Sense Of Honor: How Do You Define It?

Hi Everyone! I hope all is well today.

Not to brag, but I like to think of myself as someone who has a strong sense of honor. I like to remain loyal to my family, friends, and anyone I fall in love with. These people are important to me and I will fight to make sure that no one disgraces them.

How does honor play into a romantic relationship? For me, it would mean not abandoning that special someone when she needs me the most. I'll stick by her side. It also means never stabbing someon in the back.

Because of this, I would probably never date a woman who has previously dated any of my male friends, no matter how much chemistry I had with her. He might have been hurt badly, and dating his ex might devastate him.

I would also never get serious with a woman who dumps another man just to be with me; how could I guarantee that she wouldn't do the same to me one day? What goes around comes around...

Perhaps you all define honor the same way as I do. I'm basing my explanations on my own personal experiences in life.

Honor is an abstract word, so I'd like to hear about how you all define it. Do you have a strong sense of honor? (I know the majority of you do; it's just a rhetorical question.)

Thanks everyone!

Adam

Adam, i love your name, it is my boyfriends name, it is funny you should bring this up as i was just speaking about this with my Adam. First i do say that it is wise never to say never, every situation can have entirely unique circumstances, i have been in situations that may have not been 100% honorable, but i felt at the time it was a path i had to take, mind you i do have a very strong conscience and i cannot willfully hurt another person.

Also, relationships are funny some start from not so pure beginnings and yet turn into lovely things of true love, and there are some that have alot of lofty values only to end up with alot of pain . i guess all i can do is examine my character and my motives and then realize that God is large and He is in charge, and he can made lemonaid out of lemons.

In SHORT, doing what you say you will do, and meaning what you say.

Honesty. Not doing ANYTHING that you would not want EVERYONE to know about.

I have also not always been honorable. It is something we try to attain, a goal more than a final destination.

For me, honour in a relationship means starting as you mean to continue. In other words, not putting on a facade to impress someone, or to win their affection, and then your true character appears later.

It's always been important to me to keep my promises -- so I'm very careful not to even make a promise if I'm unsure about it.

However, the #1 rule of honour is No Game Playing.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Swan
[B]In SHORT, doing what you say you will do, and meaning what you say.

I agree with Swan. Honor to me is being a person worthy of receiving another person's respect. The only way for me to gain someone else trust, my actions must reflex my words.

Honor is very under rated in our society now.

To me, to be honorable, you have to have a great sense of honesty and never compromise your integrity and, of course, be loyal to a fault.

Hi Adam,

Thanks for posting this question.

Personally, I define honor as a combination of having a fair and loving value system, as well as the committment to implement that value system. So many people I've met pay lip service to being `good people' so as to appear nice, but really don't act on it.

I like the fact that you take the time to make judgments about people based on their behaviour. I learned to do that the hard way, and its something my own young partner is just learning now. Some of the biggest trouble makers in our relationship are people my partner has known for a long time, who have behaved dishonorably towards others again and again. When we met , he was still in that frame of mind of `well, they might have hurt a lot of other people, but they haven't hurt ME'. I have already learned that this is a terrible mistake. Its just a metter of time before you get treated the same way.

Hence, I respect your philosophy about not dating women who break up with other guys to be a new one. You can't generalise, of course, but youd want to pay a lot of attention to what was going on in her previous relationship which led her to cheat rather than firmly breal up with someone she didn't love.

Its refreshing to hear people's opinions regarding homnor..thanks again for bringing up this discussion

I think being a person of honor means living in an honorable way: Never lying, cheating, stealing, or stepping on someone else for personal gain. It means, as you said, being loyal, faithful, trustworthy, and just. It means doing things that are right, not popular. It means being honest with yourself, and living up to your own values and morals.

I was raised to be honorable. I have faults, but at the end of the day, I can look in the mirror and know that I am at least honorable, and that people can trust me and count on me.

I was also raised with a sense of honor. My grandfather used to say that a person without honor is already dead. His worst insult was to say that you had no honor. I value a strong sense of honor more than anything else about a person.

My husband Dave is the most honorable man I have ever met. He will not lie -- ever. It caused some problems for us at first because he hadn't learned to filter what he said, but I always knew that, even if it hurt, it was the truth. He has always stood up for me and is always there for me when I am sick. He is gentle with all living things, even critters that he is afraid of like bees. He is faithful and has no use for men who even look at another woman. He is brave and has faced years of medical tests and differing diagnoses and now is standing up to his abusive family as he demands that they admit what they did to him and get some help for themselves.

He astonishes me every day with his quiet bravery and tenderness. He is the kind of man I thought was only a fantasy and I am amazed that he is a part of my life. If this sounds like a love letter to my husband...it is. He is the most honorable man I've ever known and I am so very proud of him that I sometimes have to tell the world.

Peace,
Jane (56) who adores Dave (30)

Thank you all for your posts. It's very touching to hear all of your stories and experiences.

I know I certainly have my faults and am not perfect (there, one of my faults is that I am a perfectionist). I don't expect other people to be perfect, but I do expect them to be as honest as possible and show some integrity.

Kittylane, I had never thought about what you said: that sometimes we have to take tough roads even if they're not the most honorable roads. I've had some tough times in my young life, experiences that I'm still trying to sort out. But I do so with the attitude that I'll finish all business I've begun.

I try not to hurt other people in the process of behaving honorably, but sometimes I've learned that preserving one's own sense of honor means standing up for yourself. This applies to romantic situations as well as everyday life.

I won't lie to or cheat on any woman who may become a "steady." But if I'm not interested in her, I'm just going to tell her straight up, though I will try not to be harsh. After all, that is the honorable thing to do.

Bella_D and BearsAngel, I truly admired your stories. And thank you to everyone else who has posted. I've been thinking a lot about honor lately, so I wanted to see how you all felt about it.

Adam

Don't backstab your friends or lover.
Don't cheat on anyone you are supposed to be with exclusively.
Don't lie, but...
Don't tell everything you know.
Have ideals that are attainable.
Never say never.
Be realistic for each situation--some goals/ideals are realistic, some are not.
Be able to distinguish between the two above.

Witchy

Bears Angel...dont know how I missed this one...but thank you for sharing....all the others, too, that have posted. Ive always thought of honor as the person we are, our thoughts...when no one but God is around to look or hear. Honor, authenticity, integrity...it is a journey, a real look in the mirror to see the person you are, and are becoming each and every day. I have met many people...but few really who are truly honorable. I suppose I look at the end of my own life and think what I want people to remember of me....I havent always been the person I would wish for someone to remember. Now it is a passion, in my own Christian walk, to become more Christ-like....I wont make it here on this earth....but Ill work everyday to be better than the day before for those whose path I cross.

I define the word "Honor" in a different way. I remember talking to an online friend about 3 yrs ago. She asked me a favor to continue to help children that have hearing problems. Her daughter was badly treated in AZ and she had to go to court to sue the hospital and health insurance. To make the long story short....I told her that when my time comes, I will help charities like those. I believe that honor and commitment are the same in some way. When she asked me this favor...it was a sincere favor/promise. When you agree to do this to help others it will make you shine and glow. You know that no matter how bad or good your life is...you are making a difference in someone else's life. That is what makes you not only memorable but someone who really cares. :)