Feel like i am doing something wrong. Confused and scared. Help!

Hello everbody at ageless,

I am a 28 year-old single mom and parent. I have been reading some of the things that you have been saying on the topic of older woman/younger man relationship. I am finding myself in this situation right now. I realize that my age and the age difference i am worried about is not as significant as some of yours might be, but to me it is significant.

I have been watching this guy for some time and have made my approach just recently. I was surprised when he agreed to meet me so that we could get to know each other. The guy I am refering to is 7 years my junior.

I have to admit that I am scared and nervous about meeting him. I dont know if I am doing the right thing by being attracted to a guy so young. I feel as if I am some sort of perverted older woman. We are going on a date tommorow and I dont know what to do or say or anything for that matter. Granted it has been a while since i have been on any kind of date....but i have never been this nervous.

I geuss what i am trying to find out is if this is ok to do? Am i not taking advantage of him or something in that area.

This is not the first time that i have been attracted to a younger guy, but it is the first time that i have acted on it.

I would really appreciate your advice on this matter.

Thank you very much in advance.

Anenda

Ok getting out my calculator, you are 28, he is 7 yrs younger, makes him 21.

LOL, dang lady.. RELAX.

Have a wonderful time... DO NOT even think about age. 7 yrs is nothing, you are in the same generation, no gap at all.

Just enjoy yourself, be funny, interesting, attentive, appreciative, all those things you would be on a date your age.

Sorry, not trying to minimilize your plight. My second husband was 8 yrs younger than me so I know that seems like a lot I was 33 he was 25. But it turned out to be nothing. My third husband was 10 yrs younger and that also turned out to be nothing.

ENJOY your self. It is just a DATE after all.

i agree with swan just enjoy yourself. My age gap with my girlfriend ( soon to be wife) is 11 yrs. i didnt know how to go about it too. i just went with my attraction to her and acted on it . we met talked about anything that came up. the main thing you should do it be yourself.

Just go have fun get to know him and see where it goes. you dont need to know what to say or do just let it flow and things will work out in the end.

7 years is NOTHING! Seriously!! I'm 30 and my bf is 20 and I feel like that is nothing, too. At first, I thought I was a dirty old woman, just like you did. But thank goodness I gave him a chance.

Hi Anenda and welcome to Ageless.

I realize that the 7 year age difference is of concern to you, however, there are many people on this forum who have much larger age gaps and prove every day that love can happen at any age.

Try and not look at how old he is, but instead how mature is he? In other words, focus more on whether he, as a man, would make a good partner.

Age is just a number. It's the person's quality and maturity level that matter most.

Relax and enjoy your date. Just be yourself. :D

No worries, Amanda. Like Whiterose said just enjoy yourself and not let age be a factor. Its the person you feel for right? There are many here that have feel and/or with many in a much lrage age gap? I am sure there is a nice bind you will have with him and take it for what it is. Just enjoy.

Its easy to say just relax and go for it, but it really is something you have to want, and want badly enough, to not care what others think about you.
If you honestly can't get over a 7 year age difference, then maybe you don't want it badly enough for it to work for you.
He's legal, you're legal, if it turns out that he's a wonderful guy once you get to know him, isn't a silly thing like 7 years a dumb reason to not take a chance?
You won't know unless you get to know him, and you won't get to know him without spending some time with him, right?
Just think of being friends, you're kind of jumping the gun on worrying about a relationship before the first date.

Welcome to the Board, Anenda . . . listen to these people . . . they know of what they speak. I am 52 and Joe is 27 (you do the math) . . . and you think you have a gap :)

Just go for it and have fun!! :D

Hello everyone,

Thank you for your encouraging words. I am getting ready right now to go on the date. I have butterflies in my stomach and couldnt sleep very well last night but i am ready to take the chance.

I will keep you up to date on the how the date went. I definetly intend to have fun. My first and main thing right now is to get to know him. And hopefully if there is something there to continue to get to know him when he is with me.

A good friend of mine said to me on the phone last night.......If god brings you to it, he will get you through it. So i am going with that thought, your advice and my happy go lucky, fun to be with self...(pep talk to myself :)

Ok, i guess this is till later then......keep your fingers crossed for me.


Bye

Anenda.

just a short note before i go

i said in my intial cry for help that i was a single mom and parent...what i meant to say was a single mom and teacher.

sorry about that.....:)

i am 47, and i would not consider anything less than 10 years a gap. i know guys who are 10 years younger than me, and its like nothing at all.

don't worry about it, and go for it!

kye

Originally posted by PinkCat
7 years is NOTHING! Seriously!! I'm 30 and my bf is 20 and I feel like that is nothing, too. At first, I thought I was a dirty old woman, just like you did. But thank goodness I gave him a chance.

what should i say, i, that my ex was 16 older? and she felt like a "dirty sexdrived hag"! u'll never know....

Originally posted by unregistered
what should i say, i, that my ex was 16 older? and she felt like a "dirty sexdrived hag"! u'll never know....


http://www.othersteve.com/images/villageofwrong.jpg

:) Hey, Ananda, don't forget..... he's an adult and can think and make decisions for himself. Somehow we OW put ourselves in the maternal/responsible for him kind of place, when, honestly, if we REALLY let other people be responsible for themselves, we can relax and be responsible for OURSELVES. Then you can focus on YOUR important questions.....like...... how do I feel about HIM? Am I comfortable? Can I express myself and my true feelings? Do we laugh and giggle together? Do we GET the same its? Do I want to get involved with a young man?

Anyway, I hope your date was fabulous, and you found yourself relaxing in the company of an intelligent, caring, man who found your company to be fabulous!

:D Juliet