Trust and Betrayal

How do you folks deal with trust issues with the people close to you? If someone you know betrays your trust...what do you do? Please share you thoughts.

First of all, I let them know completely how I feel. I am not one who can hold that inside me. Eventually, I always try to forgive, however, it is not so easy to forget. Depending upon the circumstances, it is not always easy to rebuild that trust. Examples, my two ex-husbands. :rolleyes:

I agree 100% with Nessa!!! That is just what you have to do!!! EXACTLY! (for me anyway)

The *** will be sitting on the curb.

I learned my lesson. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

It all depends with me.

I am a lot like Kelley-
if you are unfaithful, you are history.
Period.

I am the type,
that as long as you are honest-
I can be flexible.
But when you lie-
my trust, (and respect) goes right into the dumper.

I am the type that will forgive,
but I never forget.

I am 100% trusting until that trust is betrayed. My trust starts out small and then grows based on the person's behavior over a period of time.

I see women trusting men too quickly over and over. Then when something happens, they are crushed. It takes TIME to see if someone is trustworthy or not.

I am SO guilty of rushing into things and then regretting later. When I take my time in trusting and my actions REFLECT that I am taking my time, then I save myself a lot of grief and regret.

I DO HOWEVER TRUST MYSELF, to take care of myself and handle the situation if someone DOES betray my trust. This keeps me out of fear if the person SHOULD BETRAY ME.

I vote with Kelley, Sage, and Molly...

Trust... until you break it... then you are gone!

trust needs to be earned... words, actions... you betray me once, its a long road back , if i ever trust you again

One strike, and they're out.

It's impossible for me to ever trust someone 100% again if they have lied to me (a lie of significance, that is, but even little ones can do damage incrementally).

I am one of those 100% trusters to start out with, which is odd since I have been betrayed by just about everyone. But I never want a person to have to "pay" for the mistakes of others so each person starts out with a clean slate.

However I do have a HUGE long list of red flags and I am more perceptive.

My recent ex.. three months after we were married, he gave me his old computer to rebuild because we were going to have an online business. So I was working on it and going through and saving files, when I came across some pictures of a business trip he went on while we were dating. I thought NEAT, let me look at those. Because he had called me everyday while on that trip and described stuff to me. There was a woman in many pictures... at this point I was still trusting enough to think it was a coworkers wife or something, til I saw the inside of her hotel room.

I called my ex and asked so who was this woman on your business trip. Ummm... uhhhh, ahhhh....

Turns out she was someone he met online the same time he met me. Only she lived in South Dakota. Further investigation ( I am a geek after all and can find old emails ) turns out all the while he was dating me, and going on trips with our children together, and blah blah blah, he was emailing her and planning to meet her on this business trip.

I had to decide at that point. Is this marriage going to go on? If so I have to let him know I know, and move on... to get lost in it would end the marriage.

I let it go, and never in 4 years mentioned it again. It was that or divorce. In hind site, he never ever again gave me reason to doubt him. We divorced for other reasons.

I am very trusting, but once someone betrays me, I just keep my distance. I am not into revenge, I prefer to surround myself with harmony and good people, and it’s a natural, instinctive reaction for me. I just stay away from those who lie to me or do things behind my back.

Nevertheless, if someone hurts me and apologizes, I forgive easily
.

If someone breaks my trust...they simply do not really exist to me anymore. They don't...I can't be friends with someone whom I distrust...I can't love someone whom I distrust. Which is, most likely I don't anyone named becky....*LOL*

You have one chance with me...if you screw that up, you just done burned your only bridge. I use to give people another chance...however, I got burned too many times by doing that.

So, I don't do it anymore...

You betray my trust...I will never look at you in the eyes again. If I happen upon you...I will simply turn my back to you.

To gain trust me on the friendship level it takes time and actions most be sincere.
If someone gets there with me, they have my loyality and love.

If the trust is broken, I withdraw into isolation to think about the situation. If the other person is sincere in their apology, I will forgive and but I will not forget. If their is no apology and I think it was breach of trust, I cut the other person off.