very outdoorsy person, but I have always
stayed out of the sun,
(I'm a real shade-dweller).
Sunscreen has been my friend for many years!
LOL
Tans may look nice, but they turn your skin
to leather as you get older.
(I have never been to a tanning salon)
I drink tons of water, it is so wonderful
for your skin!!

Much of what we see in the mirror is hereditary.
My hair is thinning in front!
YIKES!
I have terrible bags under my eyes-
thank GOD for concealer!!
LOL
These are both traits that get handed down to us.

"Getting Old Gracefully" is making the best with
what you have and also taking care of it.
But most of all,
it is our attitudes that reflect to others who we are.
If we feel "Young At Heart"-
I think that shows.
If we feel old and beaten down, that shows too.

I am grateful for the perks of make-up,
although I detest applying it and buying it!
I am grateful for "Nice & Easy" too-
it gets rid of that grey!!
LOL

I think it's mostly in the attitude (of course, I'm only 40, so maybe I'll change my mind on that). Whe I think of growing old gracefully, I think of maintaining an adventurous spirit, and an open mind. I think of continuing to take chances when appropriate, of embracing change and of doing things I love as often as I can.

My body will obviously continue sliding towards death, but I'll keep it walking and moving (albeit in sensible shoes) for as long as I can.

And Sage, I had a breast reduction when I was 28 (darned Russian peasant ancestors have mammary glands to feed a family of 17 young 'uns) and while I will say that I'm glad I did it and there were no complications, it was a much more major surgery than I had been led to believe and I will not have elective surgery willingly again. It was difficult, uncomfortable and pretty gross when it came down to it and it pretty much convinced me that cosmetic surgery is not a recreational activity.

However, life is alot more functional with a C cup than it was with a double-D, so I would say that particular surgery can be a borderline health issue for some people. Good luck to her!

Originally posted by babes66
I want to grow old "disgracefully", does that count?:D

I am 100% with ya there Babes :)

My kids have already threatened to disown me for disgraceful behaviour :( .......... Evidently being known as a 'Hot Babe' an for being able to 'move on the dancefloor' in nightclubs they go to is bad :( .......... I believe the final straw came when I was seen with my Son by some of his m8's an when they wanted to know who I was, they refused to believe I was his mother LOL

*Jumping on the bandwagon of growing old disgracefully!*

I will not go gently into that good night!!!

I have a weird disease, and I over-produce collagen. It will keep my face looking younger, but we're hoping it won't also settle into my internal organs! High price to pay for a natural face lift!

I want to share a cute story:

My girlfriends and I went to a dance club a few years ago, and there was this old couple there, I'd say at least in their seventies. The man was in a nice suit, and the woman in a casual dress that you would expect a seventy-year-old woman to wear...no slits up the side or cleavage, nothing like that. Anyway, they stuck out like a ham at a Barmitzvah, and we thought, "What are they doing here?"

A song came on and we went out and started dancing. The older couple got up and started dancing too. The floor was crowded, and everyone was staring at them, but they seemed oblivious, just dancing away as if they were on their first date. They were pretty good too. Some of their moves were old-fashioned, but not all of them. The biggest thing was, they were really enjoying themselves! They were smiling and grooving, just having a good time. As time wore on, some people left, others paired up, but this couple just kept dancing. By the end of the night, they were practically the only ones left on the floor. I have to say, their bodies were in great shape!

In the end, the people in the club who had gawked at them at first, came to accept them and even appreciate what this couple was doing. The couple had a great time regardless. They came there to dance, something they obviously enjoyed doing, and they didn't give a rat's *** what anyone else thought. Their attitude obviously worked for them, because they were healthy and happy in their old age. They probably went home and had hot sex that night, while my single friends and me pigged out at Waffle House!!!

Polly - that is a cute story. I wish I could have seen them. Dancing is one of my favorite things. I will get up and dance even if I alone on the dance floor. I am sure that seeing them would be very inspiring! Enjoying life like that. How lucky they are.

Thanks everyone for your responses.

About PS. I always thought it was so vain and I would never do it, but if I could afford a little nip and tuck in a few places I think I'd go for it. Nothing major, mind you.

Sage-a girl where I work had the surgery you mentioned about 2 months ago and she still is on light duty and moves cautiously like it is hurting her. She does look better, and her problem was also back aches.

Shewulf, Blondie and Babes _ i know growing old disgracefully is lots more fun! And maybe it slows down the process, mentally.

DS_"When I think of growing old gracefully, I think of maintaining an adventurous spirit, and an open mind." I never really thought of being adventuresome as part of growing old. Maybe that is just old school thinking. But, that is a very good point!

Karen - have you gotten any ideas of where you are going to start with the ps? I wish my insurance plan would cover a little something cosmetic, but it barely covers the necessities!

Midge - I work out too and walk to and from the gym. It really does change my attitude. I could conquer the world when I arrive home. Today I am vegging, a total slob, and feeling my age actually!
Carazy - yeah - who said we have to grow old gracefully anyhow? I need to see Harold and Maude - never watched it but have it mentioned here a few times.

One Tiger- ooo - the driving issue. I can't drive now because of my seizures and it is a huge loss! My Dad still drives and he is 85. I think he should have lost his license when he was 40 because frankly he's a holy terror. I'm sure if they took his away he would be devastated.

Your reply " So in other words, I hope to fight tooth & nail regarding those things I can control...but allow nature to take it's course with grace and acceptance in those situations that I have no option." pretty much sums it up for me too.
Thank you all.

i'm going to be 40 this june and have been thinking about ageing a lot recently. thoughts mostly triggered by my boyfriend who is half my age :) and as there really is no recipe i think that gracefully in this case just means staying true to myself, not pretending to be something i'm not anymore. but i am... more in fact:) although i feel like i'm 20 i'm much more than i was at that age :) with all the knowledge and experience and relaxed as i am now...

and greetings to everybody as it's my first post here :)

adrenalina,

Welcome and thanks for responding. Be sure to fill us in a little about yourself. Sounds like you have a real age-gap going on there! Join the club. I'm 54 and bf is 33. But I actually don't know who is the bigger baby!

"i'm going to be 40 this june and have been thinking about ageing a lot recently. thoughts mostly triggered by my boyfriend who is half my age "

Sometimes I think a YM makes you feel older, instead of younger. We all have our days I guess.