2 days to go

Friday night my darling Jeremy will be visiting me in Nashville for the first time. I am so excited I have butterflies. I want to make this trip so memorable for him that I find myself over scheduling things for us to do. There are so many things I want him to see that it is quickly feeling up the weekend.

I have asked Jeremy what he would like to do and his response is to meet my son and grandson (which by the way is being planned) and the rest of the time he just wants to be with me doing whatever I want to do.

So far I have reserved the hotel and made reservations for late a late night desert fondu at a local resturaunt.

I want to make this a very special weekend for Jeremy, any suggestions out there?

I read that doing something together that gives you an adrenaline rush is a good way to bond, just a thought.

when i visited Adam and He visa versa, we found the most serene and lovely times in parks anything representing nature... then the old staples, candles, i prefer to have food in our rooms, i have gone as far as bringing a cooler and also a electric skiddle to make omlets, i always try for the strawberries and even though we dont drink, we do drink sparling cider, i have beautiful fluted glasses that have come on many a trip with me, i bring music and also this pink scarf i have that i put over the hotel room light, just to make it cozier, since we had to make due with alot of hotels last year i always tried to bring things that would personalize our rooms. even movies are a good idea, as most hotels have vcr or disc player, bubble bath is a must as is body lotion, it may sound like alot and i didnt pull all the stuff out of the bag at once..... just once i was unpacking i tryed to personalize our space....

(Adam is in the army and these where times he and i could get away last year, he is now in italy and i will be going there in two months and do plan to bring my fluted glasses and my candles and the pink scarf.)

The closer the time gets to Jeremy getting here, the more "butterflies' I get.

Last night, it was not a good night for me, it was almost like I was trying to initiate an argument (Jeremy is so patient with me) he can always tell when I'm having a bad day and he just listens to me talk and tries to make things better. I think the reason I do this is to try to push him away since everyone in the past that I have ever loved in the past has left me and so I have built so many walls, and Jeremy is crashing through these walls one by one, so it feels like what I try to do is push Jeremy away so that I don't get hurt later on.

I am not sure why I am so nervous now. Last time I saw him, it was very difficult when it came time for us to part and I hope I can manage the "parting" better this time. Any suggestions on how to get through this?

While he is here, I will do great on Friday and Saturday but come Sunday when I have to take him to the airport my heart will feel like it is being torn to pieces. I just pray that I can continue to be in this LDR.

Any suggestions on ways to deal with this on a day to day basis would be appreciated.

Thank you so much

I'd love to give you suggestions, but we never made it out of bed. LOL No, we are not that athletic. It was over 100 degrees every day I was there, so we stayed in the air conditioning and talked. The only comfortable furniture he owned was his bed, so we lounged with his husky as a chaparone and just talked and talk. We did other things too, but when the time was right -- not just because we were in bed. ;)

He did take me for a midinight ride in his Jeep with the top down. We went to an isolated park and he showed me the constellations. He knew all their names and their stories. I will never forget standing beneath the stars with the man who was to become the love of my life.

I guess the best advice I can give you is to do something simple that is in keeping with who you are. Memories aren't always planned.

Peace,
Jane

nothing like a good walk with a good dog...on a sturdy leesh...
Hadley

Unless either one of you has something specific in mind to do, I'm sure that just being together will be great. One of my favortie memories of my two weeks with Addy was sitting on the bed and devouring almost a whole box of chocolates. I never eat them (for obvious reasons) but, being there, and picking which chocolate to eat, finding out what was inside - well, I don't know, but for some reason it was so much fun.

Another thing we did was to have a plastic mold made of our hands together, (holding hands). I've since then filled it with plaster so now, I have not only a memory or that day and the way it felt to hold his hand, but a physical reminder of it. It's great! That's what I mean, anything you two do together you will love doing, especially when you know he will have to leave again. On that note, there isn't much advise I can give. For me, saying goodbye was really awful. No matter how many times I told myself not to cry, I did - all the way home that night, and the next night, and the next night. It was sad and it hurt, and it still does. But I just keep reminding myself that it is such a gift to be happy - even if that particular happy time only lasts for a few days. You'll talk to each other and you'll be together again next time. Right now, just enjoy the moment. And, take pictures!!! The one thing I regret not doing when Addy was here was to take lots of pictures. He took some, but I should have as well.

Have a great time Summer :)

Well the day is finally here and I am sitting at work (trying to work) when I should be doing a million other things.

I still have to laugh when I think of the first time Jeremy and I saw each other in person. I arrived at the hotel about 30 minutes before Jeremey and thought I would freshen up a bit, so I changed clothes and decided to brush my teeth (yep) he knocks on the door, so rather then keep him waiting at the door, I open the door with the toothbrush in my mouth...(well, hey it worked, it was so comical it erased any awkwardness there might have been otherwise)

Now how do I top that? (lol) I don't think I can or want to take a toothbrush to the airport.

Perhaps I will just tackle him at the airport and hope he doesn't drop me when I run into his arms.

This is so unlike me. I have always been somewhat a demonstrative person, never to this degree with anyone else. For the first time in my life I feel so comfortable with someone that I can be myself.