The nightmare that wasn’t

In the Sexually Speaking section, Tyg started a thread about his sex dream. The comments so far have been interesting to read, and I too would like to post some memorable dreams. However, my dreams would be off topic in Sexually Speaking, so I thought I would mirror Tyg’s thread in Chit Chat.

… And here we are.

I have had two very memorable dreams. The first occurred nearly a year ago, and the other just a few weeks ago. They both involve the OW/friend that I have been interested in. In both cases, I woke up with a strong response to the dream.

The setting of the first dream was non-specific. Only the situations and my feelings were detailed. In the dream, my OW/friend swirled in undesirable situations (swirled metaphorically, not visually). These situations where all of the shortcomings she seemed to have, and one consequence - she was pregnant in the dream, even though she has never been married and is no longer in a committed relationship. Since we both live and work at a religious college, she would soon be out of a job, needing a place to live, and without the financial stability to support a child. As you can imagine, I woke up devastated… or so you would think. Instead, I woke with the most tranquil feeling I have had in my entire life. Can you guess why?

I will post the answer later, as well as the sequel to this dream that I had more recently.

I'd guess Trinity, Kimmy. They have more liberal standards when it comes to dating and marriage. Moody won't even let blacks and whites date, let alone allow an ow/ym relationship and Wheaton just got around to allowing boys and girls to dance together. lol

I’m still writing my conclusion/thoughts on the dream, but let me answer your questions about the college.

The school is less conservative than some religious colleges. Today, there are co-ed dorms, separated by floor or wing, and you can have visitors of the opposite sex in your room until midnight, two in the morning on weekends.

There are students who date younger staff. The administration doesn’t cause trouble; as long as it is a serious relationship, they aren’t having sex, they aren’t co-habitating, and the staff or faculty member isn’t in a position of authority over the student. I had one professor who dated and later married a student, though she wasn’t allowed to take his classes, and was barred from his office. They now have two college age boys.

I am still a student, though only part-time. I work 30 hours per week on the campus, for web development and admissions. She in a resident counselor. The age gap is noticeable, but reasonable. Plus, we were acquainted with each other before either of us had anything to do with the college. And of course, I have yet to ask her out. I plan to fix that soon, once I get some of my affairs in order.

Well, it seems that my post didn’t spark the sort of conversation that I hoped it would. I thought it would be fun for others to speculate. Also, I was hoping to hear more dreams of an unusual nature. They can be so interesting at times, that’s all.

Now, my conclusion to the first dream, for anyone who is the slightest bit interested.

As I see it, stable relationships start with stable individuals, and in this dream, my OW/friend was displaying strong signs of personal instability. That said, my desire to pursue a relationship with her can be seen two ways. Either my interest in this woman is erroneous, or my fears are unfounded. The answer resides in the details of the dream.

Nightmares terrify us because we believe in the frightful things that we see happening in them. As the saying goes, “seeing is believing”. But that was not the case in this nightmare. Instead, those troubling situations had no bearing, as if they did not exists. When I woke up, I felt tranquility, not devastation or uncertainty. Her inherent goodness was so true that it could not be masked by the unreality of the nightmare. I carried the strongest part of the dream with me when I awoke. The result was an overwhelming sense of tranquility. That is the understanding that I have since come to.

Of course, this is all an afterthought. All I know for sure is that I awoke from a nightmare feeling incredible tranquility.

I didn't see this thread. But actually, your description of the dream is rather vague to me, also.. you say you had two dreams, then only go on to describe one of them rather vaguely. I didn't really understand how this dream could be considered by you to be a nightmare, if you awoke with tranquil feelings, and nothing really "scary" or life-threatening happened in the dream.

Pregnancy/birth/babies.. can signify new beginnings, new ideas, new things in our lives. That is not necessarily a bad thing, and could be why you didn't feel bad upon awakening.